Family Tragedy

[Brandon McKinney]

My wife and I recently experienced a family tragedy. We unexpectedly lost our puppy during a horrible accident. Our labradoodle Mac would have been 5 months old today. We picked him up in late May and he immediately stole our hearts. Since we have no children yet we treated him as our first child and spoiled him as such.

This is absolutely heartbreaking to my wife and me. He was our first dog together as a married couple. He was a perfect match for us in every way. Everything from his shades of apricot, carmel, and cream to his temperament and high level of affection towards us. We are struggling to say the least. Especially my wife as he was her companion while I am gone working 24hr shifts at the Fire Department.

What has helped you in grieving the loss of a new puppy?

We understand that we cannot replace our Mac. Although we found that we loved the positive energy he brought into our lives and house. We are worried that we will not be able to find a dog with similar characteristics that we so greatly enjoyed in Mac. What has your experience been?

How soon did you get another dog? Is sooner and later better? Waiting lists for a well bred labradoodle seem to be long. Is it best to get on a list immediately even though we are still grieving? What happens if a puppy becomes available sooner than you expected?

We have so many feels and emotions we are not sure what's right or where to go from here. Any other general advice or suggestions you can offer?

Thanks,

Brandon & Kasey

[Laurie, Wally & Charlotte]

Dear Brandon and Kasey. I am deeply sorry that you lost your beautiful Mac. I have two incredible labradoodles -- Wally is eight and Charlotte is two. Before them, though, we had a goldendoodle puppy named, Simon. He was our first dog, and we loved him to pieces. Without describing the horrific details, I will share with you that we lost him in a tragic way when he was just 11 months old. When it happened, the grieving felt unbearable, and I couldn't imagine ever emerging from the darkness of his loss. Shortly, after, though, while we were still trying to cope with life without Simon, my husband and I put down a deposit for a puppy from a future litter with a different breeder. By the time that Wally was born (six months after we lost Simon), we were very ready, and couldn't wait for those puppy kisses again. Wally is very different, personality-wise, than our first dog, but he's also perfect for us. When the time is right, you will welcome a new furry family member into your home. He or she will also be a great fit, and will make you laugh and feel exhausted, all over again. 

[Thomas, Chari, & Lady Belle]

Brandon,

Three weeks ago we had to put down our 13 year old chocolate lab Coco.  It was a very hard thing to do.  We had the same questions.  How long should you wait.  Then I saw Belle's listing on the DRC web site.  She's blind, so there weren't as many applications.  Her listing spoke to me.  "Come, Tom, come."  Today she's living with us.  Losing a dog puts a big hole in your heart.  You can't totally fill that hole with another.  But it sure helps.

Because Belle lived with a pack in her foster home, it seems to comfort her to lay on our family room rug that still smells of Coco.  I think he's still with us helping her through adapting to her forever home.

I can't tell you how long you should wait.  But if you keep your eye on Labradoodle listings, your heart will tell you.

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

I am so very sorry. I also agree that only you will know in your heart when it's right for you. May you be at peace.

[Lynda Kamrath]

So very sad, and most of us have been there also.  Who can say what is the best way to get over grief and move on in your life?  Dogs die, people die, and babies die.  Death is just part of life.  Unfortunately, in my ripe old age, I have experienced all of them, and it is never easy.  My heart dog, a labradoodle, died at seven years old of liver failure.  But that did not compare with my baby dying 35 years ago.  You never really get over a death, but move on in your life.  "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

My suggestion is to get registered with DRC.  There are lots of great dogs that come through that system.   I had three rescues in April and kept one.  The other two went to new fosters and were adopted quickly.  Put the word out and the right dog will come your way.  You, and your new dog, will be priviliged to have each other.  Good luck.

[Geri]

My Kali dog, a rescue, was getting up in years and my son told me I should get another dog.

I did and lost Kali last year. Brenna has really helped in the loss of Kali.

You will know when the time is right.

What happened?   

[Angela Wilson]

Dear Brandon and Kasey, 

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your sweet pet. I know the feeling all to well, as my husband and I recently lost our 2 1/2 year old yellow lab. We were in your position about not knowing when to welcome another fur baby into our hearts and home, but we soon realized that getting another pet would by no means be replacing our sweet Summer. We just knew that having a dog meant opening up our hearts and receiving love in return. In short, we waited about a month. We got a little golden doodle, his name is Crosby. We can't quite believe we are experiencing puppyhood so soon, but we know the investment of love, time, and dedication to a dog is more than worth the return. We have a special place in our hearts for our girl who is no longer with us, one that we think will forever be dedicated to her, but as it is, we are thoroughly enjoying our new little guy too! Again, I am so sorry for your loss! 

[Miss Ellie]

My heart just breaks for you and your wife...I am so, so sorry for your loss...no matter how, no matter what age the dog...losing them is one of the most painful experiences and we can all unfortunately relate to what you are feeling...there is no definite answer to your grieving process that any of us can give you...in my own personal experience we only lasted six months after losing our beloved golden retriever...I couldn't handle the emptiness of not having that wagging tail & special kisses to greet me at the door every time I came home...we brought our sweet Ellie home a year ago Aug.6th...and I have not regretted a single moment...though Ellie will never ever replace our sweet Jack...she helped to fill in the huge hole in our hearts...and now we are making wonderful memories with our sweet girl...you will know when the time is right...but first you need to take the time to grieve your beloved Mac first...I pray that over time you will smile from your memories you have of him and the tears will lessen...sending thoughts & prayers!

[Julie, Eloise & Beasley]

I'm so, so sorry for your loss.  Everyone else here has said it just right.  You'll know in your hearts when the time is right. Sending healing thoughts to you both. 

[Pat and Traveler]

I have no advice, but am so sorry for your loss.

[Peggy Joan]

I am so so sorry.  I agree - follow your instincts.  We lost a wonderful dog, and against the advice of many, we went to a shelter the very next day and brought home Kiley, a physically and emotionally damaged Sheltie.  That was 3 years ago.  It has been challenging, but I am glad we did it!  She is still with us, albeit frail.

Five months ago, with much research, we got Elsa, and what a joy it has been!  Frankly, I did not want to go through the loss of Kiley without another dog in our home.  No, should you decide, you cannot replace your wonderful Mac, but for us a new addition softened our pain and gave us a new purpose.  No regrets!

Blessings and peace to you,

Peggy

[Bonnie and Kona]

I am so very sorry for you. Losing a dog is heartbreaking.

For our family getting another dog soon has been helpful. Being busy with a new puppy helps to distract and heal. When our dearest Golden died we got Kona exactly one week later. You have to be sure you are not set on getting another pet that will be like the last one. Each is completely different just like kids. They have their own personalities and comparison doesn't do any good. That is probably easier when you lose an old dog and get a puppy, but try hard to not have expectations that the new pup will be like the last.

I am sure you will find a way to cope that will bring you joy again.

[Brandon McKinney]

Thanks for everyone's kind words and comments. Reading your stories has helped reassure my wife and me that there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel.

We are experiencing so many emotions that we are just not sure which direction to go. Right now may be an easier time to train a puppy since it is still warm and wilbe for a while longer. There is just so many things to try to factor into such a big decision.