Help with aggressive, unaffectionate puppy?

[Joanna & Maya]

Hi everyone :)

I have a 5 month old miniature goldendoodle puppy. She is nothing like what we were expecting. She hates being touched, will back away if we try to pet her, doesn't cuddle...if we try to put her on the sofa with us she jumps to the floor. she's really aggressive...bites us like mad and only bites harder when we yell NO or hit her snout/spray water. we've had her since she was 8 weeks old and have been consistently training her EVERY DAY, but NOTHING. she still jumps on furniture, attacks our socks, steals stuff from the coffee table etc. 

when we bought her we thought she'd be an affectionate, cuddly, friendly girl...but she's the complete opposite. it's making us sad, and we're starting to lose hope. have any of you had this problem? do you think she'll change or is this just her personality? i don't understand why she's like this. 

[Alissa Edwards]

I just wanted to say I'm sorry that you're having these problems, I don't have any advice for you but I hope you can find a solution for your puppy and your family.

Everyone here is super helpful I'm sure someone will have ideas.

[Joanna & Maya]

Thanks Alissa :)

[Julie and Max]

Where did you get her? Yelling at and hitting your puppy won't help her to become more affectionate, those things actually cause aggression and mistrust in a dog. Try to stay calm, even if she's misbehaving, it's not always easy but in the long run it's worth it.

For the biting and nipping, time outs work really well, just leave her in a room alone until she calms down. You can also try yelping like a puppy when she bites you (puppy nipping is pretty normal though).

For the affection, I would try sitting on the floor near her, just calmly, not talking, and just have little tiny pea size treats of whatever is her favourite thing. At first I would just feed her treats, until she's closer, then pet her and treat her, until she associates the petting with good things, and you with good things. I also think some dogs are just not really cuddlers and she may never want to sit in your lap and cuddle, but you should be able to get her to be more affectionate. 

[Joanna & Maya]

I got her from a breeder in Florence, Ontario. Thanks, I won't yell or hit any more. I just tried telling her to 'sit' when she was attacking my hand and it worked, so I praised her. Hope I'm onto something :)

[Donna K & Quincy]

Joanna, What you are experiencing may not be agression just bad puppy behaviour. I swear I thought Quincy was possessed when he was a puppy. I had more clothes with holes in them and at times he even scared me a little. As for affection, not all dogs like to cuddle and I've heard many doodle owners say that their doodles became more cuddly as they got older. Have you crate trained your puppy? Puppies tend to get out of control when they are tired or over excited and a time out made be needed so they can settle down. Doodles are thieves and seem to really have a penchant for socks and paper. There have been lots of discussions about these behaviours and if you do a search using the box in the upper right corner of the page you should find lots of good tips.

If what you're doing isn't working it may be time to rethink your training style and implementing the nothing in life is free policy might be a good place to start. Also tethering her to you so that she has to go where you go also is a good training exercise as well as good bonding time. 

Here is a link to an article on the Nothing in Life is Free approach. It was recommended by one of our trusted members in the Training group. The Puppy Madness group and the Training group are both valuable resources.

http://sonic.net/~cdlcruz/GPCC/library/alpha.htm

[F, Calla & Luca]

I could not agree more. What good advice.

[Joanna & Maya]

Thank you! I hope it's not aggression. She gets these random bursts of rage where she'll attack my clothes and hands and just pull as hard as she can. I can relate to the holes in clothes and socks...and my hands haha I have so many scratches customers at work ask what happened. I will check out that approach, thank you!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Luca did this regularly. I never thought he was enraged but merely crazy.  Until I learned to give him a time out it was beyond aggravating. He did this for months. I got Calla at 4 months and she was much easier but I suppose her breeder was more experienced and her mom had lots of time to teach her good manners.

[Kyoko]

My Charlie did this when she was a puppy as well. Those puppy teeth were sharp and painful. I also had pajama pants ripped at the bottom... LOL.

[Rosemary (Ro) and Enzo]

I would agree. She sounds like a typical 5 month old puppy who needs correction and to learn what is and what is not acceptable.

[Jennifer and Jack]

Oh gosh, I am so, sorry you are not having a smooth transition.  That can be so disappointing when you have all your hopes and idea of what it is going to be like dashed by something that isn't.

Puppies are little babies…. They don't know what is expected of them yet.. They don't have your words and communication down yet.  What they learn the first few weeks home is so essential to setting up a good and happy life for them.

Puppies when they are with their litter mates bite the mess out of each other…. they do that for play and it is actually a way they learn bite inhibition ….. but when you get them they still have not learned it yet so they get excited and they want to play.. remember to them playing is nipping … Jack used to latch on to my night gown when I woke up in the morning he was so excited he couldn't contain himself….

It hurt when he bit but I knew that he was trying to learn to communicate with me….. One thing I learned was never ever use your hands in anger to a puppy ever… They will always wonder after that if your hand is reaching down to pet them or smack their nuzzle…. they won't ever forget being knocked in the nose…..

I am sure you have a sweet puppy, I am sure you have a puppy that wants to please you and do right by you….. I am sure you want to love this puppy too…. Sometimes it is understanding where the puppy is at.. if you are mad at the puppy and or stressed out .. that puppy is going to pick up the energy so so fast and act on it...

Puppies need a lot of not just training at this age but also outlets to get their energy out…. lots of toys.. Jack has a million toys, I will be happy to mail you some if you want.. they need to play, run, be loved and taught with a firmness but in love what the boundaries are in the house.

If you put the puppy on the sofa with you and it is full of energy it isn't going to want to snuggle .. it is going to want to run around.. they call it the puppy zoomies… they just go crazy….

Jack had a play pen he went into when I needed a break, it was never a punishment it was just a safe place where he couldn't get into anything, he had plenty of toys to chew on and I could get some stuff done with out little sharp needle teeth getting my legs…...

Try to relax and try to be calm around the dog…. join puppy madness on here and you will see you don't have a monster puppy… just a normal puppy learning the rules…. you have a long road ahead of you to go.. puppies need consistency, love, training, and clear rules and they need to feel safe.

I know you said you don't understand why she is like this, she probably doesn't understand what she is doing wrong and wonders why you are tapping her nose or so stressed…… 

I think it is normal puppy behavior too… and I hate for you to waste these precious weeks when you all can be bonding and learning each others personalities, so take a deep breathe….. see the dog your visioned in your head??  Put it on a shelf for now….. There is no such thing as a well behaved puppy really… They all get into things, they all bite… they are jump up on you.. they all do it… but if you take the time to invest in them properly,train them in LOVE, when you feel like you are losing it.. put the puppy in a safe place….. and breathe…. get support, know you are not alone….

A well behaved dog comes with time…. Try to see this precious little girl for who she is….. don't try to make her who you want, yes you are in charge, but find something you love about her.. maybe the way she sleeps… something you love and keep that picture in your head.. it will help you through the tough times.

Have you ever had a puppy before?? Jack is my first, he is going to be five in March, I can hardly believe it….. Jack didn't want to snuggle as a baby.. he wanted to go go go go and see and chew and bite and play and pass out asleep and start over again…… 

Now at five after several training classes, he isn't perfect but he is the perfect dog for me and he sleeps in my arms at night…. he is my best friend……. 

We will all help you… we all know what it is like to have a puppy chomp on us.. I remember standing on my sofa saying what did I get myself into… Why did I get a dog…. what was I thinking… when you are in the thick of it it is hard to see the light.. but take it from people who have gone through it.. so worth it .

Join puppy madness and let all of us support you and your sweet girl…. I will pray you fall in love with her and see her cuteness ….and that you learn to coexist well

[Joanna & Maya]

Thanks for the advice, you're so kind! Maya has TONS of toys...still prefers cardboard, socks and weirdly enough hair brushes lol. She also sneaks tissues out of the kleenex box on the table one at a time, which is pretty funny. i've had a miniature schnauzer before and she was nothing like this as a puppy...playful and sweet as a button, but i guess every dog is different. I invest so much time in playing with her, training her, getting energy out but she still attacks. everyone i talk to thinks she was taken from her mother too early :( the breeder did say at 8 weeks that she hasn't been with her mom because she needed to be weaned off and that it was normal...but i'm not sure it is. every tuesday i take her to a puppy socialization group but she just stares at the other pups playing and doesn't join. one positive thing is that she's REALLY smart...she's learned how to sit, lie down, paw, roll over, spin, put her toys in her bin, drop it, and more in just a few weeks. your post gave me hope that she will change and i won't give up :) thank you!