A Funny Especially for Karen and Jackdoodle!

I got this email from my aunt today and could not resist posting this on DK. I know Karen, our Food Group Guru and Expert, is going to love this joke :)

A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet,
Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had.. an
elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't
have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs
in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The
food is nutritionally complete, so it works well and I was going to try it
again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

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Permalink Reply by Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle on February 17, 2016 at 6:55pm

LOL, Laurie! I wish I could have the opportunity to try this!

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Permalink Reply by Sally M on February 17, 2016 at 8:27pm

This story sounded very familiar to me. I knew I had seen it before; quite a while ago. So I Googled it and found almost an identical story on the Internet from 2012. Only the dog mentioned was named Biscuit (but he was a "wonder dog" too). There are a ton of versions of this and they have have different dog names. LOL! It was funny back then and it's still funny. I don't know who came up with this but it's a classic. Cute tale/urban myth/joke/story/email/whatever. My favorite part: the punch line about the fire hydrant, of course!