Labradoodle & Goldendoodle Forum
First I want to thank everyone who has been so supportive, always letting me know you care and asking about how Murph was doing. These past six weeks have been such a huge learning experience that I hardly know where to begin. You remember that I was resistive of putting him on the anti anxiety meds because I was so afraid that I would lose "my guy". I thought his "essence" would change and that felt wrong to me for some reason. What I have learned is that I never really knew who Murphy was...not really. We've been getting to know each other now and our relationship....his relationship with the entire family...is completely different. He is calm, not really sleepy anymore, just calm. He's not attached to me like glue....he doesn't need to be because he's not insecure and stressed every minute. He doesn't guard me or the house like before....the pacing is over. My son can actually come out of his room and freely walk around the house without me holding Murph so that he didn't charge him. DS even had a friend over this past weekend and Murph showed a little normal interest when he arrived and that was it....no sitting outside the bedroom door waiting to pounce. He's not guarding my bedroom door at night when I go to bed...he goes downstairs and stays with DH while he's watching TV.
One of the most amazing changes is the bond that has now developed between Guinness and Murphy. They now play like normal dogs....it's so awesome to watch. Murph gave up that whole dominance thing. I never realized how difficult life must have been for Guinness....always watching his back and making sure he had a place to escape to. They were at the Groomer this week and she even commented that she was amazed at how close they had become. I actually watched the other night as Murphy went into the toy box and took out a tennis ball....he brought it over to Guinness who was lying in his bed and dropped it for him...he wanted to play. Something like that would never have happened in the past.
We've made some huge progress on our walks too. I never put him in a position where he's uncomfortable, and he's now trusting me. When we see other dogs I watch his body language and if he stiffens at all we move farther away. We keep moving away until he relaxes and then he sits and I feed him treats while the dog passes. We're now at the point where we can get very close with absolutely no discomfort from Murph. Yesterday we were actually following about six feet behind a dog....I kept telling Murph to "look" and treating each time he did. He never got nervous. What I never realized before was that he really wasn't capable of learning how to follow commands around other dogs. He was scared to death and he displayed fear by becoming reactive and aggressive. No amount of correcting or treating would have worked when he was in this state. He wasn't capable of responding to my training at that point. By pushing him I was only making things worse. I feel bad about that, but we all make mistakes and move forward. I know that he's not "holding that against me"....he's trying to move forward and he's showing me how.
His program is more than just the meds. We've changed his whole exercise pattern. We did have to make adjustments because I wasn't able to get enough calories into him to compensate for what he was burning, and he lost quite a bit of weight. He's put two pounds back and I've reduced his exercise so that his weight can stabilize. We're past the whole "withholding affection"....although the Behaviorist said that we should always keep in mind that he should "earn" things like treats and affection.
So that's where we are....and it's a wonderful place. We're still on our journey but I have so much hope and confidence now.
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I second every word of this!
Yes, I agree!
Yes! Congratulations for all you have done for this big beautiful boy.
OMD, Carol....thank you so much! You've been here with Murph and I from the very beginning. I so appreciate that.
Bravo!!!!
Jane I am so happy for all of you I'm doing a happy dance!! Thanks goodness no one else is in the office LOL
Wow...that is pretty amazing. You deserve this awesome normalcy after all your hard work.
Thanks, Adina. I can't even believe he's the same guy. It always seemed so strange to me that he was so easy to train on things like heel, and his down/stays were amazing.....as long as there was no other dog around. Now I understand it. His training is far from over....we're "knee deep" in off leash....I just approach it differently.
I'm Speechless. That's a good thing
I've backspaced a lot. How do you write 'PEACE' out in words?
Maybe I could say more, but I can't right now. Just know I'm thinking of you so much. Ya, this one is a tear jerker
Thanks RJ....I'm seeing that "peace sign"....right back at you.
This is so amazingly wonderful! I am so happy for you and Murphy and everyone! Just wonderful.
Thanks, Camilla!
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