please help

[Johanna Carolus]

I adoppted a goldendoodle in november. he was very shy when we brought him home. i thought he would out grow which he has kinda but not much. he prefers to keep to himself. he sleeps in the shower or kitchen floor. he will play catch inside but not outside, if we are outside he ignores al people and stays to himself. is this normal?

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Hi Johanna. Can you tell us more about your goldendoodle? How old is he now? Did you adopt him through a rescue group or shelter? Did they have any information about his background?

[Johanna Carolus]

he is 7 months now. and i got him off of craigslist. and i dont know much about his background. he was 12 weeks old when i got him though.

[Johanna Carolus]

ive tried everything to get him to bond with the family. he will lay on the cuch but soon as someone sits on it he will go in the other room.

[My Perfect Doodle Daisy]

How old is he? If he is fully vetted you may want to take him to some Puppy Kindergarten classes. Are you exposing him to other people? Taking him for walks outside of your area?

My Daisy also was very shy, we enrolled her in puppy classes as soon as she was fully vetted. She was frightened at first but with training (& high value treats) she came around. She is still very cautious, doesn't like new environments but she is social with people and some other dogs now. She will always be a bit timid but that is just in her character.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

It sounds as if your puppy is severely undersocialized. This is often the case with dogs from puppy mills. What was the reason that the person who gave him up didn't want him?

Your first step should be to take him to the vet for a thorough check-up, to be sure there are isn't some health issue that is causing him to be so withdrawn. This is not normal behavior for any puppy, but particularly for a goldendoodle, it may indicate a health issue. The behavior is not unusual for adult puppy mill dogs, but for a 12 week old puppy, it's worrisome.

 If everything checks out, I would then ask for references to a good trainer or behaviorist in your area who has a lot of experience with very shy, undersocialized dogs.

If you have young children, and the fairly noisy, chaotic type of household that usually goes along with a young active family, it's possbile that is also contributing to his reluctance to "bond" with the family. Have your children been instructed in the proper ways to interact with a dog? No hugging, grabbing, lifting, etc? The kinds of behaviors that seem affectionate to humans, as well as children running at him or shrieking, can be very frightening and overwhelming for a puppy, especially one who has not been handled much or socialized with children.

[Johanna Carolus]

i have took him for his shots but never talked to the vet about his behavior, I do have kids, youngest is a 2 year old. She does hug him. The kids do get loud but when then run around he normally comes in to see whats going around, he will play and chase the kids but soon as thats done he returns to the shower or kitchen.

[Adina P]

Was this puppy sold to you by someone who had bred a litter and was selling pups...or by someone who bought a puppy and changed their mind a few weeks later? 

Once he's been cleared of any health issues, I fully support the idea of a good training program.  People usually think to train their dog only if the dog has a behavior problem they want to fix.  But the process of training and all the practice and work you two do together for training does GREAT things for the dog-person relationship!  By being forced to work together and rely on each other and communicate clearly, most dogs can't help but bond to their person.  I know trainers who have trained essentially feral dogs and had very good outcomes.  Your pup is hardly feral, so would be a much easier dog to bond with.

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

I'll add my vote for training and socialization. During the period of time that Sedona was in her puppy training classes, the trainer asked us to try to expose Sedona to at least 100 different people. She even suggested having "Come Meet Sedona" parties to more easily get to 100.

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

Great advice here!  I'm glad you have turned to DK for support.  Please let us know about your puppy, after the vet visit.  I hope things get better!

[BG and Gavin]

You can do some training right in you house.  Put his leash on and walk him around the house with you during your daily routine.  Better yet you can tether him to you and go on about your daily routine.  Have him do sits and downs randomly and treat as you go.  Having him follow you and rely on you will hopefully accelerate the bonding process.

[Lori (Wilson and Woody's Mum)]

Woody was VERY shut down when we brought him home.  He was a rehome, rehome, rescue.  He had had three homes before us and had spent 28 days in a shelter, where he was two days from being put down.  He didn't know how to play with toys; he wasn't interested in interacting with us or our other dog and spent a lot of time in his crate.  I wasn't prepared for this.  Wilson is such a goofy, outgoing charmer.  I have always suspected Woody wasn't socialized at all or was perhaps a puppy mill dog.  It took at least 60 days before he stopped hiding all the time.  But honestly it was 6 months before *I* started to bond with him.  I felt like I was just a caregiver.  It was about a year before I felt he was starting to really settle in and another year before I saw his TRUE personality --- which is now a goofy, funny, playful sort.  He still likes his crate, he will only play fetch indoors and outdoors he is focused on "hunting" and other things.  I have worked hard to get/keep his attention outside.    

I suggest a class with a reputable trainer, but will tell you, Woody was even more shut down in the class.  He would not come out from under my chair the entire time.  He didn't really participate BUT he was the best behaved in the class.  :)

Do you have friends with dog(s) you could have play dates with?  I really credit Wilson for bringing Woody out.  I think he helped Woody find his confidence.  I also offered treats for "behavior" I liked --- interacting with us, guests; lying in the room with us; any attention he would give outside.  If I caught him lying in the living room, I would go over, pet him a bit and offer a treat or two and then walk away.  I tried to let him come to us on his terms.  

All of this has paid off, but it took longer than I expected. 

[Johanna Carolus]

wow that sounds just like my kobey. i feel like we are not bonding and that we never will. But I am not one to give up on him easily. I was worried he just didnt like my family and considered rehoming him, but just couldnt bring myself to do it. My 2 yr old daughter is very attached to him and talks about him to EVERYONE we see, even in the grocery store. Lol. the vet says hes fine. So I will try some training classes, and try out some dog parks. i thank everyone for there advice and will keep you all updated