I got dog-shamed

[Sara]

First, I'm new, so forgive me if this has been discussed previously.

Second, I got dog-shamed today....and I don't even have my puppy yet! :(

Scenario: I was at a holiday party with, well, let's call them "snooty intellectuals". Lol.
I was asked about our puppy. I said we were getting a goldendoodle. Cue the eye rolls. I asked why I was getting eye rolls. I shouldn't have asked. It began a long diatribe of "people like you who pay WAY too much money for 'designer dogs' and how I am contributing to the over-population of mutts---because that's all I'm REALLY buying is a MUTT!" Oh, and that I would do the world a favor by rescuing a shelter mutt instead, blah, blah, blah.

Wow. Ok.

I gave my reasons for adopting a goldendoodle: less shedding, smart, kid-friendly, cute ( I admitted I was a vain consumer on that one, lol), basically that the goldendoodle "fit" all my family's wants/needs in a dog.

Then one man in particular told me--smirkingly-- that all of my criteria for a dog fit a POODLE and that it would have been a more responsible choice to make.

Sigh. I gave up the fight at that point and just said that none of them could ever pet my dog, EVER! and I stomped my foot and flipped my hair! Ok, not really, but I did say that I chose what I think is best for my family and that I hope we could just all be respectful of each other's choices.

Ugh!!!!

It hasn't changed my mind--at all-- about adopting our Doodle. But it did make me feel, well, bad!? One stupid party and I'm questioning my ethics about dogs?!?! I think I'm avoiding work parties for awhile....

My question: has this ever happened to you with regards to your Doodle, and, if so, what did you say?!?!

[Marie and Hoka]

Love that song!

[Three Doodle Life]

I think some people just like to feel superior. I've had people dog-shame me over my purebred miniature schnauzers because I "should have adopted from the shelter". They tend to get less snarky when I tell them that none of our five dogs shed. :-)

We take Beowoof, our golden doodle, to Lowe's and Home Depot a lot and he gets 95% good comments. Most everyone likes to come pet him and ask about him. The small minority of naysayers are usually husbands of women who want a doodle but the husband thinks they are too expensive. LOL! Beowoof is so curly that a lot of people think he is a standard poodle. :-)

The people that make me uncomfortable are the ones that want to know how much he cost. It's such a weird and personal question that it always catches me off guard.

Don't worry about what people might say to you, though. Having a doodle has been nothing but a joy for me! 

[Shoney & Ruby]

Thank you for posting this. We have been really vague about our puppy's origins. I don't want to deal with people who are judgy. We love dogs and have had many rescues in our lives. We donate to rescues. But we had very specific needs for a therapy dog and a doodle fit those needs. Still I feel like I have to justify or be vague, which bothers me since I am usually very honest.

If we didn't adopt our doodle, we would not have saved a shelter dog. We weren't going to adopt another type of dog. The shelters in my area are filled with pit bulls and pit bull mixes--in my opinion the owners of these dogs should be ashamed to let them breed and then fill the shelters with the unwanted pups. In the future we hope to find another doodle to rescue.

Whew. Got that off my chest. My plan is to continue to be vague. Good luck.

[BG and Gavin]

Generally we have had mostly positive thoughts (save one poodle lady who totally relented once she passed Gavin on his therapy dog test and marvelled at what a "natural" he was for the job). As long as you go with a responsible breeder (see DK guidelines for what to look for) you should feel no guilt. There are many irresponsible people and puppy mill operations breeding purebreds after all. Congrats!

[Diane, Baker & Oskar]

Once they are born, all dogs need a home.  

Of course, rescuing a pet is a great thing to do.  Rather than shame a person for buying the dog of their choice, the people who should feel the most guilty about shelter dogs are the people who are responsible for placing them in a shelter.

We have had 6 dogs & a nasty cat :)  All stayed with us for long lives...in spite of a few problems, a shelter never crossed our minds.  Once we had a pet, it was our responsibility to love & care for.

It's always amazing how some people feel it's OK to be rude & judgmental when it comes to other people's choices.

[Amy and Annabelle]

We got our little mini doodle from a breeder. I had done research on 3 "designer" dogs before deciding on a doodle. Allergies in the family and not wanting another purebred led me to the doodle. However during my research I came across a lot of hostility to the designer dogs. I have decided to only tell close friends and family, exactly what she is. I am not a confrontational person and do not need anyone telling me off for my choice of a family pet. If someone on a walk inquires, I will just say she is a poodle mix or a mutt. For what it is worth, I did look at rescues in my area. Plenty of pit bulls and cats, but no poodle mixes to be had. I looked for about 3 months before I made my decision. She is 17 weeks and has not been on any public walks yet as she just finished up her vaxes a couple of weeks ago. I will have to see how it goes in the spring when we finally take her out.

[Rebecca, Kandy & Murphy]

Having had a really awful experience with a rescued dog, I would never do it again.  Our current "challenging dog" is a re-home from a bad initial placement by the breeder, so at least I know about his parents health and temperament.  And I knew he would need a bunch of training -- OK, it's worse than I expected but still...

Our rescue cocker came from a respected rescue organization, at least on paper.  Sounded like a good match for our family and we passed their check.  Turns out the dog was at least 3-5 years older than we were told, had a terrible skin condition that we were never able to get rid of (and so felt awful to pet and smelled horribly), had been neutered less than a week before we adopted him, wasn't ever fully potty-trainable, hated grass, wouldn't play with anything.  Putting all of the pieces together we think he was probably a stud at a puppy mill that was let loose when his health problems became apparent.  Two years of pouring love and money into him and he died of cancer.  Not blaming the rescue for the cancer but am pretty sure that initial years probably contributed to overall poor health.

Especially if you have a family, I think it is worth the money to know about the dog's background.  Rescues can take tremendous amounts of time and money -- more so than a healthy puppy from a good breeder.  We paid more in vet bills than we were ever have paid a breeder for a puppy.  If you don't have the time and patience to work with a challenge, then it makes sense to go a different route.  Especially if you have kids who might be put in danger by a rescue dog with a temperament problem.

There, does that help? 

[Susan & Randy's Kate]

People who rescue are doing a great thing but often the dogs are older or at least older pups.  In our situation it is easier to teach a dog boundaries in the country with a young pup.  When we got an older lab she roamed and eventually didn't come back.  That was after she had a litter of pups.  That was a surprise to the previous owner since the dog was in a tall pen.  My husband found a dog along side of the road and that dog had pups too.  

At this stage of our life we wanted to find a dog that was laid back and gentle.  I looked at a lot of rescues and almost went to see them (I have never gone to look at a dog and not bring it home).  In the end we settled on our labradoodle.  The rescue I like looked like it could be part pit bull.  I know they get a bad rap but I wasn't in a situation to deal with that.

Love our doodle.   

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

I've had a few rescues in my day and a few pass through. It is not that cut and dry.  Not every rescue and not every family can possibly be a match.  I'll never forget a woman who tried to convince me the dog was better with her  :)   She was right.  Thank you, Sarah.  

There is a time and place for everything. Actually, I would NEVER let you rescue before raising a puppy. If that is not training the human and fine tuning them to work with rescues, nothing is.. Puppies are a lesson in life!! Big time. I am certainly glad my children did not arrive at the age of 15 :)   

Enjoy, and Shake it Off. Love that advice, Cindy and Rippley! .  Like I said on page one, for ever more, tell people, " Oh, he is a mixed dog" and let it go!   Lesson learned

[Cindy and Olive (Ollie)]

Lol Joanne! It's too catchy! I'll shamefully admit that I love this song. Doodle song of the week!
Besides, judging is 'their' issue - not ours. We are happy doodle owners!

[Sara]

Lol! Joanne, this is a hoot! You can play DJ anytime!

[Marie and Hoka]

The video is so cute; I'd never seen it before.  Thanks!!  That song is on my running list... great inspiration as old guys and pregnant ladies pass me on 5Ks!