Help. My golden doodle is growling at my daughter

[Jen Conway]

Our Golden doodle will be 3 in February and has begun growling at Our 10 year old daughter, who gives him the most love (aside from me, the mom, of course).  A month back she reached down to give him a "little pick up" and he growled at her, she said, "Mom, did you hear that?" and then she pretended to
reach back down so I could hear it, which I did.  I told her he obviously didn't
feel like being picked up.  So, she got on her knees and was face to face with
him and said "Don't worry, I'm not going to pick you up" and she leaned in
to hug him around the neck.  He sort of snapped and starting attacking her, it was that horrible fierce sound of a dog attacking another dog.  Thankfully
I was right there and she was so close to the ground that she just screamed and
covered her head with her arms.  I put him in the garage for an hour so I could
tend to her and begun doing a lot of research.  I've had two trainers in since
we've had him, so I know the basics.  He continues to growl at her. Looking
back, I've heard him growl now and again over the course of us having him, but I
didn't think too much of it.  I just figured that was his way of saying beat
it.    He used to sleep on her bed and as of that day he is no longer allowed.  He has to sleep on one of his two beds outside of her room.   She just wants to pet
him and love him and he's being rather mean to her. As I said, she is the one that
loves him the most. Based on everything I read, he's what they call a
"social climber".  He doesn't want to be last in line in our family.  I took him
to the vet b/c I thought maybe he's sick and in pain and he did test
positive for a form of Lyme disease, but he's had the medicine and  is
continuing the behavior.  I have been teaching my daughter  that she needs to be more
assertive with him and give more commands etc, to  not pet him anymore (b/c that
is when he does it to her).  This all seems so ridiculous that she can't love
her dog.  Any advice? 

Thank you.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

I don't have time right now, but in the mean time, look up HUGGING. Search HUG, Hugging, etc.   Dogs think this is offensive and an act of aggression to them. 

Maybe others here can find the video, other discussions, etc.  But hugging is a  no no in dog speak

[AndySharon BoomerShaynaMariner]

I am sure others will chime in.  One thought is to have your daughter give him his meals and my other thought is to go back to the vet and have his blood work redone - there have been posts in the past of changes in dogs behaviour due to medical conditions.  Your daughters welfare is the number 1 concern.  Perhaps your daughter has done something that your doodle viewed as threatening.  Until you resolve the issue I would not leave your daughter alone with your doodle.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I agree with the others. Also it is a very bad idea to lean into a dog's face with yours unless you are positive that the dog will receive it well and not be threatened. At this stage your daughter needs to keep her face away from your doodle's face. I would give him a time out whenever he growls at anyone period. I think it is a very good idea to keep him off your daughter's bed. Perhaps he doesn't feel well but he still should not be allowed to get away with this behavior. That  said for now your daughter should give him space.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

What looks like "love" and affection to humans can look like very dominant, threatening behavior to dogs, and hugging around the neck or head is one of those behaviors. Even reaching out to pet a dog's head can look very threatening to many dogs. Most dogs also do not like to be picked up. I would make it a rule not to "hug", not to pick him up, not to lean over him, and to stroke his sides and chest, not his head or face.  Your dog may have tolerated these things when he was younger, but now that he's an adult, he apparently feels uncomfortable with them, and that's not unusual. I would hope that the two trainers you consulted would have been knowledgable about that and advised you accordingly, but just in case, here's some helpful info from Dr. Sophia Yin that you can review with your daughter:

http://drsophiayin.com/blog/entry/kids-and-dogs-how-kids-should-and...

http://drsophiayin.com/resources/video_full/dog-bite-prevention-how...

It isn't that your daughter can't love her dog, but that love has to be expressed in forms that don' t look threatening or dominant to a dog. Your daughter probably doesn't like it when someone squeezes her around the neck or grabs her when she doesn't feel like being grabbed, either. Hugs around the neck are for stuffed toys, not for dogs or most other living creatures. It will be helpful if you look at the illustrations and videos in the above links together.

Good luck.

 

[Jen Conway]

Thank you to those who have responded so far.  The two trainers sadly, didn't really educate us on this. The were here to help us with our dog pouncing on kids when they come over.   Our dog can be so very good, but a tad bit too spirited when we have guests and kids running around.  I have read about some of the the posts people suggested and will continue to do so.  It's helpful to be reminded of the ways a dog likes attention vs. a person. My aunt had three dogs and works at a dog shelter and also suggested having my daughter be the one to feed our dog and give more commands.  He's a very picky eater so food doesn't thrill him like most dogs, so I'm having my daughter do more treat based commands b/c what dog doesn't love a piece of cheese! 

Thank you.

[Adina P]

Like beauty, "LOVE" is also in the eye of the beholder--not just the heart of the giver.  Some people and dogs just aren't into being randomly snuggled, kissed, hugged on some else's timeline.  It's important that your daughter learn that just because SHE likes that kind of love doesn't mean all other creatures like that kind of love.  It's a fact of life.  Have you heard of "The 5 Love Languages"?  Granted it's a model for how to love others and it isn't about dogs, but you can explain it to your daughter in similar terms. 

Everybody is different.  Some people feel loved when they are hugged while other people aren't huggy touchy.  If someone doesn't like to be touched a lot, we have to respect that.  Your dog is not a person AND finds unrequested physical affection bothersome.  So she needs to respect that.  It doesn't mean that he is mean and it doesn't mean he doesn't like her.  He just doesn't like that kind of touching.

We teach dogs that jumping on people to knock them down with "love" is NOT okay...we have to teach humans that how WE like to give love isn't always how other people or dogs like to RECEIVE love.  Yes, there are dogs that are less sensitive to hugging and who don't seem to mind people putting their face to their face. 

Of course the respect has to go both ways.  Your daughter needs to be taught that her approach is bothering your dog and to learn other ways of interacting with him.  AND your dog needs to taught that an aggressive response is not okay.  But you can't train one and not the other because it's simply not fair to either of them to tolerate the other's bad behavior. 

I think teaching your daughter to train your dog and have a training relationship with him is a good idea.  Good luck!

[Adina P]

I don't know how close you are to these folks, but I found a recommendation for them on my training list.  I Have no experience with them, so you'd have to check them out yourself, but just in case:  http://www.fortunatek9.com/trainingservices.htm#groupclasses

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

I don't think ... well maybe this is NOT your situation but I never had a dog who growled until now. As a matter of fact, I had a dog who bit and could be dangerous,  but that dog never growled or made a sound.

So, my nicer dog, growls continually. He growls when he is alone playing with his toys. He growls when I put his collar on, he growls when I put his harness on, he growls when I wipe his feet. He growls if the cat tries to cuddle. His body is not tense, he just complains.  Grumble grumble. He is like an old man.  Harmless and cranky.  A chatty poodle personality.  He is noisy

But this does not sound like your situation

[J and Riley (and Luna)]

Luna is extremely chatty too.  She growls when she's happy we're home, she growls when we play, when she stretches before we put her leash on for a walk, when you scratch that "special" spot on her back... she growls when she's suspicious/guarding mode too though and it's a different sound.  

She has a "throaty" growl that is her "happy" growling sound and a much deeper, more threatening growl when she's in guard mode.

Jen - I hope you get this resolved soon.  It sounds like you are getting some great advice here!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

All this sounds like "warning behavior".  Your dog is sending a message that he does not like what's happening to him.  Hugging and being carried around is totally "foreign" to a dog....it's just doesn't happen in their world.  In my opinion many dogs would not like this and view it as threatening.  I'm wondering who is his "leader" in the household.  If it's you, then you need to show him what is expected....and growling at a human is not acceptable.  He needs to be firmly corrected so that he understands that you (as the leader) will take care of the situation, not him.  I would definitely look for a trainer/behaviorist to work with both you and your daughter.  You need to teach your daughter the right way to love her dog, and the right trainer will be able to help you with this.  I'm also concerned about the Lyme disease.  What did the vet say about pain....do you think he has been in pain?  That's a key factor here too. 

[barbara musser]

Me too...my labradoodle, bodhi , just turned three, started growling at me when I would go to pet,hug him when he was sitting next to my husband...his nose actually started twitching as If he was going to bite...very alarming as I am the main caregiver. My husband immediately made him go to his dog bed...same thing tonight, but if I started playing fetch with him he immediately reverted to his playful self...I am more heartbroken than any thing else but am reluctant to start any kind of behavioral training (costly I am sure) and I am not sure about this Lyme disease connection...please keep this thread going so we can resolve this issue and get our "perfect" dog back...good luck and keep in touch...thanks, Barbara