Puppy's first play session more stressful than fun?!

[Adriana + Copernicus]

Two weeks ago, my fiance and I brought home our first dog, an 8 week old F2B goldendoodle named Copernicus!  It took all of 2 seconds for us to fall madly in love with him.  I mean, just look at that face?


When we took him to his first vet visit last week, my vet urged me to find opportunities for him to socialize with other dogs and puppies daily.  I picked up a few brochures from her front desk, and was thrilled to see that a doggie day care center in my area offered Saturday morning unstructured puppy play groups for dogs under 6 months.  "Perfect!" I thought.

On Saturday morning, I packed up our little fluff ball and his favorite stuffed blue monkey into my car and headed over to the facility.  After checking in at the front desk, showing his vaccination chart, and paying the small fee, they opened to door to the play area.

It was pure chaos.  A whirlwind of fur and teeth.

There were at least 50 unleashed puppies of all shapes and sizes running amok in a large fenced-in area.  There was barking and nipping.  There were dogs (playfully?) attacking other dogs.  And there were a few dogs cowering in corners.

Against my best judgment, and at the urging of the staff, I added my sweet Copernicus to the mix.  He was immediately thrown on his back by several older puppies and pinned, and he spent as much time as possible at the edge of the fence trying to stay out of the way.  The one staff person supervising kept telling me that puppies learn manners from each other, and that this slightly aggressive behavior was totally normal and helpful to him.  But all I could think about was how nervous and uncomfortable he looked.  

Am I being overly protective?  Is it really in his best interest to stick him in a pen of high-energy pups and cross my fingers that he gets socialized?  Or is my gut instinct correct that this is not the right place for him to learn manners?  As a first time dog-mom (and a worry-wort by nature) I'm struggling to find the right answer.  

 

[Christine & Camus]

Personally, I would not put a 10 week old puppy in a group with puppies as old as 6 months.  Older puppies can be very rough and yes they do teach each other manners, but I think it should be age appropriate and in much smaller groups. A small group of 2-4 young puppies would be most I would be comfortable with.

[Bonnie and Kona]

Adriana, I am so sorry this happened to you and Copernicus. I would recommend that your pup be socialized with one or two other puppies in a place where you are supervising. There may be some wrestling that looks a little exuberant but you will be there to decide what is acceptable for your dog.

Take a deep breath and see if you can find someone, perhaps through your vet, that has a pup who could meet you and Copernicus for a play date. It would also work just fine for Copernicus to meet an adult dog that is calm and vaccinated for a little socialization. So if you have friends who have a dog you could see if they would get together with you. It is important that they have all of their vaccines up to date though.

I would not socialize my puppy with other dogs at all rather than go back to the chaos you have described. 

[Camilla and Darwin]

I don't think you are being over protective. I think it would be much better for Copernicus to socialize with one or two puppies rather than a whole bunch, way less overwhelming! Socialization should be a GOOD experience for them... not terrifying.

[Emily & Wispa]

Yes, socialisation is important, but it has to be the RIGHT kind of socialisation.  That kind of situation does nothing but make your puppy scared of other dogs!  I would suggest socialising her with only one puppy at a time for now, and be sure they're healthy!!  Are there any dog parks in your area?  If you go at a time with few other dogs, and maybe meet local puppy owners you may be able to form your own puppy play dates without the chaos.  We've had Wispa just over 6 weeks now and we've already met so many dog owners in the area.  Today we met an 18 week old australian doodle at the park, and we've arranged to go back at a similar time a couple days a week to see them again, and the old lady living downstairs from us has a daughter living just up the road with another puppy that we've had play dates with.

And then there are the structured puppy classes, which should be a more controlled environment with limited numbers of puppies.  This is the kind of socialisation your puppy needs with other puppies.  Until you meet the right crowd, focus on introducing Copernicus to as many different kinds of PEOPLE and other animals as you can.  Any horses near you?  Or dog-friendly cats belonging to any of your friends?  Bunnies?  Or even just situational socialisation - take him for a bus ride!  introduce him to bicycles or strollers or wheelchairs.  Every new experience he has at this age will be beneficial, not just socialising with puppies.

[Moe]

Your photos are just gorgeous!!! I wouldn't go back either, sounds absolutely crazy. I think we should all start listening to that little voice inside us, your instincts are usually correct. My dog is 10 mo old and still doesn't care for dog parks or doggy play dates. She is a people dog, in the long run it is much easier.

[Adina P]

In my opinion, 'socialization' is the process by which you help your puppy become used to nuances of life in the human world and how to feel at ease in the world: downtown, at a park, in the presence of other dogs, in the presence of children, with people approaching, with tall men in hats, people with umbrellas, loud cars passing by, motorcycles starting up...basically the sounds and sights of the big wide world he will participate in.  I don't think socialization requires playing with no rules with a bunch of dogs or puppies who are also following no rules. 

[Carol and Banjo]

Your instincts are correct.   If you want him to play with other dogs I'd do some one-on-one with a dog or two at a time.   There's no reason for that many dogs to be together in one place.  I don't think it serves any positive purpose....it seems to me it's just asking for trouble.   BTW....Your puppy is absolutely ADORABLE!!!!!!     On a  side note....when we brought Banjo home to our rather sedate and quite home I purchased a CD with all sorts of different sounds...sirens, motorcycles, bells ringing, etc and would keep it on for a hour or so each morning.   I have no idea if it worked but we've yet to find anything that scares Banjo or makes him nervous.

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

Adina said basically what I agree with. Socialization is not just about meeting other puppies or dogs.  I agree that a group of 40 puppies is certainly not a good idea.  Most important of all is the window of opportunity you have right now to expose Copernicus to humans, other dogs and life in general.  I took Riley everywhere I could possibly think of to expose him to as many experiences as possible. I even went to Youtube and found thunder and lightening, ambulance sirens, trains and hail stones and I used to play them gradually turning the sound up.  I went with him to meet the postman and his bike, the elderly men with hats on, the women with umbrellas and baby strollers and the young children in the park.  The more people and experiences Copernicus can be exposed to the better.   As far as dogs were concerned we made friends with a couple of other people in the area with puppies and introduced them.  We also made friends with older dogs that I knew were Ok. We took him in the car as much as possible even though he used to throw up for the first few months.  All of that work was so worth it.  Riley is now 15 months old and we can now go anywhere and I have a calm dog who is not afraid of all anything.   In the company of other dogs he is perfect. He walks beside me on his leash and walks past yet he loves nothing more than to play if given the chance.  The work you do now cannot be underestimated.  Just plan a little, put the work in and you will have a balanced and well adjusted dog in the future.  

Wishing you the best of luck with your gorgeous puppy.

[Rachel and Ollie]

Wow, isn't he just so cute? Poor little dood. I would have been nervous too! I'm a first time puppy owner too! One thing that really helped Ollie at that age was play dates with other dogs in backyards (actually people on here who took me in and showed Ollie and I the ropes!) Ollie learned (and is still learning) puppy manners from dogs that were well trained and well mannered. He actually looks up to them as his older siblings (and acts like the annoying little brother that he is). We didn't do large groups of dogs until a few months ago and even then he was with his big brother and sister to protect him (and I actually think they would have had they needed to)

[Adriana + Copernicus]

Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone!  I really appreciate you all taking the time to reply and give me advice.  I'm scared stiff that we're going to do this puppy parenting thing wrong, so it's hard to trust my gut.  I'm very grateful for this community of doodle-lovers!

[Bonnie and Kona]

I think you are going to be just fine. You love your pup... you will get the hang of it!

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

I was the same way Adriana! I was sure I was going to ruin Tara somehow...emotionally, physically whatever! I second guessed every decision! But I didn't have DK then so you are ahead of the game! Fortunately puppies are much more resilient than we realize! :)