Losing it with Lupin

[Bridget and Lupin]

We just had a rough 30 mins with Lupin, so I'm going to unload a little bit here. 

Any time the front door is open, and she gets the chance, she bolts.  Usually we are pretty vigilant bc my little boy was so traumatized by it the first time it happened (I'm talking balls out hysterics on his part bc he thought we would lose her)....now every time someone knocks on the door he is frantically putting Lupin in her crate.  Well, tonight she saw her chance and she took it.  She was up and down and around the block, including stopping traffic in the street (thank goodness we live in a quiet neighborhood) attracting the attention of a million neighbors who were out for runs/walks with their obedient dogs/gardening/what have you.  It took a family walking their dog to come in our back yard to lure her back.  Nothing else worked...not treats, not turkey, not her leash, not coaxing...nothing.  If the neighbors hadn't helped, she'd be in the next county by now. 

My husband and I have HAD IT with her.  She has had 2 rounds of doggy classes and an expensive private in-home trainer and NOTHING works.  It doesn't matter how much we work with her.  She still barks, jumps up on people, mouths people's hands and ankles and won't come when called.  She's 1.5 yrs on July 18th, and everyone says this is normal puppy behavior that she'll outgrow, but I have my doubts.  The flat out in-your-face disobedience is galling and infuriating, but what really p***** me off is how it affects my son.  He loves her as much as the huz and I loathe her, and when she runs away like that he is hysterical with worry and fear. 

I don't know what to do anymore.  We are clearly stuck with her and it seems like we just have to wait til she outgrows her shitty behavior.  Which will probably be when she's 12 and too arthritic to run. 

I'll take any and all advice, encouragement and suggestions.  Thanks for listening if you're still reading.

[sandy b]

This is so sad because it sounds like you have given up on Lupin.

[Leslie, Yogi & Maci Bear]

I am so sorry to hear you are having a hard time with your doodle.  You do sound so very frustrated. :-(   Ask around for some recommendations on a good trainer, but most of all if you are dedicated to keeping this dog, then you really need to follow through and work on training and reinforcing behaviors EVERYDAY.   I do think some dogs are a little easier to train than others, but the bottom line is consistently training.  It seems that if we stop training for even a few days that our doodle will regress.

Good luck!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I'm going to try really hard not to be judgmental, but I do have some different thoughts about this.  Your post is about "bolting at the front door", but I really think that's just a symptom of a much larger issue.  You actually say you "loathe" your dog, and that tells me that right now you only have her because of your son.  In order for training to work well in "every day situations" I believe there must be a bond that is established with the dog and their person.  That bond is a pact where the dog knows that you "have their back and are there for them" but you are going to expect some disciplined behavior in return....and then you teach them what those expectations are.  That's training at its best IMO.  You and your dog are working together.  I have a dog who has many problems and issues and has been in training for many years just to be able to function in the "real world".  It has taken so much work just to keep him our lives.  I can't imagine how I would ever have been able to do this if I wasn't totally in love with him and dedicated to making it all work.  If I "loathed him" or was doing it only for the kids there would be no way we could have succeeded.  Training the "bolting at the door" is really not difficult, but it starts with teaching Lupin that you are the leader and nobody goes through that door unless you say so.  That will take time and total consistency....and unless someone is there to monitor the situation Lupin would need to be crated when that door is opening and nobody is supervising/training.  I really believe that Lipin can be trained to be a great family dog...there is nothing here that would make me believe that she has issues that are "untrainable".  That said, to be fair to her, you need to decide if you have the time and the love in your heart for all the hard (but rewarding) work it will take to get her there.  I can give you a plan for "at the door" training....let me know if that's something you would like to try.  It has worked with my dogs and they would never think of going out the door unless I gave them the "okay", but it takes, time and work and total consistency.

[Bridget and Lupin]

Just getting back to this now, sorry for disappearing.  Thanks to everyone for their sympathy, encouragement, suggestions and overall lack of judgement.  I will definitely look for a doggy daycare for a day or two a week and then a dog walker for another day or two.  I don't know why I didn't think about that....we have neighbors we can get recommendations from for both services.  I will also look at the online options...both the Canadian one and doggiedan.  I'd happily spend a dollar for some help!  :-) Bark Busters helped somewhat and I think the growling is still effective, but the throwing the water bombs crossed a line for me and he completely lost me.  I had time to take her to the dog park today, and like others have said, it really makes all the difference.  A tired doodle is a good doodle...that's for sure. One of the biggest problems we've had is a lack of consistency.  Initially my husband just wouldn't spend the time training her or walking her like I did and she got one message from one parent and a different message from the other.  So, yeh, she definitely has no sense of who might be the pack leader.  I also liked the leash at the door idea.  We have the perfect spot to keep her leash, so that's an easy one to implement. 

And for the record, we don't really loathe her and we haven't given up on her. If that were the case I wouldn't have bothered asking for help.  I was just venting.  We love her and we know eventually she'll be an awesome family dog.  She's just really hard to handle right now.  I've had a couple dogs...all labradors and she just has a completely different temperament. None of my labs were ever this stubborn and willful....they were all doo-di-doo-di-doo happy go lucky with varying degrees of neuroses.  :-)  It also seemed like once they were trained, that was that, know what I mean? 

Thanks also for the counter-surfing, egg-making story...I needed a laugh.  When Lupin stands on her hind legs she has this air about her that makes her look like a 5' man in a dog suit.  I can just picture her standing at the stove making eggs.  :-) 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

The Labs...were they your dogs that you yourself raised from puppyhood as an adult, or were they dogs you grew up with, i.e. your parents' dogs? 

[Bridget and Lupin]

They were mine as an adult but I got them as rescues from LEARN. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

So they were adults when you got them, and already fairly well trained? 

[Bridget and Lupin]

Well, admittedly, one was old...like 9 when I adopted her and the the other was 2.  Ella, the 2 yr old was house-broken, but that's about it.  I trained her.

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Jane, said what I was thinking, but expressed it so much better.  Lupin sounds like she has a good heart and I'm sure she loves your son as much as he loves her.  So I hope you and your husband can get on the same page and get her training on track. If she gets enough exercise, and you learn the right way to train and are consistent, I think you'll have a wonderful girl. I'm glad you're going to check out Doggie Dan.  My trainer always says I don't train the dog, I train the person. I took a series of 3 - 8 week classes with FInn by the time he was a year old.  For every hour we spent in class, I think we spent an hour a day split into small 10-20 minute sessions.  Doodles are smart but that doesn't always equal easy to train -- just because they are so smart (and mine is stubborn :) But it's all about developing a bond, and learning how to communicate your expectations effectively, and then, being consistent.  As soon as you're inconsistent, the doodle gets confused and thinks she/he gets to choose.  My doodle isn't perfect, but all things considered, he's pretty much a dream to live with most of the time. But I know when I've slacked off :)  I'm going through Doggie Dan's videos now.  Good luck.  You can get there if you love her.

[Bridget and Lupin]

She does have a good heart...she's sweet, affectionate, playful, funny, quirky and smart, not to mention adorable.  I'm just frustrated because I KNOW this is our fault, not hers.  Its the classic "we don't have time for our dog", but we love her and when we brought her home she became part of our family and we won't go back on the commitment we made to her.  Our Bark Busters trainer said that it was about training us (the people).  I think bc we are so busy we are inconsistent bc consistency can be exhausting.  We find the energy to do be consistent with our son, obviously, so....we have to step that up.

Its so weird that she's so good at the dog park....she won't go too far ahead, comes back to get a visual on us and we have no problem getting her leash back on to leave.  But when she busts out the front door its a totally different game. I'd be curious to hear some insight into why that may be.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

One thing I've learned is that everything is contextual with dogs.  My Murphy is never dog reactive off leash, but it's a constant struggle with him when he meets other dogs on leash.  Two different contexts...two very different reactions.  If you're serious about teaching her manners at the door the first thing you will need to do is "claim that door".  That means that she only comes and goes on your terms.  Every single time you enter or exit with her she must be sitting first and you will need to wait until she's in a calm state of mind.  The state of mind is critical.  If the door equals excitement to her she will not be thinking of what the expectations are and she will pull or "bolt" when she can.  Eventually they learn that they go NOWHERE unless they are calm.  Watch her body language and the second she seems to be calm, you go through the door and then turn and invite her out.  Be careful not to show any excitement yourself, and if she starts to get excited again after she exits put her in a sit and just wait.  If she's still overly excited go back inside and start again.  She needs to understand that you will never move forward until she is calm and listening to you.....no matter how long that takes.  If you do this consistently it will become a habit and your door issues will be solved.  I'd focus on this for now, but then I'd move into teaching her a solid down/stay.  I couldn't live without that command....it keeps my dogs out of trouble when I can't be monitoring them.  I really think the Doggie Dan videos will help you with all of this.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

She is bolting out the door because you haven't shown her that you are the pack leader.  Something has made a huge noise at the front door (door bell, knock, noise, etc.) and she thinks that she must get out there to protect the pack from whatever the big bad noise is.  If you read Doggie Dan's 5 steps for becoming the pack leader, when the door bell rings you will know how thank her for alerting you to the noise and then claim the space, show her there is no danger, you are the pack leader and you have it.  She doesn't need to worry, she can go relax.