Should Vern be the Next Bachelor??

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

It was recently suggested by a couple of members of DK that Vern be the new Bachelor on the ABC TV show.

I have mixed emotions about this, because Vern is never leaving home and that means his new love is going to have to live here. Because of that, I have to take Fudge's feelings into consideration and she is not always fond of Vern's playmates. It would take a special gal to win all of our hearts because we definitely are a package deal. I also feel in all fairness to all concerned, Vern be up front about some of his requirements and his inclinations.

1) Vern is a big drinker and doesn't care if the water comes from his water bowl or the toilet.

2) Vern is a night owl. Expect to be up every night for some reason or another.

3) Vern is a high roller as well as a low roller. In other words, Vern will roll anywhere and in anything, including hay (If you know what I mean).

4) Vern is very masculine and protective of those he loves.  He is on duty 24/7 and will alert you to every noise, every car in the driveway out of place, even if it is the resident car, certain things on TV and you will never know what those things are until his bark causes you to almost have a heart attack, dogs he sees in the mirror, dogs he sees in the window glass, owl posters at the vet's office, men in lawn chairs, random people including those he knows, and anyone with a hoodie or hat.

5) Vern can be pushy.  If he sees somewhere he wants to be, he gets there. If you are in his way, so be it.

6) Appearance means nothing to Vern and that will become apparent to you after spending a few days with Vern.

7) Vern can be dirty. Very dirty!

8) Vern is a lover.  He is big on PDA.

9) Vern doesn't always brush his teeth. That may be a problem after he eats Kleenex or mud.

10) Vern is very close to his sister and that bond can not be broken.

Vern is looking for a gal who accepts him just they way he is, because there will be no changing our Vern. This gal must be fun loving and like to dance. Vern is a big dancer. Oh, and we will not split his sweet potatoes, cheese, or Spud's cookies. Don't ask!

After all of this, please tell us if you think Vern should be the next Bachelor. Remember fame can ruin dogs. I heard Lassie was loose and free, if you know what I mean. Rin Tin Tin was married numerous times and fathered many puppies out of wedlock.

I won't even ask if Fudge should be the next Bachelorette, because she is far too classy to end up on that show. She is a smart cookie who knows her on mind and what she wants. After all, a gal who dresses as smartly as Fudge won't need any help in the love department. She has got it going on.

Still, Fudge would like to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day, even though she opts out of being the next Bachelorette!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Cheryl. Wise words indeed :) They are staying put!!

[Robin and Libby Louise]

I must say that I would prefer Vern 100 times over the current Bachelor, which isn't saying much, but I agree that he is too classy!  Happy Valentine's Day to you and your whole bunch, Laurie!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Robin. I hope you have a great Valentine's Day, too!

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

okay Laurie, I really do think we should save Vern all the trouble and hassle of dealing with 25 fickle desperate females and just cut to the chase here. Bella has had her eye on Vern for the last 3 years and she just expressed to me that she feels its time for us to talk about some summer/winter home sharing. She says:
1. Drink? I can down a bottle of water in 3 minutes! I do prefer clean, spring or reverse osmosis water but any puddle in the street is just as good to me.
2. I sleep like the dead, so Vern;s night roaming cant wake me. Heck, my mom has practically kicked me off the bed and I'm still snoring, hanging half off the side.
3. The more "scents" the better. Bring it on! Poop is my specialty and to be able to spend the day with someone who rolled in it would be like heaven!
4. I like a man who can protect me and my people! As long a Vernors is on duty, I will feel safe.
5. I am very acrobatic and can leap and jump out of the way in a flash. Unless of course I want to get there first, then I will leap over him and beat him to the punch. So he really can't be too pushy with me because I can just dodge him!
6. My mom calls me " a hot mess" all the time and is constantly picking leaves and stuff out of my coat. Something about being a "sh-t magnet" so we will make a cute messy couple for sure.
7. Ha! let me show you 'Dirty"!!!!
8.I have perfected the "lay my head in your lap and look at you with longing loving eyes look" so we can get lots of loving that way. I also have a really good attention getter called " Lay on top of mom in bed and put my snout right at her ear" that always gets an immediate giggle and lots of hugs. I can teach you Vern.
9. The only time I remember to brush is after a good meal of Murphy's poop. The aftertaste can linger, so even though I don't remember other times, I don't have poopy breath.
10. Murphy would have to be part of the package, as would Fudge. We have not ever been apart and I really don't think he would get along very well without me. Who knows, maybe he and Fudge would hit it off too.

So in the end, Vern and I are meant for eachother and our moms would have great fun together taking us places and making our special dog treats and making up all kinds of blogs about our adventures!!!!
So no need to expose yourself to the world in a national TV program , when I am willing to accept you totally and unconditionally Vern!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Whoa, strong case.

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

LOL …and they lived happily ever after.  Vern this could be the one!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Wow....Bella does sound absolutely perfect for Vern, except she can never teach him that poop trick :) He has enough bad habits. LOL

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Fudge actually looks like a "Ticked Off" Pippy Longstockings IMO!

Fern, your Mom has turned you into a Mama's Boy, and that means you will never be happy with anyone else and she would be a horrible Butinsky mother in law if you ever actually "doodled up" and left. So I think you should just stay put, though you would be worth the hassle I think.

Happy Valentine's Day you two adorable doods!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

LOL...Butinsky....I take a lot of abuse on this site :)

[BG and Gavin]

Lets face it Laurie, Vern only has eyes for you!  Happy Valentines Day to you and your pack.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, BG! I just love him!

[Jill, Woody & Maxi]

lol! I would start watching if Vern were on the show! Love the pictures