Help! Paralyzed with indecision when it comes to choosing a pup

[Lara Hanlon]

Hi! We've been looking at getting a dog for about a year. We want a small to mid-size dog (30lbs or so, shin-to-knee-ish height on me - I'm 5'8"), easy to train, good with kids, low-shedding, dog- and stranger-friendly, with a medium activity level and not too crazy. I know that the variance dog-to-dog within a specific breed can be wide and you could get two siblings from one litter that are polar opposites, so I'm definitely doing what is basically impossible - generalizing a breed and trying to predict a general adult temperament from a puppy. 

We have a friend who has a really sweet mini goldendoodle - just a perfect little guy - so he led us in that direction. We'd basically decided on that dog type and decided on a breeder (Cowpounder Kennels in SD - anyone have a dog from there?). The parents are health tested, they offer a health guarantee, they seem to be responsible in their breeding practices, etc. 

We'd planned on bringing the puppy home later this winter (i.e. late December or January) for a number of reasons - so we have plenty of time to prepare, we have time off from work/school, and we can pass that "puppy isolation" period where they can't walk around in public places in winter when we wouldn't be able to venture outside as much anyway (with lots and lots of plans to socialize!). 

However, my parents have a cockapoo (I hate that name!) and he is just THE BEST dog - calm and great with my girls and such a good listener. So I'd casually looked at them as well, even though they are smaller than what we ideally wanted. However, like I said - I know guaranteeing a dog that checks off all the "ideal" boxes is virtually impossible, so we're obviously willing to be flexible. We found a nearby breeder who has very few litters - they just had their first since April of last year and the pups will be ready to come home in a few weeks. We went and visited and just fell in love with one sweet girl (I tried to link a pic - we'll see if that worked, haha). 

So now I'm completely torn - stick with original plan and timeline, or move our timeline up and get a dog that is potentially much smaller than what we'd wanted? Compounding the problem is that I'm overthinking the goldendoodle, too. Here's my summary of what's running through my head - 

- Cockapoo - will probably only get to be about 16lbs, so much smaller than what we wanted, however, smaller = cheaper to feed (ha) and less poop to clean up and more portable, have heard stories of cockers being anxious and not kid-friendly and having issues with excited peeing. Possibly not as "sturdy" as we wanted with two kids?

- Mini Goldendoodle - could possibly get bigger than we wanted (we have another friend with a mini who is about 55lbs but was told it'd get 30-40lbs), some of the goldendoodles we've met have been INSANELY crazy/hyper and I've heard that a lot from other owners (especially regarding the first two years). 

Can you PLEASE help me think through this?!? haha. I know I'm way overthinking, but it's such a huge investment, money-wise for sure but more importantly time-wise, since we're talking a companion for the next 10-15 years!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

 Cockapoos, goldendoodles, and labradoodles are all poodle mixes, so whatever you choose will have that in common.  I don't think you could go wrong with any one of them. Cockapoos have been around longer, so you might be able to find a reputable breeder easier.  I have a friend with a cockapoo that is about 60 pounds! For size, a lot depends upon the poodle size you breed with.  There is no guarantee of non- or low shedding when you mix shedding dogs with non-shedding ones. The current trend in mini doodles of whatever mix is pretty tiny.  I worry about the genetics of a huge dog mixed with a teeny tiny dog - orthopedics especially.  I love pure-breed Cockers but  I have heard that years of poor breeding has resulted in unstable personalities, so you might want to do some research.

We can't discuss specific breeders in discussions, but you could ask for people to friend you to give their recommendations.  Just remember that we all think our dogs are wonderful which makes our breeder 'wonderful' and this is not necessarily true. Get sophisticated in looking at websites.  If they say their dogs live in their home and then they have 10 dogs - really? Ask for verification of health testing of the parents of the puppy you are looking for.   The Cowpounder site is relatively unsophisticated and very confusing. They have a  lot of dogs - where do these dogs live? Inside their house as family pets? Not all dogs show health testing and not all appropriate tests were given. The guarantee is pretty useless since you must exchange your dog - so  if your puppy is diagnosed with hip dysplaysia at 20 months - do you really think you will want to trade the dog you have come to love and adore for another? A good health guarantee pays you some money up to the purchase price of the dog for genetic defects.  This breeder may be fine, but you need to do some research to make sure they breed quality dogs.

Here is a link to a guideline you might want to use as a checklist in finding a good breeder, whatever you choose.  http://www.doodlekisses.com/notes/What_To_Look_for_In_a_Breeder

[Laurie, Wally & Charlotte]

I have a couple of additional thoughts -- First, we chose a breeder who was pairing two labradoodles who both weighed close to 40 pounds and we ended up with a puppy who grew to be 24 pounds. Second, since the cockapoo litter was just born, you might be able to ask the cockapoo breeder to not dock the tail of one of the puppies (if you care about that). Doing so would mean, though, that you would be obligated to that particular pup before knowing anything about his/her appearance or personality. And third, if the litter of cockapoos was just born, then you wouldn't be bringing your puppy home for eight weeks, so the timing would be pretty much the same as if you waited for the mini goldendoodle. Going out every couple of hours in the winter months up north is no fun at all! I know two families with terrific cockapoos, and we have two wonderful labradoodles, so really, you can't go wrong as long as you do your research and choose a responsible breeder. 

[Lara Hanlon]

The cockapoo pups will be 8 weeks in mid-October! I actually think the tails were already docked, but now that you say that, I can't remember! I'll have to look back at my pictures. The tail is docked on my parents' dog, but I don't care one way or the other. 

[Ginny Nightingale]

I am just going to comment on this as a labradoodle breeder--I wish I had a dollar for everyone who said this: "easy to train, good with kids, low-shedding, dog- and stranger-friendly, with a medium activity level and not too crazy" This is a lot to ask of any breeder--since these pups are BABIES--you can not order a pup like you would order a hamburger.  Please don't take offense, but all pups have their crazy moments and they are good with kids when their experiences with kids are POSITIVE. And the same for strangers--so you have to get a well-raised pup with good breeding and health history and then DO YOUR HOMEWORK--Training and environment will give you the dog you want.
I am sure none of the dogs you like so much arrived that way when pups--it took work--and maybe those folks with crazy dogs never did that work. 
Just my opinion! But as for the breed, I think any of these would be OK but it is nice to have a bigger dog when you have kids.

[Lara Hanlon]

Definitely no offense taken - like I said, I know that the variance dog-to-dog within a specific breed can be wide and you could get two siblings from one litter that are polar opposites, so I'm definitely doing what is basically impossible - generalizing a breed and trying to predict a general adult temperament from a puppy.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I would also add that if it were possible to do, you could take the same puppy and raise it in two different homes and end up with two completely different dogs.  Have you considered adopting an adult dog where all your questions would be answered before you get the dog.  Breeders often have retiring breeding dogs.  You would know if it sheds, how big it is, how hyper it is etc.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

So many breeders do not socialize or even housebreak their breeding dogs; they often live in kennels.  This type of adoption can be very difficult in itself, so I wouldn't recommend it.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I guess I was thinking more along the lines of a "reputable breeder" lol! or even a Guardian Dog.

[Ginny Nightingale]

Very unusual to have that set up these days--most reputable breeders have their dogs in guardian homes where they are raised from the age of 8 or 12 weeks.

[Laurie, Wally & Charlotte]

What an adorable little girl -- the puppy, too! I realize that I read your initial post quickly and didn't grasp that the cockapoo puppy will be available to go home soon. She looks a lot like a bernadoodle puppy that a friend of mine got a few weeks ago. Very cute! If she is pulling at your heartstrings and you are okay with a smaller dog, then she might be hard to pass up. Also, by the time the real winter weather arrives, you will be mostly past the constant in-and-out of the house as you crate-train her. What a hard decision. 

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

This little girl is adorable and I agree looks a lot like a Bernedoodle.  I would just add that I know you said you fell in love with this little girl and she is pulling at your heartstrings ... I'd venture to guess if you went somewhere else and looked at a liter of puppies, there would be another one pulling at your heartstrings.  Puppies just have a way of doing that.  You just need to decide what is the most important to you.  

[Linda, Charlie Brown and Beau]

This little puppy is off the charts cute.  As others have said, if she is pulling at your heart strings go for it.  Last year my best friend wanted to get a doodle because she is so crazy about our two.  As it turned out she got a cockapoo from a local breeder  and is thrilled with him and now glad she did not go with the doodle.  He turns turned one recently, and his adult coat is so easy to care for and he is non-shedding! What more can a person ask for! The markings on this puppy remind me of a Bernedoodle.  Beautiful face.  Good luck - no matter what you decide.