Continuation of Sherri's Rehome Discussion!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I have been up since 5:30 am thinking about Sherri’s discussion about all of the recent rehoming discussions.   She is right in that we have to come up with some way to deal with these discussions.  As worried as I am about the dogs in question, I am equally as worried about the way these discussions divide our DK community.  We have had discussions on being nice that didn’t end up so nicely and plenty of arguments as to how a discussion was handled and how it could have been handled better.  Sometimes I agree.  Sometimes I don’t, but yesterday hit a nerve because I felt like I was nice.  I said please and thank you and still we were not nice enough.  Even some of the comments about what we should have done, we did do, and still the poster got upset and closed the discussion and everyone is in agreement that the real loser is going to be that dog.  The bottom line is however I think we handled it or didn't handle it, we didn't get through to that poster and so I do agree, we need a better way.

 

I am not here to re-hash that discussion, because honestly I am mad about it and in the long run, no one should care about that as much as we do about helping the next dog that appears in the next rehome discussion, and we all know there will be another dog soon.  There is absolutely no way to control a discussion like the one yesterday or the others before that because unless we send out a script to all of our members telling them to please not respond emotionally or negatively to anyone trying to rehome their dog for any old reason, someone is going to respond passionately and get someone else mad.  At first, the thing that upset me yesterday is that people who had not read the comments or offered any assistance to the poster were critical of those of us who did, but since those people are some of the ones I respect the most here on DK, I also know they care as much about these dogs as I do and even if we don't agree, they have a right to their opinion.   Trust me, when I say that is a hard one for me :) I also know there is a wide range of people on DK with varying opinions and sometimes we have to put aside our personal feelings to get something done for a dog that needs our help.  I also know that behind every comment is the need to help a dog.

 

It seemed to me that the majority of the responders to Sherri’s post felt like we hardly ever talk anyone out of rehoming their dogs once they post and we should just respond with the facts and keep emotions out of responses.  With that said, I think the discussions are right to be on the front page, but I think we need a link or something to refer the person to the DRC or IDog and after that, I hope the discussion gets closed so no further comments can be made. 

P.S. Please note: if you disagree with me I will close the discussion :)

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

thanks for your comments Susan. Just wanted to clarify that Wally wasn't my dog, Wally was a dog being rehomed in another discussion by the daughter of Wally's owners. My Winston came to me from the exact same situation as Ryan and Utah though. And it's funny, when I think back about how wonderful the description was of Winston and then compared that to the dog I got - sick, infected, smelly, overweight dog who peed in my kitchen the first night, it makes me wonder what is wrong with Utah, and what all is wrong with Wally, and all the others. This is one thing that worries me. Somebody on DK might come forward to adopt one of these dogs, but a few weeks into it they may think "this is too much, we didn't realize how bad the problems were" and then the dog is back to needing a new home. Honestly, it scares me to death to think of what would have happened to Winston if they had given him to that random guy who answered their ad instead of me.

 

Ok, I'm getting off my soap box too. Time to take the doodles for a nice long walk. :)

[Adina P]

Sometimes nothing is likely wrong with the dog.  On my worst days when I've been stressed, sleep-deprived, and short on patience it was HARD to be excited about my two dogs needing attention beyond what my baby needed.  If I didn't like the dogs to begin with and I was someone in a different circumstance I can see how a dog that was simply higher energy would have driven me bonkers.  Dogs can drive you bonkers sometimes...so can kids.  It happens.  But again if the dog owner doesn't like or love dogs (or their dog) to begin with....  So when it's a spouse who doesn't like dogs, the dog that acts like a dog is going to be a big problem to that spouse.  Dogs like to touch you with their noses, bark, bounce around if they are young, need to go potty and someone to let them out.   Those just become burdens and nothing more.

You know how when someone asks about getting a second dog many of us list the double work load they'll have (among good things)?  Well if you take out the joy and love part of dog ownership, then it's all work and stress.  This is not a defense of anyone, just saying that sometimes it really is a perfectly good dog but living with a perfectly non-dog loving person(s).

I have a relative who has nearly a perfect dog.  The dog is happy to be carpet furniture most of the time, doesn't bark, rarely does a thing wrong, is not overly affectionate...in other words, it is not a dog that does stuff to drive anyone crazy if they don't love dogs.  But the dog sheds horribly and if it were up to the relative this dog would have been rehomed by now because it's just more work for this person.  But the spouse (who rarely actually does much dog care) wants to keep the dog so it stays.  So the dog is, most days, an annoying thing that sheds and has to be picked up after.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

And those are the dogs that will find wonderful homes and be much better off, so those are the cases where it's relatively easy to be polite and guide the person to the appropriate rescue or whatever.

But we have had many cases where the dog did have something wrong with it, and those are the cases where it's hard for some of us to say anything, but also hard to turn our backs.

[Adina P]

Yes I can believe it. 
But speaking of elderly dogs...anyone want to volunteer to foster older dogs indefinitely?  That would be a great dog rescue mission for a few kind souls who could help doodle rescue in a special way.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

I actually wanted the dog in yesterday's story.  I LOVE GERIATRICS human and canine.  I also have my old elderly limping cat sitting right here on the monitor.

I've successfully lived with dogs with bad  hips, blind dogs, and one with a severe personality disorder but loved the work and companionship and thoroughly loved walking down the street at .00005 miles per hour :)

Financially, I could not afford any other animal or I would have had more by now. 

[Susan, Schuester and Olive]

But, Karen, you are extraordinary. Not everyone can do what you do. Some of these animals, sick or not, must be moved from their present homes.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

They can't be moved from their present homes, though. There is nowhere for some of them to go. And a sick dog often can't handle the stress and loss. They get sicker. They sometimes lose their will to live. There are truly some cases where if the dog can't stay where he is, the kindest thing would be to humanely euthanize him. I know there are many people who think that anything is better than that, but there are worse things.

If the person who has lived with the dog for years and supposedly loves him is not willing or able to care for him, why would a stranger be willing or able to do it?

It's like that mythical farm in the country that all the unwanted dogs and cats used to go to; remember that? That was always the story when someone's parents got rid of their dog. He went to live in the country. Now we say "rescue" instead.

[F, Calla & Luca]

And if a dog is sick, has lost the will to live and has no one to love him, then humane euthanasia is one of the kind things we can do I believe.

[Susan, Schuester and Olive]

I think you are so right, Andrea. I came on the doodle site for the same reason most of us do. I have a doodle 15 mos. and one 9 mos. Doodles are new for me, but not dogs. I've had several dogs of all assortments. My last 2 were older re-homes. One had been mistreated, so he needed to be out of that home, period! The other, I had for almost 14 years. He was my best friend. While my dad was I'll last summer, we talked about how I was going to keep myself busy with-out him. We both knew I would be devastated when I lost him. So..we talked about me getting a puppy. After losing my 14 year old German Shepherd, I swore I would never go through that heartbreak again. The vet told me how sorry she was to hear that because of all the dogs that need homes, but I was adamant! Now, I can't imagine not having Schuester and Olive!, but it is really nice to have other doodle lovers to talk to. All the doodles, as well as any other dog deserves the best home possible, and it is nice that even if the only reason some people join the group is to re-home, that they are at least trying to help their dog. Karen, I know all this is very close to your heart, and you are so special, but there are other people that try to do what you are doing. Not many, but some. My neighbor across the street just took in a 3 legged black lab that would not have a home if it were not for her. My daughter has 2 older sick dogs. So, please know that it doesn't always have to be a death sentence for a sick and older dog. Thank goodness there are some people like you out there. Off my soapbox once again.

[Donna K & Quincy]

OK, This will be my standing reply for those "rehome" discussions. If you are looking for help in finding ways to keep your dog, please post a discussion stating the problem, if your mind is already made up, here are links to rescue organizations that you can contact. For your dog's safety do not post on such places as Craigslist.

[Pat and Traveler]

Nicely worded, Donna.

[Donna K & Quincy]

Thanks Pat, but I think I will add in the fact that if they are looking for a way to keep their dog we would be willing to help find a solution to the problem.