Problems with Jake and "selective" listening

[Lindsey Holt]

Hi all,

Jake is a 8 month old goldendoodle that was neutered 3 weeks ago.

When my husband is home, he is the model canine specimen. Chill, doesn't steal things, destroy stuff, or anything.  He listens and can have open access to the house.

When DH is gone it is like a totally diffident dog.  He steals stuff and runs and i try not to chase him, but sometimes I have to get the item back.  He paces the house looking for stuff to get into despite how much exercise he has had.

We have been working with Bark Buster's dog trainer service and have a one on one trainer.   Whenever the trainer comes he is a doll, I've taken video of him with me and it is like his evil twin has appeared.  They seem very similar to the NILIF training methods referred to here.  I growl when he exhibits undesirable behavior and he couldn't give two craps.  Clearly he doesn't trapped my "authority" but I can't for the life of me figure out how to fix it.

He will wait for food in a stay until I release, I go through doors first.

My DH is traveling for work next month and between the kids and Jake I kind of want to cry.

He is gated while we are gone, fwiw.

If you've made it through this... Bless you.

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

Jake is clearly chilling in the photo.  He is a nice looking dog.  You have made it to 8 months, you will make it the rest of the way.  Start teaching him things, down, beg, shake - whatever and use what my kids my "mom voice".  It is lower, firm and one word or at most two.  This is for real listening and behaving, not just conversation or chit chat.  I chit chat with my dogs all the time, but they know my "mom voice' and really listen up. 

Also I would start tying Jake to you when he is not crated.  He is going to enter his "teenager" years soon enough so time to take control again and let him know you mean business.  The rope can be about ten or so feet long and tied to something other than you when you are in one place.  But then tied to you before you start to leave that place.  If he doesn't like it, tough, you are not being mean, just keeping him within correcting (or rewarding) distance until he  understands that you are in charge.  If you are not already feeding him all his meals, start doing so for awhile.

You will soon have a new improved Jake who understands that you are in charge, even when you are playing with him.

[Lindsey Holt]

The problem with tethering is he will just chew the tether/leash. I have doused it with bitter apple and continue correct him, but he is relentless.

[BG and Gavin]

As always (lol) my recommendation is tethering/umbilical training. See this discussion and accompanying video for an explanation. He is still young, but I understand you need to assert your authority with him and this type of training really helps I think.

http://www.doodlekisses.com/forum/topics/umbilical-tether-training-...

[Cindy and Olive (Ollie)]

Lindsey, I had to respond - your last line cracked me up. I feel ya. I'm going to check out that video, too (thanks BG!). But what came to my mind was Doggy Dan's mantras which I've memorised -all signs to him that you're in charge: you control the food (including bones, picked up the second they leave them), ignore after separation, everything on your terms (you're the one to initiate contact or play as well as stop it, and no "space invading" allowed), you're in charge of any "danger" and you control the walk. Check him out for more info or pm me.
I totally get wanting to cry, but maybe you'll find it's an opportunity for Jake to see you as primary leader, and for you to show him this with your new rules! Good Luck! :)

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I really agree with Cindy's advice and the Doggy Dan teaching about leadership.  I really think that Jack knows that your husband and the trainer are "in charge" and so he is listening to them, but it seems that he sees you as being on his level....so he can do what he wants.  I really don't think "growling" to address undesirable behavior is going to work, especially if he's not respecting you.  Sometimes this can make them feel that you're playing a game which gets them even more excited.  Have you tried leashing him the second these behaviors begin and doing a few minutes of obedience work which finishes with a down/stay until he calms down?  If he is still misbehaving at that point I would crate him or gate him until it stops.  I would never chase him when he steals stuff...he's in control at that point and he's just playing with you.  You can calmly track him (without saying a word)...don't run just follow him.  He will eventually give up (he'll probably be confused about what's going on) and then you can take the item from him.  I did this with Murphy when he was at that stage and it totally worked.  The key is that the whole time you are tracking them you display body language that is calm and in control.  It sounds like the trainer is giving you some good strategies....the key is feeling like you are the one in charge and never letting Jack practice these undesirable behaviors.  Just keep telling yourself that YOU are the one in control and I really think he'll begin to understand and accept that and things will turn around.

[Lindsey Holt]

When I leash him he just started acting nuts and chewing the leash. It's like he gets wound up and I can't get him to can down. I will gate him, but when he comes out it is just more of the same.

What do I do when he steals stuff and destroys it? If I don't chase him he will rip and tear the item up... Pillows, papers, whatever he manages to take.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

When you put the leash on him do you give him commands?  I never let Murph steal and destroy things.  What I did was follow him around the house....I stayed very calm and did not chase him...just tracked him.  Eventually they get tired and drop what they have. 

[Lori, Winnie, Bob and Indie]

Everyone has give you great advice! I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

Even though I was the one that did a majority of the training, walking, taking her to obedience classes, etc., Winnie acted EXACTLY like Jake. She was always stealing a shoe or stray sock and running around with it, barking at me, tugging at my pantlegs, pestering me, etc. She was a complete pill! Both my husband and I were diligently incorporating the NILIF concepts, and it was really starting to annoy me.

It finally dawned on me that it wasn't really an "authority thing" or lack of disrespect in our case-it was her trying to get me to PLAY with her. Kevin was the one that played with her, and I was the one that trained her. She saw me as boring. So, when Kevin wasn't around she acted out to try to get me to play with her. Yes, she was doing it in an obnoxious way, but that's what teenagers do! Lol  So, I started doing a little more "respectful rough-housing" with her, played more ball with her, etc. And, low and behold she was more content. 

So, it's something to think about. Another suggestion, especially when your hubby is going to be gone next month... consider taking Jake to a doggy daycare 1-2 times a week. It help get him more "played out" so that he is calmer with you in the evenings.