One doodle's anxiety runs our household!!

[Sue S]

Hi Everyone! I am hoping for some help with my 1.5 yr old, female, miniature Goldendoodle.
Bristol is a ball of nerves and anxiety. She is our 2nd doodle, we have her ½ sister who is 4 yrs old, calm, obedient and loving. Bristol is very much a bully to her older sister, who tries to fight back, but Bristol is approx. 7 lbs heavier, so size wins every time. Bristol is a bully, she takes every toy from her older sister, then drops it and walks away. She hogs toys as well, she will intimidate her sister to stay away from her once she has collected every toy she can.

Our major issue with Bristol is her anxiety, and well her shear need to dominate her older sister. She is always on edge, any sound sets her screeching off in a barking fit, than can last from 1 to 15 minutes if she is spooked. She is spooked by everything. Every car door that shuts, bang on the wall, knock at the door, person in her peripheral vision. Although strangely enough she is not bothered by thunder. I can’t say she loves fireworks, but they don’t send her into a tailspin.
Most of her issues are in everyday life. She doesn’t suffer from separation anxiety per say, she will pace and cry for 2-10 mins if we leave her with my parents or if one of us leaves the house and the other is home, then she settles. We have a nest cam on them all day, and I can see there is little to no anxiety, no pacing, and no barking. They sleep all day and only get up around the time they expect us home from work.

She is 'jumpy' for lack of a better word. There is not an evening that passes, not even an hour that passes, or a night that goes undisturbed. If she hears a car door, my husband walking up the stairs (he goes to bed later than I do) someone talking outside or spies a squirrel out the window she’s off and barking, waking & scaring us from a dead sleep. She seems genuinely terrified & I feel bad for her; being on edge 24/7 is not a comfortable feeling. I just want to help her be comfortable in her life and her relationships with humans and other dogs. 

She has an issue with our kitchen range fan. It sends her cowering, shaking and hiding when I turn it on. I, once, months ago, burnt microwave popcorn (no smoke alarm went off), but I turned the fan on. Ever since that day she is terrified of the fan.

She may be a bully, but she is not a confident dog by any means. She will lay on her back and submit to any person and usually any other animal, however, once an animal goes in for a sniff, which is natural, she gets very snippy and incites a fight. She has no issues with humans who reach in for a belly rub. We have worked/are working – continually on her recall as she is very headstrong and pretty much doesn’t listen to anyone. She is a peripheral dog, always just out of your reach, never within an arm’s length.

We have not tried the thunder shirt, I don’t want her to have to wear it all day every day. I have tried the Adaptil DAP with no effect. I have recently ordered some Bach’s Flower Essences that I have not started to use just yet (not the rescue remedy).

I just want this girl to be comfortable in her own skin and not be so jumpy. I do have to say – she is home all day, with her older doodle sister, and they sleep. There is no crazy antics, no fighting, no pacing, and no barking like a fool. She hears the same noises during the day that she does in the evening and during the night – so why she’s so on edge when we are home is a mystery to me.
Any thoughts or suggestions you have to offer are appreciated. Thanks, Sue

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

One thing I would not allow is to have her on your bed where she can look out the window.  That is a huge guarding reinforcer.  Murph is never allowed anywhere where he can look outside....even to the point where if he lies in our family room he must face away from the sliding glass doors.  I would never allow them to be in the room while you are eating.  They can fixate on watching for food to drop and then the contest begins.    It sounds like the trainer you worked with had some great ideas....definitely dogs like this can't be allowed on the bed or furniture.  Also, it's totally fine to have different rules for different dogs.  Guinness gets lots of privileges that his brother doesn't....because he just can't handle them.  Keep watching for body language signs of posturing.  Murph will sometimes just stand over Guinness or try to block him....I don't allow it....that's bullying behavior.

[Sue S]

Thanks Jane!  Bristol is doing a bit better.  We've stopped letting her look out the window when she's on our bed.  I haven't taken away bed privileges as of yet, mostly because she spends the majority of the night on her bed (on the floor at the foot of our bed) she just starts the night off on our bed.  We've been redirecting her away from the window, so now she doesn't even go for the window when we get into bed.  

We've pulled all toys and only give them out during specific times and then they are put away again.  As well, if we do allow them on the furniture, it is one at a time or one with each of us or one on each side of us, they are not allowed to sit together with one of us on the sofa. I find things are getting better with her as we are outside exercising more due to the warmer weather.  The more tired she is, the better behaved she is :)

Anything she steals or tries to steal from her sister I promptly take away from her and give her a firm NO. This she has a more difficult time learning - she's very stubborn and persistent and I'd even say fixated.  Breaking the fixation is the hard part - but we're working on it.  Thanks so much for your suggestions :)

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Wow....it sounds like you're making GREAT progress!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I have nothing to add to what Jane said, except I bought a noise machine to mute outside noises for our dogs. We moved to a busier neighborhood and both dogs were barking more at the sounds they heard outside. We have all followed Jane's training with Murphy and if anyone can help you, it is Jane. I am so sorry you are going through this with Bristol.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

 My first thoughts about why Bristol gets anxious were like Jane's - that she is guarding you. Jane has so much training experience with a 'difficult' dog, that her advice is always sound.  One of my doodles often takes toys from the other dogs simply because he can.  No one challenges him and there are never fights over this behavior.  Another doodle hoards toys under his tummy which we find amusing because there haven't ever been any problems stemming from this behavior.  You are having problems with it, though, so must address it. 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

That's a great point Nancy.  With some dogs it's really not about them being "pushy" and taking toys from each other is no big deal.  For other dogs (and my Murph is one of them) is about them saying "you can't have that because it belongs to me...everything belongs to me"...and that's a problem because it manifests itself it lots of undesirable ways.

[Sue S]

Your Murph sounds so much like my Bristol!  She takes because she believes everything is hers.  I feel for my older girl, Charlotte, she loves her toys (balls mainly) so much and Bristol just takes everything from her and hoards it, protecting it.  It is heartbreaking.  I so wished they would be playmates & snuggle buddies, going on a year and a half and no luck so far. 

[Stella]

I just found this discussion! I have two male doodles that sound exactly like your two. My bigger, older guy is very labbish - friendly, goofy, easy going. My second doodle is a ball of nerves and energy. They are now 8 1/2 and 7 1/2 and I've had them both since they were puppies. They were both very well socialized as puppies and have done obedience training and agility competitions. I had some very bad periods of serious fighting between the two of them, resulting in vet bills for stitches to my older guy. I began to worry that if my older guy ever decided to fight back that one of them would end up dead. Chase, my younger, was anxious all the time, always on guard, never able to relax. We went to classes (he is very reactive to other dogs) and he was so stressed he wasn't able to focus, he couldn't even sit still.

It has been a long road with him. Several times I thought about trying to rehome him or having him put to sleep. He was miserable, and was making me and my other dog very miserable. None of us had a good quality of life because everything was so stressful. I began my version of Nothing in Life is Free with Chase - I controlled everything about his life. It wasn't about which dog was higher in the ranking, it was about me being in charge of everything! My dogs have never been allowed on the furniture, all toys were taken away, and I directed pretty much very move that Chase made.

After a lot of soul searching, and failed attempts at behaviour modification because he just couldn't focus on anything, I decided to medicate him. This is not the answer for every dog, but for him it was literally life saving. I knew then that successfully rehoming him was near impossible - who would take on a dog with all of those issues? But we couldn't carry on as we were, it wasn't fair to any of us. So, we started him on anti-anxiety medication and it has really helped. He still has his issues, but now he is manageable, my two dogs tolerate each other, I am able to take him to classes and he is successful at learning.

You have had a lot of good advice already, but please post if you need more help. Several of us have been there, and we can support you :)

[Sue S]

Oh wow Stella, it sounds like you've really been thru a lot with your two boys!!
While I was experiencing some improvement with Bristol, she has regressed some. Perhaps it is me who has regressed, as when she's improving, I likely get lazy with the rules and she desperately needs the rules. There has been little fighting between her and her sister, a large part of that is because we wear them out and head off any potential issues.
Bristol is constantly in protection mode. She paces, she barks, she's on edge all the time, I fear she's giving herself an ulcer. My vet has offered medication, but I've been resistant. What is your Chase on? I'd like to do some research.
I've recently tried essential oils with her, but she was physically sick for 2 days after only taking them for 4 days. I don't know if the oils caused her sickness, but I wasn't willing to keep using them if they potentially made her sick.
Bristol did very well at obedience training, so I may enroll in another class as she has extreme issues with other dogs. She snaps, snarls and fights with every dog we come into contact with. (She never did this in obedience training as a puppy).
Thanks for sharing your situation with me, I appreciate it. I'm glad you've kept Chase and are working thru his issues. ❤

[Stella]

Hey Sue. How are things going with Bristol? Any better? Chase has been on Fluoxetine (Prozac) for three years now and I've found it has definitely made him more manageable. The vet initially offered amitryptalline (?sp) but that has a sedating effect and I didn't want him to be copy, I just didn't want him to be anxious / afraid all the time so I pushed for the Fluoxetine. The two dogs still go at it with each other sometimes, but (touch wood) no serious fights in a long time. I'm lucky that I have a friend who is a dog trainer and she let me bring Chase to her 'Manners Classes' to practice his manners around other dogs as he can be very reactive around dogs he doesn't know. I've learned the hard way that there can never be any relaxing of the rules, for him to understand his place I have to be on him all the time - it is tough at times.

[Sue S]

Hi Stella, Happy New Year! 

Thanks so much for checking in on how Bristol is doing!  She had been doing very well up until about a month ago.  That is likely our fault as we've relaxed the rules on toys and couch time.  Bristol suffers from/deals with Resource Guarding, all I've read, she's a classic case.  She has relapsed greatly in the past 2 weeks and has had daily fights with her older, but smaller sister.  Charlotte has had at least 2 bites that have bled and scabbed on her neck. I know it's on us to ensure she has no reason to 'flip and lose it'. We've allowed the rules to become lax.  We've tightened up the reins again in the last few days and things have been better, no fights.  I feel your pain, having to be on them all the time. It can be exhausting.  I'm so glad we don't have kids lol.  I hope you're doods are doing well, sounds like the fluoxetine has helped.  We have a vet apt next week, I will talk to my vet about it. Thank you!!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I've learned with my Murphy that relaxing any of the rules results in a quick deterioration of his negative behaviors.  I also think that is is confusing to him when we change any of the expectations.  I finally came to the conclusion that the "rules" will be in place for the rest of his life, and it's actually better for him.