How to comfort and help dogs when they lose a human parent

[Michelle]

My husband, 44 years old,  just died suddenly in a car crash on November 21, 2011. I haven't been on here too much lately but I was hoping for some advice on what to do or change to help my 2 labradoodles (2yrs old) deal with his death. I am having a very difficult time and my children (11 & 12 yrs old) are being stronger than me, but I worry about the 4 of them very much. The dogs will watch the door, waiting for my husband to come home. I let them smell his clothing and the clothing he passed away in, but I don't if that helps. Any suggestions?? Thank you!!

[Trudy Harlow]

Oh, my, Michelle, I send my deepest condolences.  How very difficult for you all.  I am so sorry.

I believe dogs grieve just like people and, just like people, over time the pain will become less although we never forget the one we lost.  Your dogs have to sense the pain you all feel, as well as being confused because your husband is not there.  I hope they will be a consolation to you and your children, as you are trying to be to them.

God bless you all.

[AndySharon BoomerShaynaMariner]

Condolences to you and your family.  I saw the same behaviour from my SIL's dog when she passed away suddenly.  Sorry but I don't have any answers. 

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Wow, Michelle, unfortunately I don't have any advice to offer but wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.   Just give them all lots of love and lots of hugs (as when you give a hug you get one back)!  Sounds like you have a lot to keep you busy between two kids and two doodles, but please remember to take time to take care of you as well.  Know that we are all here to listen anytime you need somewhere to escape.  Hugs!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Michelle, I am so very sorry for your loss!! In my opinion, dogs have to grieve just like humans. It might just take time for the dogs. Just know I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I am so sorry your kids and you are going through this terrible heartache. God bless your family!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I am terribly sorry for you loss, Michelle. My sincere condolences to you and your children, what a tragedy for all of you.

I would not worry about the dogs. Loss is easier for dogs than for humans, dogs are rehomed every day, they lose their entire family, and they adjust with time and love. Take care of yourself and your kids right now. Hugs to all of you.

[Michelle]

Thank you all so much! I have always found this website to be loving and helpful and comforting. My husband was a true family man, he went to work and came home to us. All of his free time was spent with the kids, the dogs and myself. He even attended a doodle romp with us, (which he was teased about by friends! LOL! ) But the loss is so huge to us all because he was always here with us and giving us all his love and attention. I just want the kids and dogs to have peace and happiness and I hope I will be able to provide that to them.

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

I am so sorry for your family's loss, this is very sad, and made especially sad during this time of year it's happening to your family.
As for the doodles, . My first thought was how nice for them to be able to have DH's familiar smell from his clothes, although there are probably scents of him all over the house. Then I thought, that as those scents naturally decrease around the home, that maybe their having the clothes keeps their hope alive that he is nearby or coming home. I have no idea what I would do in this situation, but they still have eachother and their home and their family, so you may not have to do anymore than continue to love them to make it better for them. I will say extra special prayers for you and your family.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

I have no words. I'm so very sorry for your loss. It seems so unfair. DK is the perfect place to come for comfort and support. I'm sorry I have no idea how to help your doodles. I think just keeping them busy with play will help all of you. Take care of yourselves.

[Carol and Banjo]

Michelle - Please accept my deepest condolences.  I'm so very sorry for your loss.   You must be a very special woman to be so concerned for your dogs at this time.  Although I'm sure the dogs miss your husband very much, I think this may be a time when they can provide you and your children with some comfort in just being there for all of you.   I'm praying that you'll all get through this very difficult time together.   You and your children will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Jarka, Monty & Auggie]

Michelle,

So sorry you and your kids have to go through this. Please accept my deepest condolences. As for the doodles, I believe dogs can be picking up on your feelings of grief, which is not uncommon. I lost my dad this summer and was gone for a month. My husband said the dog was depressed the whole time. But once he was out of the house, in a dog park or on a walk, Monty did not even think about me anymore. Just like Karen wrote, the dogs will be fine. You need to make sure you and your kids are fine. Once you are in a good place, the dogs will follow. They adjust faster than us humans because they live in a moment. I wish we could enjoy life the way dogs do. All the best to you and your kids. Hang in there. Lots of love a doodle hugs to you!

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Michelle, I hope you and your family will accept my condolences for the sudden loss of your husband and father. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now.

I have not been in a similar situation but I have had a dog grieve over losing another dog in the household. It took time but eventually he recovered. One thing I learned and I don't know if this will apply to your situation or not, but it seems in most households the dogs recognize a "pack hierarchy". In my case the surviving dog acknowledged the dog we lost as his "leader".  So for him he not only lost his friend but also the one who always told him what to do and where to go, etc.

If your doodles saw your husband as their leader or alpha member of your pack then they may need for someone  to take over that position for them.  Like I said I don't know if this is the case in your household but it maybe something to consider.

[Dori & Rua]

OMD....my heart goes out to you and your children (including your furbabies).   I am so sorry for your loss.  May you all find the strength to get through this.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.