Having to possible give up puppy...long post

[Nicole L]

Our Buddy is 7 months old.  He is a very active but sweet dog.  We live in Atlanta with our 3 kids, ages 9, 7 and nearly 3.  Hubby never really wanted the dog but said yes for me and the kids.  It has been very challenging to go through the past 5 months with our little guy.  I felt so guilty with all the time he was in the crate when I was tending to the toddler or away at the school with my other kids.  I got so frustrated when house training took so long.  I got upset when the kids forgot to pick up their toys and the puppy ate them.  I got angry when the 2 year old would hit the dog with his tractors and think it was funny.  Buddy never showed any aggression towards him and that is what makes this so hard.   I want to just love and cuddle this puppy, but just find myself mostly frustrated with my kids, frustrated with him and all the extra work and stressed that he is stressing my husband out (not to mention the holes he digs in the yard...my husbands pride).  I know it would be a lot of hard work to get a puppy, maybe I was just fooling myself that I could be superwomen??  Summer is now here, and we are in Wisconsin with family in out in the country.  The puppy gets to run like he never does at home.  There are 3 other doodles on the road for him to play with.  We have a family member that has offered to buy him from us.  Hubby is very happy to "recoup" some of his cost and eliminate this one stress from our lives.  I am so torn.  I look at his cute little doodle puppy face and burst into tears.  But then when I really think about it, am I being selfish because I don't truely have the time to give him that he deserves and know that this family would.  Their kids are grown and gone and they have always had a golden retriever, but their last one has since passed.  I know I will be breaking my kids hearts, but I am trying to explain to my oldest why it would be best.  We would get to visit him every summer when we come up to Wisconsin, so he wouldn't be completely gone from our lives.  Oh, please help, I  just am so torn as to what I should be doing.

[Mimi Linna, Lilly and Lolly]

First of all let me give you a big hug.  As a mom and grandmom, I would say to let the puppy go and let the kids know why. Tell them that the dog will live in the country where he can run and you will visit him during the summer. You know it is sad but it will be better for the puppy. tell the kids it is okay to feel sad and mad that the puppy has to leave.  Be ready for tears and mean mommy vibes. Cry with them and tell them you will miss the puppy too.. Do not say it is because it is too much work or that they didn't do their part or any negative reason that the dog is going away. Trust me you all will get over it. When they are older and YOU are ready.. get another. I mean when the youngest is about 5 or old enough to pick up after themself. If you haven't already, with three kids being this young, you.will.be.on.the.go FOREVER..until they leave for college. You will have enough fun :) reminding them to brush teeth, and a bazillion other mom things without adding..did you feed the dog? did you let him out? did you pick up dog poop?  best of luck

[Nicole]

When my husband and I got married 22 years ago I got a puppy...the first to ever be "mine"...I loved that little one so much. Then we were surprised by the upcoming arrival of our son (who knew birth controls and antibiotics don't mix? lol)...things were ok, then a year later we decided to have another baby. We were in a TINY place, the dog seemed to have tons of fleas no matter what prodcuts we used and she brought them into the house...it was absolutely heart-breaking, but I gave her up to an older couple in the country. For about a week I cried and longed to go get her back from these people and my son kept walking around saying her name and looking for her (he was about 1 1/2). It will be very hard...But in my heart I knew it was best for us and for puppy. It got better with time although I was not lucky enough to see her again. I heard from a mutual acquaintance that after an adjustment period she became his "right hand" pup and followed him all over the farm. It was the right decision and although it took time to heal I don't regret it. When our kids were in elementary school we got another...as people on here have already said it was a much better time to have a pet. Good luck and have peace with your decision.

[Carla, Lucca and Izzy]

We also have Ben, our now 9 yo Golden Retriever...when he was 4 his owner was going to give him up for adoption because they had 2 small children and he (Ben) was high maintenance. My son's girlfriend was (is) his groomer and when the owner told her he was going to give him up she said, "no, I'll take him". So 5 years later we still love him to pieces. He lives with us 3/4 days a week. With his original owner he was crated all the time because they didn't know what to do with him. He is in a much better place with us and Jess. My brother also just adopted a 7 year old Burmese Mtn dog for the same reasons. You're not alone and it will be fine:) Have a great day!!!!

[Angie, Hudson and Lily]

Hugs to you. I can feel the pain in your post. Sometimes the right decisions can be the most painful and hard to do. From what you have written, I think the best thing for Buddy would be to go with either family that wants him and can give him the attention and time he deserves. Rather than letting your husband choose the home based on who will pay for him, let him go to the home that will give him the best life and make him a real part of their family. Like other members have said, tell your husband that just by giving him up you will be saving money in future costs. Make the best decision for Buddy's happiness.

[Charlene and Buster Dudley]

hi, I'm Charlene and I'm new to dk.  ohh Nicole, I hate this for you.  I do not have kids but I am a full time nanny and I take my dog to work with me everyday. this means 45 hours a week I am with a 5 year old, 2 year old, a 12 month old doberman and a 6 month old doodle.  And I can tell you I UNDERSTAND.  my doodle, who is great becomes ALL puppy when we're at work.  My boss and I have agreed on several occaisions life with a puppy and kids can make you crazy.  while having a pet under certain curcumstances can be an awesome experience a pet IS an added cost and work. especially if you're a busy mom.  don't be so hard on yourself, it's OK-whatever you decide.  please keep me in mind for pointers or playdates (puppies or kiddos).

 

things will work out, you have solid options ; )

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

N

Nicole, Here is my opinion. You got your little Buddy with good intentions and now it is not working out. When you took on the responsibility of your puppy, you became responsible for his well being and it is up to you now to make the best decision for his rehome and to see that the BEST family gets him. That decision should not, in any way, be made on how much money he is worth or can be made off of him. I would give him to the family where he has room to run, out in the country, where it sounds like he will be getting the time and attention that he deserves. He will also need time to adjust to his new life and it you and the kids are dropping over to see him initially, I think the transition for him will be harder. The other consideration should be that no one gets him that does not plan on keeping him inside the home.

 

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Nicole, I think you know in your heart where your puppy will be better off both your options seem great.  I feel that the place where he can run with and play with others would be best. It is not clear however if the family that has offered to "purchase" him is the family that you are visiting in WI right now, the ones with the doodles on the same road. If that is the case, even though I don't think you should "sell" him there really is no reason not to try to recoup some of your costs (even the DRC has a rehome fee) to keep your husband (seriously sounds like you must try to appease him) happy. 

Good luck with this very difficult situation.

[Debb, Lucy & Oscar]

I think you are making the right decision, also. For us, with not having any children at home, having a puppy was really hard, exhausting work. We were both on board with getting a puppy, too, and we both took responsibility of Lucy's care and well being. We'd done a lot of things to safeguard the house (from Lucy's destructive tendencies as much as for her own safety), by putting up LOTS of puppy gates. Even then, I used the crate a lot for those times I needed to get things done around the house and couldn't watch her nonstop. My point is, even in the BEST of circumstances, raising a puppy is difficult.... I mean, really difficult and stressful.

I can also say that it does get better... a LOT better. Lucy is now nearly 20 months and she is so much a different doodle. So mature and well behaved. Her care is a breeze compared to when she was young. Now we can do agility and bike riding with her... things we never dreamed of doing before. Lucy goes everywhere with us and is the main focus of our lives. I would wait to get a puppy until you have the time (and energy) to devote to it.

[Lori]

Hi Nicole....just wondering how you are all doing, we haven't heard from you & are wishing you the best.