Oh my goodness! Tearing my hair out.

[Leanne]

So Arthur is awesome.  He's gentle, happy, cuddly and playful.  But he's got serious separation anxiety :(

We've had our 11 week pup for 5 days so far and as each day has shown a great step in confidence for him coming out of his shell & settling in, but it also brings worsened anxiety.

I can't leave his side for a minute without him barking/howling/screaming.

Last night he barked in his crate all night.  Hubby had to miss work today because he has had zilch sleep.  I've done EVERY trick in the book to make his crate welcoming.  I've tried ignoring him, i've tried taking him for a pee in the night (he just lies on the ground and goes to sleep) and i've tried covering the crate and music and you name it, i've tried it.  I had to give in in the end at 4am because our neighbours could hear him barking and he woke the kids up who had school today.

Two days on the trot, upon returning home from the school run, i've had to bath the little fella because he has pooped in his crate so bad, it's made its way up the bars, outside of the crate onto the floor and all over Arthur (even up his nose!) I'm worried that this is going to be bad for his skin and fur but I've had no choice but to thoroughly bathe him.

He didn't do this the first few days.  He'd been dry both of the first couple nights in the morning (where he only barked for 20 minutes before giving up and sleeping for the night).  He was crate trained before we picked him up as well.

Through all of this, I've not punished him or told him off or anything.  I've ignored the bad behaviour and praised the good.  He does do his first morning business outside which is FAB but the rest of the day is anywhere and everywhere and if I grab him up and pop him in the chosen area when he's about to go, I stop the process for about an hour and then when I'm not looking he does it somewhere else.

I actually don't know what to do regarding the anxiety.  I have an open plan kitchen/dining room and have a baby gate fixed between the two and even though he can see me and he has tons of space, a bed, toys, food and water, he just sits at the gate crying at me.  I pop him there after eating for an hour with the garden door open so he can pop in and out and do his business.  I've NEVER let the gate open whilst he's crying and only allowed this once he settles for a few moments.  

Once his vaccines are complete (got his last coming up) I can take him on the school walk with me, but for now, I'm having to spend an hour and a half after picking the kids up cleaning out his crate, bathing him and scrubbing the surrounding carpet after being away for literally 20 minutes.

What am I going to do when I have to go out for a longer period and I can't take him with me?  

Thanks for reading.  I have serious puppy blues today :(

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Have you tried the Snuggle Puppy?
Your pup is scared and lonely. It has spent all its life, minus 5 days, snugged tight and secure with Moma and all it's siblings, now alone at night in a crate.
Place a cat carrier on a chair next to you by the bed so this pup can smell and see you. Place it right next to your pillow! In 3 weeks the pup will have already outgrown the cat carrier and be beyond some if the insecurities.
Get a baby carrier - a papoose. Keep the pup up next to your heartbeat as you go about your day.
Try to have this pup feel secure right now with hopes that if it passes this infancy stage feeling secure, it will have a better chance if not having these issues as an adult.
Introduction of a crate for your puppy may need to be just a little slower than other pups. I truly believe, you can't spoil a newborn. I'm not for tough love ( crates) at this age. Start slower and keep this pup with you at all times as a pack

[Leanne]

Hi Joanna. Lovely reply. Thank you.  This is how I'd like it to be, but until he is vaccinated, I have to leave him alone twice a day on the school walk :(  What can I do during this time?  He is constantly in my arms during the day and he's truly the best cuddler.  I'm just so worried he'll eat something bad or chew electrical wires or something overnight when I'm sleeping.  Last night after i released him, he stayed with me for the few hours we slept and he was fine.  But would he be if he comes to bed with me at a normal bedtime or will he get bored in the early hurs and get into things that could be dangerous?  Feel so helpless right now :( 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Is the crate in your bedroom? If not, that will help a lot. This puppy has never slept alone, and dogs always want to be near their pack. 

I'd also take a stool specimen to the vet; it's very common for doodle puppies to come home with giardia, and the pooping in the crate might be an indication of that. It's always a good idea to have a new puppy checked out by the vet as soon as you get him, anyway.

[Leanne]

He's been vet checked (day 1) and all is fine but they never requested a stool sample? What is giardia? He was sleeping alone for two weeks before we had him (got him at 11 weeks, last of the litter) bu

[Lynda Kamrath]

Yes, he just wants to be with you and he is letting you know.  And you and your husband are letting him know that it will get him what he wants.  Don't give in!  You need to get him trained before he gets you trained.  He is pooping because it gets some attention from you.  You have a spoiled child to deal with.

I'll tell what I do, and many people don't like it, but here it is anyway.  I personally do not like crates and will not have one in my house.  However, baby playpens are great little dog trainers.  I leave the crate in the car and puppies need to ride in the crate when in the car until they are either too big for the crate or are car trained.

So....house training.  When I get a new puppy I get a baby playpen.  Sometimes I can find just what I want at a child's second hand store (commissioned stores are the best).  My first doodle had this great playpen with a vibrator and music.  It was his home until he was totally house trained.  Whenever he was in the house, he was in the playpen.  The only time he was out of the playpen was when he was ACTIVELY supervised.  I always carried him everywhere when he was out of the playpen and at night time I would put him in the playpen, turn on the music and vibrator and say "Night, night". Maybe once during the night I would walk out, pick him up, play with him a little and take him outside to his potty spot and say "Go pee pee", and he would.  Back inside and back into the playpen.  He cried a little the first night, but never after that.  We definitely ignored barking and crying.  In the morning, carried outside and told to go pee pee in his spot and he did.  He was house trained within a few months but probably had the crib for about six months.  Then he was free in the house and slept where ever he wanted.  He would only get on the bed at night if I was sick or he was sick.  Our dogs always get on the bed in the morning for coffee (ours) and scratches.

Car trained.  I got a car for our dogs when we decided we would always have two.  Hondo used to ride shotgun in my little sports car and he loved that.  However, when we got the second doodle, I bought a Ford Freestyle and my husband set it up for the dogs.  It has liners on three sides and a bed liner for a pickup truck in the back.  The plastic bed liner cleans up easily after trips to the beach or walks.  For longer rides, we have fleece-covered pads that fit in the back of the car.  We have been on many long trips and the dogs are fine as long as we stop frequently and take them for little walks.  It takes a little longer, but what the heck.

After our initial training, we have never had problems in the house or in the car.  Our guys and welcome members of the family and can be left at home (inside or out).  They know we will always be back.  My suggestion to you is to get that puppy trained before he becomes impossible to deal with.  You will be happier and he will be happier.  Good luck.

[Leanne]

Well that's the plan, to get him trained.  But this is where I'm struggling lol.  I'm not sure I agree that I have a spoiled child to deal with.  You say he's pooing in his crate for attention when I pick the kids up but how am I giving him attention when I'm not even there?  When I get home, I have no choice but to bath him and trust me, this mummy does not coo and aww him during this time :(

I like the idea of a playpen, but technically, he has this in the form of the kitchen area that's babygated.  He behaves the same in this environment as he does in his crate at night if I am not on the same side of the gate as him.  I have left him for an hour barking and only let him into the rest of the house after he stops.  

As for the car, I don't drive so can't even take him in a car with me to get the kids.  I'd ideally like to have no crate at all.  I'm not bothered about accidents in the bedroom.  I can clean up easily enough.  The issue I have is worrying that he'll hurt himself.

Thanks Lynda for great advice.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

If your crate is small enough for training- no room to move around- only lying down and standing but he is still pooping do get a sample.
I still say take him with you, just don't place him on the ground.
I'm not one for pens because I think it's hard ( impossible) to potty train in a pen with areas to move around. They are great for after they potty outside, then place them in there for a SAFE area to play.
In there for brief periods of time but they are useless for potty training

[Heather Martinez]

Teddy absolutely hated to be gated away from us at this age too. We had a pen that he was fine in when we left the house (I came back and listened at the door and no barking), but he refused to be in this pen when we were home. He also hated it when we left the room and he couldn't see us. It took him a long time to get over this, but he did as he got older. What we did instead of gating him was put a harness on him and attach his leash and tie the leash to a safe place in whatever room we were in. We would put his bed there and some toys. He was fine and able to play safely and see us in the room. We also gave him things like a bully stick or a frozen kong with treats to keep him busy while being tethered to his area. Teddy was tethered most of the time when we were home until he was 10 months old to keep him safe, other than when we were playing with him, cuddling or training him. When we were not home he was safe in his pen.

Teddy did not sleep through the night in his crate until 13 weeks when he started puppy classes and got exhausted enough! We started out keeping the crate in our room and gradually moved it out into the hall, into the room next door and finally into the living room where we wanted him to sleep. After 6 months he started sleeping in his pen (he was house broken by 4 months).

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Typing from my phone - typos above - its it's ect. I also can't reply below your answer.
Papoose the puppy on your school walk- Parvovirus is in the ground. But taking the pup with you socializes him! Just keep him in your arms. This will be good for him.
DO-get a stool sample right away as Karen and Jack mentions
Never let him wander alone. Way too dangerous. Do get that cat carrier ( as a seperat sleeping crate) stick you fingers in the crate if you hear him stir. He just needs to know you are there. Keep crate right by your pillow

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Don't give up on crate training!!! Its a must at least for the first year! Just start slower and keep a sleeping crate in your room.

[Adrienne]

I totally agree with Sandy regarding the separation anxiety.  My last dog had a terrible case of separation anxiety and would poop in his crate as well.  We resolved this issue by leaving him in his crate at short intervals, then gradually increasing the time.  This was not an overnight fix but we stuck with it and eventually he was able to stay home alone without any issues.  We also found that, once he was potty trained, he did better having free reign of the home.  He never left his pillow and would sleep the entire time that we were away.  (We tried leaving treats, etc. but he would not touch it until we returned.)  However, if you closed him off in a room or gated him into a certain area, he would shred his pillow or anything else that he could get his mouth on.  That was an expensive lesson.

Regarding the crate training, I would also second the Snuggle Puppy and putting the crate in your bedroom or camping out with your pup in the room where you'd like him to sleep.  I currently sleep on the sofa, beside Dougie's crate, in our family room.  (I slept with the Snuggle Puppy for 2 nights so that it would have my scent...I did not use the warming pouch nor the heart (for the heart beat) but he loved it all the same).  I ignore him unless I feel that he has to go outside to relieve himself...he will usually jump up and paw the crate when he has to go.  

Also, I do not believe in setting up wee pads, etc. in the house.  I do not want Dougie to even think that it is ever OK to pee/poop indoors.  Having said that, we make sure that he goes out after waking up in the morning and/or after naps and after eating.  He now scratches the door when he wants to go outside.

I know that it is rough right now but it will get better.  Don't give up.

[a.k.a. Rodney]

There are 2 people that during my last few months of the trying times of puppy training..I have listened to and never gotten bad advise...one is Joane/Spud & the other Karen/jack...most everyone has been helpful, but these 2 have always responded with classic, sensible & experienced sound advise.
Joanne's advise above is spot on as far as i am Concerned.
I used a smaller plastic kennel in beginning, by my bed..DerbyDoodle did not like crate immediately...in less than 2 wks TRANSISTS to one...very easily & loves hers still...it's her refuge, her little room, her safe , secure place.
On a trip we used a pak/play for kids when grands came to visit..this way she could slightly interact with them.but .not be wild & not stuck in closed off & small crate. BTW, DerbyDoodle never ever liked a pen, but enjoyed the pak/play...go figure ??? I love the idea of the Ergo ( think that's the name of papoose type "child schlepper" I
wish I had been told that earlier. Very clever especially for your situation.she was tethered to me or a door etc a lot in the very early months. Always in her crate if I was not able to have eyes on her. A leash is still on her all the time unless I leave her in the large kitchen area if I leave.going thru the first 4-5 mo there were times I could have really questioned why I did this after signing on to Medicare, BUT now that her intell buttons have kicked in.. I can tell you...be sure you have a good plan, stay on it, & get some puppy classes or a good trainer... And things do improve!!
Good Luck...my 5.5 mo just had 2 fabulous puppy days back to back and it feels so rewarding & uplifting to know we are making progress!!
Best advise I was told by my trainer was IGNORE bad behavior...whatever you deem that to be
Structure, discipline, consistency...so much like child rearing...and how I ran my classroom...it works!! But dogs are more difficult than children at times & other times not!