Labradoodle & Goldendoodle Forum
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A wagging tail does not necessarily mean that a dog is being friendly. There are different kinds of "wags", and some of them indicate that a dog is being dominant and may even indicate impending aggression. Here is some info on how to "read" a dog's tail wagging:
http://puppies.about.com/od/BehaviorProblems/a/Tail-Wagging-How-To-...
http://dogtalk101.blogspot.com/2010/06/what-does-wagging-tail-mean....
The growling when the other dog approaches you is resource guarding, and you are the resource. Bentley is saying to Pilot
"This is my mom. Stay away" much as he might if Pilot tried to sniff a bone that Bentley was chewing.
I would not allow Bentley to "own" you in this way. You own him, not the other way around. Resource guarding is resource guarding, whether the resource is a bone, a toy, or a person. A dog should not be allowed to believe that he "owns" anything. This is something that we have discussed in The Training group, and you'll find some good info on it there.
These are all things that can be worked on with training and exposure to other dogs. Almost any dog is "able" to live with other dogs, if the owner is committed to making it work, but it can sometimes take a lot of time and a lot of work. Not all dogs enjoy sharing their space and their pack with another dog. Sometimes the best you can hope for is peaceful co-existence.
Most adult dogs will also accept a young puppy more easily than they will accept an adult dog.
I agree with Karen about the wagging tail. It is only telling your that Bentley is stimulated. It's not necessarily a positive sign. Take it slow with Pilot. Try to let them spend some time outside together - the bigger the space, the better. If you can meet on neutral territory, that would be best. But the bigger space, gives Bentley a chance to retreat if he needs to. Since he is not used to other dogs, he may just start out with a bit of sniffing. It could take awhile before he wants to engage Pilot in play.
Since he is young, I think he has a good chance of learning to socialize with other dogs. When we added a puppy to our pack, the two older dogs were not too happy at first. I was surprised because they really enjoy play dates and dog parks. I guess they knew the pup was staying right from the first moment.
I agree with Karen. When my husband (then boyfriend) brought home an 11 month old labradoodle, his 10 year old border collie wanted NOTHING to do with her. His border collie was definitely an alpha dog with other dogs (though very good with people. She was not a domineering kind of alpha, just obviously the top dog. Never started fights or anything. Well...with dog #2, she made it known she did not like her. They would spend a considerable amount of time barking at each other, walking around each other, hip checking each other. It was worrisome (to me, the not-too-dog-savvy person at the time), but Clark was sure they'd work it out. They did. Luckily, Cass, the border collie, was not an aggressive dog, just very unaccepting of Thule. After a couple of weeks, Cass chilled out and accepted Thule, but because of her age, they never played together, just co-existed peacefully.
If Bentley is guarding you and he's never had real earnest obedience training, then that alone may make a tremendous difference. If he looks to you as the leader/master and obeyed commands from you, then it is unlikely he'll continue to so barky--at least he would quit if you told him to. In the meantime, I would not put a guest dog in my lap and really stress dog #1 out so much. He doesn't know how else to handle it. Train Bentley and you should be able to get a second dog.
You mention that you didn't do a great job socializing Bentley, but he's only two so there's still plenty of time to do that. Some of what you're describing is socialization but most of it is "guarding behavior" as Karen said. I agree, no visiting dogs should be in your lap....that's a coveted place that puts the dog is a dominant position over your dog and begs trouble. I would always correct barking and "showing teeth". That's unacceptable behavior and he needs to know that. One thing that I really think will help with your visiting dog is to walk them together....the outdoors is neutral territory and it is such a natural thing for dogs to walk together. I do think it's important to keep them focused and not excited or pulling while they're walking, but it can do wonders to foster a relationship between the two of them. He has not yet demonstrated actual aggression, so I really think it's all a matter of leadership and training at this point. With a little work, I really think he'd be fine with another dog.
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