Frustrated w/ waiting list issues for our new doodle. *updated*

[Three Doodle Life]

i'm feeling really frustrated with the waiting list for our litter. After doing a lot of research into different breeders and feeling I had found our best choice, I placed a deposit on a future litter back in December 2014. We are 4th on the list out of 10. The breeder has always advertised that they match pups once they are six weeks old and after a "meet and greet". From the beginning I've stressed to the breeder how important personality and temperament are and that looks are secondary. She did ask us to give preferences in regard to sex and color. I listed our first choice as brown with no preference on gender.

The pups were just born last week and nature being nature there were 8 pups instead of 10 and one being kept back for the breeder. I was really happy because of the remaining 7 there were 4 browns. The first three on the list wanted brown so I thought I might get to choose the last brown. I was excited but I figured choosing was weeks away. Two days later the breeder sent out a preliminary match list. I was really perplexed because I thought choosing went according to order of deposits after 6 weeks. I got additional emails asking me again what I could or could not accept. I reiterated that personality was key and I wanted to meet the pups before choosing. I said that I was open to either gender but that I still wanted brown first but that I might choose black depending on personality.

Tonight I got an updated preliminary match list and it now looks like people farther down the list are getting their preferences and I am getting what is left. That sounds really crass and I don't mean it that way. From the beginning I thought that you got to make your choice/match in order of the waiting list. I was looking forward to meeting the four remaining pups once the first three people chose. Now it looks like the pups are just assigned based on what other people say they have to have. There are three people behind me on the list that are getting their first choices when I am not. Does this sound right? Am I wrong about how waiting lists and choosing work? The person getting my first choice for color just did their deposit a few weeks ago and were almost last on the list.

Apologies for rambling. I'm just upset about this because I've been looking forward to it for months. I really wanted to meet the pups and pick the right one. :-(

[Stephanie]

Breeders will do this differently, I have spoken to some that offer first come first serve, so if you are #4, you get to choose fourth. Others have said that they choose the best fit for you and you really do not get the choice but they will listen to your wants. Did you find this breeder on the association lists?

[Three Doodle Life]

Yes, this breeder was one the lists and also recommended here. They met all of the criteria in "what to look for in a breeder". I've even met some of her pups here in town. I have no doubts about the health and quality of her doodles. This wish list/waiting list is my only complaint.

I really dislike confrontation and I was trying to be flexible. I don't know if I should just say that I will only accept the brown so that I can at least have the choice?

[Stephanie]

I would definitely tell the breeder exactly what you're looking for so they can better fit you to a puppy. Being specific actually helps them out to match puppies to families. With my breeder I was asked every possible question of what I am looking for from gender and color, down to the type of coat I prefer.

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

I would have a frank discussion with the breeder- maybe the phone is a better option for you rather than emails?  It does not have to be a "confrontation", just let her/him know that you are disappointed and tell her why.  Good luck!  I have a feeling it will all work out.  

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Have you asked her for clarification on the matching and why it is being done now rather than after the 6 week meet and greets?  I would just nicely say I'm confused and would like clarification.  She doesn't know enough about the puppies yet to match according to your desires.  

[Laurie, Wally & Charlotte]

I would call the breeder this morning for two reasons: 1) to explain that you are surprised by the process (which is not what you expected) and 2) to be very clear about your desires/requirements in a puppy. The fact that you received an updated "preliminary" match list last night suggests that the assignments have not yet been finalized. I'd also ask the breeder how placements could be made so early, when the puppies are too young to be showing their true personalities. Good luck!  

[Kris and Sawyer]

There were 10 puppies in Sawyer's litter and they all looked almost exactly alike. We were set to get Sawyer. The breeder met us in my town (2 hour drive for her) because she had one going to the airport here and a couple others going to people near me. When she handed Sawyer to me she said, "You get Huckleberry, right?" I said, "No we have Sawyer" and she said, "Oh yes, that's what I meant, this *is* Sawyer". We still wonder if we really got Sawyer or not. It was likely just a name mix up, not dog.. But still... You wonder. My point? Whatever one we ended up with, he's perfect. He's mine and I wouldn't trade him for the world. You will love your puppy... Brown, black, pink..whatever. I wouldn't stress!

[Three Doodle Life]

Thanks Kris! I have no doubts that all of these puppies are healthy and sweet. We really are open to either color or gender. We just want to meet the pups in person and choose rather than be randomly matched. We got lucky with our first doodle Beowoof. He is a sweetheart! I had 1st pick and went entirely by looks. LOL! I didn't know anything about temperaments. He looked cute so that's what I went for. I've seen what can happen with bad matches. After reading Doodlekisses and becoming more knowledgable I knew that I wanted to make an informed choice. It might even be the one I was alotted. I'd just like to shake paws first. ;-)

[Lori, Daphne, Lucy & Pippa]

I agree with Sheri ( Lucy & AnnaBelles Mom). If those puppies were just born last week, there is not a personality yet to match to the buyers. Sounds like they are just going on color and gender choice alone. You definitely need to speak to the breeder and let her know your thoughts.

[Three Doodle Life]

Thank you everyone for giving me your input. I'm still upset about how this is playing out. I checked all of my email correspondence to the breeder and each time I was asked about my preferences, I brought up meeting the puppies at six weeks to make my final choice. I really wanted to do this the right way and get a sense of who the pups are rather than just pick one at random. The literature on her site mentioned personality and temperament testing at six weeks and matching after the meet and greet. I understand that she might be trying to give everyone what they "want" but this is just not working the way I understood it. 

I emailed her twice about it last night but have not heard back yet. Here is a sample:

"We’d like to meet the last chocolate and the three black pups and see which one has the personality that would mesh with our pack best. We have four dogs at home, three schnauzers and one standard goldendoodle. I think temperament is really the most important part rather than color or gender. That said, I’d hate to pass up on the last chocolate, (male, I’m guessing), and he be the one that would make the best fit. Does that make sense? Is this even a possibility or do we have to decide now?"

"Can you explain how the matching works? Is what we are assigned in the list set in stone or do we get to meet the puppies and work from there? The way I thought it worked was you picked in order of your place in line. Do we have input into our match?"

"We thought it was done by the order of the list. It was a given to me that we wouldn’t get the first three chocolates because we were fourth on the list. From there I thought we’d get to choose from the remaining four pups. It’s entirely possible that we would pick one of the black pups but we really wanted the option to get the chocolate since there are four of them. I guess my issue is to not have the choice of the 4th chocolate when we are higher on the list. Could we not choose from the remaining female black, the male black and the male chocolate? 

If we had to choose without meeting them, I’d take the last chocolate since that was our first choice when we got on the list originally.

I really thought we got to meet the pups and then choose from the remaining four once the first three families chose."

[Laurie, Wally & Charlotte]

The other possibility is that when the first three people on the list make their choices at six weeks after meeting the puppies, one or more of them might end up picking one of the black puppies. That would, potentially, make even more chocolate pups available when it's your turn to choose. I can see why you would be frustrated with how this is going, which is why, if I were you, I'd pick up the phone and call her right away.  

[Three Doodle Life]

Thanks, Laurie! That is exactly how I thought it worked. I'm definitely getting in contact with the breeder today to nail down how this is going to work.