Need advice on an awkward situation...

[Melissa Hazlip]

All during the wait to bring Luna home I confirmed multiple times with our breeder that Luna was a standard size doodle. I told her multiple times we wanted a big dog, and asked her to clarify because her website said "mini medium" on one part of her litter, but standard on the other.

She told me many times they were full size doodles.

Yesterday, I saw her comment on another litter mates parents facebook page about how their litter was mini medium. My husband and I are both confused on what to do. Obviously, we aren't going to give Luna up, we have had her since December and everyone has started to bond. However, we are also a little disappointed because she wont grow to be the size we just paid a lot of money for.

Do I even bother talking to the breeder, who is a friend? I feel like it's not going to change anything, and yet my frustration at knowing we just paid for her and our breeder didn't listen is also bothering me.

I am not sure what the right thing to do is.

Thanks!

[Suzanne Newman]

Hi Melissa- 

I believe always in up front, and open communication.  I would paste the text that I found of what she said and tell her:

Hi Friend-

I saw this posting that you shared about your dogs.  In finding this out, I am disappointed that I was lied to in asking you multiple times about the size of how big Luna will get.  The good news is that no, of course we are not giving Luna up, but the bad news is that I learned something about your lack of integrity today. 

I would then drop it.  Move on.  love your sweet Luna, and let go of the angst.  

Hope that helps!!

Suzanne

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Awesome note Suzanne!

[Adina P]

Do you know for sure what size her parents were?

[Megan York]

Yikes, that is a tricky situation. In my opinion, how I handled it would just come down to how good of friends I am with this person. However, how Suzanne mentioned handling it is probably best. Mention it and then drop it. I just hate being lied to! I totally get your frustration.

Did she tell you anything about Luna's parents size? Or did you ever see her parents? That would be a good indication on what size your pup would be. 

[Julie and Charlie]

Using words like "lie" and "lack of integrity" might end your friendship, especially if it's in writing. If you're OK with that, that's fine.  I think two parties are responsible for this, you and the breeder. First, you need to do your homework on general parent size, and what the breeder specializes in-- how big are most of her adult dogs.

I would let it go. What's it going to change?

[Jules and Zoey]

That's a tough one, that's my thought, did you know the weight of the parents? Maybe Luna will end up with more of the standard genes and be bigger than you think! Curious how old she is, and her current weight?

I would definitly say something or it will always bug you, at least it would for me! Sounds like it was more of a miscommunication issue, if you let the breeder know, she/he might clear things up sns not make the same mistakes in her discriptions!

[Vivian & Mojo]

I would be very upset if I was lied to and question the so called friendship. A question to ask yourself is do you want to continue the so called friendship or forgive and forget. I also think when buying a puppy the buyer should see the parents, for size and to see the personality and health in general. If the breeder won't allow that than I would find another breeder.

If it were me in your situation I would send Suzanne's letter but omit the part about being lied to and lack of integrity because if you copy past the breeders text about the fact that their litter was mini medium, the lie and lack of integrity will be obvious without your stating it. I would add to the letter..."What is going on here"  A letter would give closure to the ordeal so you can move on.

In any event you now have Luna and love her and no matter what the breeder does or says won't change that.

I wish you and your family and Luna the best.

[Sheila & Finnley]

I agree with Vivian totally ! Horray for Jen and her research, guess it could have been a better situation if you had been told this before, or had seen it before. No matter, you have Luna... she is beautiful..... you love her and she loves you, and that is that ! :)

When the time is right, you will know, and that is how you become a two doodle family !

Bring on the big doodle !!  :)

[Diane, Hurley and Sidney]

I agree with Suzanne in your asking about the posting for your own peace of mind.  Only thing I would probably do is take a little softer approach to initially keep the exchange non-confrontational because maybe there is a chance that she breeds more than one size unless I missed something.  Depending on if you want to keep the friendship how you word your query can make a lot of difference.

Perhaps express confusion and puzzlement at the posting about her dogs because you and your husband were very clear that you wanted a standard size labradoodle and are now wondering as to how forthright she was about Luna's potential size or is that she breeds different size labradoodles. Then ask her for clarification on Luna's eventual size.  

 

[Suzanne Newman]

You guys are right!  I guess a softer approach would be better.  I do however feel it needs to be spoken to.  But for me, calling her on her lack of integrity with me is the bigger issue.  If this person is a "friend", then that is where the biggest issue would be for me.  I would not pussy foot around it.. but yes, you are right to soften it a bit. 

[Bonne Bouche]

How big is Luna now? How old is she? She doesn't look that small... Doodles are all different sizes and even the most experienced breeders cant guarantee the full size of their doodles in all cases. BB was about 15 lbs at 10 weeks. He's now 60lbs. Adina's got the best question, what size are the parents? That should be the best clue you've got.

[Gwyndolyn Morasko]

This leaves me with a lot of questions....is your friend a known, reputable breeder, or did she/he just breed one of her own doodles and is trying to make some extra money?  I ask this because the comment "full size doodles" could mean different things to different doodle parents if she is not experienced.  I can't even imagine the breeder I used mixing up "standard" and "mini/medium".  I used a Montana breeder (I live in LA) because of her reputation, my many phone calls, and the many many photos of both the parents of the pups and twice weekly update photos of the pups as they were growing.  (And I had family members who got pups from her before and met them all in person).  So your "friend's" dishonesty might be inexperience.  

How old is your pup?  How much does she weigh?  How much did she weigh at 8 weeks old vs. 12 weeks?  Have you met  both of Luna's parents?  What size were each of them?  

I would definitely approach your friend and ask to clarify exactly which of her breeding parents are Luna's parents because you got a little nervous when you saw her facebook post about a litter mate being a mini/medium.  This will give your friend/breeder a chance to be honest and redeem themselves.  If she is a reputable breeder, she will admit her mistake and refund your money for her mistake.  There were many contract clauses I signed when I got my pup, and they all included agreements that included partial to full refunds, or a new pup from a future litter, or choices to keep the pup but receive 50% refund and vet bills covered up to  2 years if the health was not as promised....etc, etc, etc.  What kind of clauses did you sign in your contract?  A reputable breeder would at least give you 50% refund if you decide to keep the pup that was wrongly advertised, or a full refund if they take it back and find a new home for it.