Banjo and The New Baby

[Carol and Banjo]

....Over The River and Through The Woods...To Grandmother's House We Go......    My daughter and SIL came for Sunday dinner with the new baby yesterday.    I was so excited to have them visit Grammy for the first time since his birth on the 23rd.   I was also excited to have Banjo meet his new future best bud.

Unfortunately things didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped.   My daughter didn't want Banjo close to the baby and definitely didn't want him to lick the baby.   He got a couple of "sniffs" in but clearly wanted to "explore".    I understand my daughter's reluctance to have a dog licking her infant.   I would have been the same way.    My instinct tells me that if she would have let me bring the baby to Banjo's level and let him sniff and lick, just as he does when people come to the house, he would have lost interest and "moved on".    As it turned out we ended up leashing him and he spent the whole visit clearly wanting to explore the new addition.    He isn't a "barker", but he did bark several times out of frustration. I could almost hear him saying "Just let me near him....I just want to get to know him"!    Mommy and Daddy kept remarking at how "loud" he was....baby was blissfully oblivious.   

So, I'm feeling disappointed that we didn't have a smoother intro and wondering what I could/should have done to facilitate a better first meeting.

I plan to talk to my daughter about allowing Banjo (totally supervised) to sniff and lick and get it out of his system on the next visit.  I'll be equipped with wash cloths to "clean up" the doggie licks.  Do you think it's wrong to allow this?    

I'm interested to hear what others have done in this situation.  

[Carol and Banjo]

LOL.... I'm afraid if I said that her eyes might roll too far back in her head Doris. LOL!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I'm sorry, Carol. I have no words of wisdom, but I know how you feel. It would have driven me nuts if my DD had felt this way when my GS was an infant. Fortunately, he was surrounded by dogs from his second day on earth, including having them on the bed while he was nursing, lol.

Here's hoping Banjo gets to be up close and personal with the baby soon! In the meantime, give him a kiss for me!

[Carol and Banjo]

Karen, Oh how I wish! I really am fine with her wishes, and believe she will "come around"......I just need to be patient.....and Banjo will need even more patience.

[Adina P]

Haha...I couldn't handle my dogs LOOKING at me when I was nursing my first.  I just wanted to be left alone.  The lack of sleep, constant need to focus on another being 24/7 was mentally exhausting and anything my dogs needed beyond that was really hard to cope with.  I was just starting to come out of that funk when Thule died.

[Adina P]

Being closer to the "new mom" stage I say let your DD have her way for a while.  It's all new to her too.  And Banjo will survive.   I'm just super protective of new moms' rights to say yes or no to what they want when it comes to their kids.  I'm super sensitive to my mom's interference and 'advice' when it's not asked for.  It may be factual that dogs licking babies is not dangerous to their health, but I wouldn't push your daughter to learn this ASAP.

Besides it's not a bad thing to have Banjo learn that he has to be patient and not get his way with new baby.  It'll allow DD to relax.  Banjo may not be as bad as Thule was, but there was never any 'get it out of her system' exercise when it came to licking.  She could lick the skin off someone because she had no off button.  So I'd sometimes let her get a lick or two in, but that's it.  I don't think it's wrong to allow Banjo to lick baby, except if your daughter doesn't want it.  Think of it it this way, Therapy dogs who are intended to interact with people are also supposed to be able to hold their licker ;-) so Banjo will be fine even if he can't get to do what he wants. 

[Bonnie and Kona]

I started to write a reply but after reading Jane's, I realize I completely concur. Your daughter gets to be her baby's protective mommy and if no licking/investigating is what she wants it will be gracious of you to accommodate her. The down/stay sounds like the right approach for Banjo and all involved. I hope you are getting to hold the baby a bit!

[Carol and Banjo]

I agree Bonnie.....she IS the Mommy! I had the pleasure of holding him much of the visit. It wasn't til after they left that I realized I'd lost my photo op. It was much like when I went to my children's school plays and dance recitals......I'd get so wrapped up in the moment, I didn't want to miss a thing by being preoccupied behind a camera.

[Bonnie and Kona]

So happy to hear your DD shared holding Aiden time with you!

[Camilla and Darwin]

I personally wouldn't push DD to allow any licking or sniffing if she isn't comfortable with it. Even if it won't harm him, he is still her baby and you don't want to create any conflicts or stress for her. My sister doesn't like dogs and I would never push her to let Darwin near her newborn, even if I know it would be totally fine. Simply because it's her choice and her baby, and nobody is required to like dogs near their babies. My nephews have gotten bigger now and are allowed to be around Darwin, he does great with them! Overall, I'd recommend honoring her wishes and being patient.

[Janice Hammond]

When our grandson was born 18 months ago Sadie our doodle was excited at first to meet him.Once she sniffed and licked a few times she just lost interest.Until a few months had passed and the baby was more exciting.Sadie then took up her new "mothering" role and sat beside him when he was at our home.She of course snuck in a few licks.She now follows this little guy everywhere and he loves to tease her with treats.

Kaden is alive and well and healthy after all of the licks.Don't be too distressed your daughter will be ok with Banjo's attention to the new baby very soon.

Fortunatley Kaden's mom and dad were ok with Sadie 's sniffs and licks.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

I'm sorry Carol. I know that many don't want to visit me and they don't have a baby.  Spud is over the top with excitement. I think I have worked on this more than any other command.  I've completely flunked. My other dogs were never this bad. But, those of us who really don't get that much company, it really is difficult.   And.. he won't give up either.  Ever. The longer I hold him back, the worse it gets.

So, I get this. But, to add an infant to the mix would be so difficult.

[Carol and Banjo]

Joanne, Typically when someone comes over Banjo greets them with a little jumping, my kids already know to tell him to sit and then they'll pet him and say their hellos and then he'll pick his favorite person to sit near for the rest of the visit. As soon as he gets his 'hello' pat he's fine. But, being restrained on a leash was just not fun for him or I. As soon as DD is willing, our visits will be fine...I think! I totally get what you mean about it getting worse when you have to hold him back....losing battle.