Almost a 2 Doodle Family :(

[Hazel & Chester Wayte]

Over the Holidays, I was contacted by a local Dog Resort owner (She works with the SPCA) rescuing and helping rehome dogs. She had a 10 month old Female that was looking for a furever home. She knew Me as a doodle lover - as I hosted a Doodle Romp at her park last fall. She wanted me to reach out to my doodle network.

I talked to her about the puppy- her previous owners had found her aggressive. They didn't have time to give her the love and support,exercise and training she needed. They were going to Kijiji the dog or put her down! ..But the rescuer convinced them to let her rehome 'Blossom'.

I talked to my DH - he has allergies ,We don't have any children.  Chester is 19 months and gets along well with other dogs- he is very socialized. I had been considering a 2nd Doodle. (Boris and Auggie are giving me the puppy itch :). I was thinking that this could be fate- we could work  with this Puppy and give her a loving home. Chester would be a great older brother, and they would have companionship.

The rescuer offered her to us as on a trial- knowing the allergy situation and a bit about us.  She wanted us to keep her informed.

We were elated and picked her up. She was a sweet little girl similar coat and colours to Chester. weighed less then 50 Lbs. (Chester is at 83Lbs). 

I am not sure I introduced her well to the our home or to Chester. Chester is a big boy and she was a little intimidated. She was pretty timid often cowered when approached. She refused to come downstairs-  DH had to carry her down the stairs. She knows some commands-sit, leave it-  and we were doing more training. She would eat any and everything.. Chester being so picky this was an eyeopener.

We spent most of that first night trying to get to know her.  She would shy away from contact at first, but after a couple of hours started crawling up on DH, one paw at a time, getting some love.  Eventually she would climb up and sit on his lap, falling asleep in his arms.  We learned quickly that she barked insistently when she needed to go out for some business.  The only time we saw any sort of aggression was when she was guarding food/treats, or when she finally discovered toys, and Chester would come too close and she would snarl and snap at him, which we corrected each time. 

Chester didn't seem to know how to handle this new Doodle. He flinched every time she barked at him. He never reacted back.  I think he felt he was trying to protect us.

The first night was interesting.  She didn't seem to be used to being loved at all, and wasn't used to being on furniture or a bed.  We brought her onto the bed when it was time to sleep, and Chester came up to the bed as well.  This didn't go well at all, and led to Chester leaving and going out to the hall, and being very upset at the intrusion.  At this point DH took her into the spare bedroom, closed the door, and she slept on/next to him all night, content, while Chester kept watch, with his nose out of joint.

During the next day, DH's allergies were in full swing, he had to wash his hands/face constantly, and the dogs were just not happy together inside the house.  It was snowing fairly heavily, and with both dogs angling for our attention, we were constantly going in and out of the house on walks, etc.  At one point we tried taking both of them out, and for the first time, they romped together, played together, and enjoyed each other's company in the fresh snow. 

We figured we had turned a corner in the doodle relationship, but once we all came back in, Blossom continued not being comfortable, and Chester continued being really out of sorts, unable to relax.  DH and I had an all day conversation on what to do, as we just didn't feel comfortable leaving them alone together when we returned to work full time in a couple of days, as well as DH's allergic reaction (yes, maybe that would get better, or maybe one dog is all he can handle..).  In the end, the tearful decision was made, that although we could tell she was happy, possibly for the first time in her life, and we enjoyed giving her the love she deserved, that we had to return her to the resort and let someone else give her the furever home she truly deserves.  We had already been alerting the local doodle community and both we and the resort owners are overwhelmed with the responses, and all the great possible homes for this sweet little girl. 

The decision made, our hearts broken, we continued on throughout the day, spending as much time with her as we could, as due to the storm, we couldn't return her until the next morning.  During a walk with DH, she played with a couple of neighbourhood kids, and was great with them, but on the way back, we saw the first sign of the "uncontrollableness" that the original owners mentioned.  Essentially because she wasn't done playing, but had to go home, she started jumping, and pulling on DH's gloves and jacket.  This is no big deal at all, and will just take some time to correct, its such a shame that no one had put in the love and time needed up to this point.

The rest of the evening was spent with Chester completely upset at the attention she was getting, and us feeling like complete failures.  We have so much love to give, but Blossom just wasn't the right second doodle for us, at this time.  She needed more time than we could give, and we didn't want to have Chester feel uncomfortable in his own home.  He is our little boy, and has given us so much love in return...  We were both a mess the rest of the night.

We again slept apart, each with a doodle, and got up early the next morning, barely containing the tears as we took her back to the resort.  The 30 minute drive seemed to take hours.  We both lost it when we turned her over, and saw her look at us, wondering why she had to go back into the play area without us.  Getting back to the car, we broke down, and cuddled with Chester, who was immediately relaxed and back to his normal, goofy, loving self.

We are keeping in touch with the owner of the resort, and will find out what happens with Blossom.  We have spent the last 2 days feeling very guilty, feeling like we failed her.  We know she will be well loved and cared for by her new parents, but we know that given different circumstances, we could have had a sweet little girl in our lives.

This has been a very emotional holiday for us overall, including a death in the family.  We know in the end we did the right thing for us, and for Chester, but still keep Blossom in our hearts, and still have moments through the day where we wonder, what if.

I was hoping to be reaching out to the DK community for tips on adding a second doodle and ways to integrate a rescue. Perhaps it would be different if it was a new puppy or perhaps giving them a few more days together so they could work out their places in the 'pack'.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Except for your husband's allergies, this would most likely have worked itself out.  Adding a dog to the family take time, patience, and training.If she wasn't right for you, she wasn't right for you. Thanks for trying.  However don't expect that it will be all candy and roses when adding another dog.  Expect Chester to get his nose out of joint, expect the new dog to make mistakes. Expect that there will be arguments. It was two months before we left  our rescue, Clancy, and our Springer alone together.  Clancy and our other doodle and our alpha dog, a lab mix, settled their differences withing 36 hours.  When we got Clancy, he wanted to eat everything. We just kept working with him and one day we realized that he only at his food.  We picked up all toys the dogs considered high value and put them away for future re-introduction.  When we had a foster dog, we crated him when we were not able to supervise.  That guy ate faster than greased lightning and we had to take steps to control it and keep him from eating every one else's food.

  Ned and our Springer sleep on our bed and Clancy is not allowed to. (he can get up for cuddles but not to sleep). That is just the way it is and he accepts it.  This is because Ned and Gordie were here first and claimed bed space and Clancy is too big to add to the mix.

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Hazel you and your husband are wonderful and caring people and I'm sure Blossom felt secure and warm in your family.  Sometimes there is a reason things don't work out and you both and Chester did the best you could have done. God Bless you and your husband.

[Hazel & Chester Wayte]

Thank you - I appreciate all the comments- Yes Blossom is Spayed. I should say that I did reach out to the local IDOG chapter. I will pass on this info to the Dog Resort. She does take in a lot of rescues and helps place them.I bypassed the interview processes as she 'knew me and Chester' which in retrospect maybe wasn't the best idea.

I have to say it was extra hard seeing the cute Golden Doodles January pin up also named 'Blossom'

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Hazel, maybe you can give the dog resort owner the DRC contact information. It's very important that Blossom's next home be her last home, and the DRC has the experience and knowledge to make sure that happens. She really needs to go to an experienced adult dog home, preferably an owner who is experienced with training undersocialized dogs. There are only so many times that a dog can be rehomed before they become unadoptable.

If she does not want to work with the DRC, she needs at the very least to get a vet reference from anyone who is considering adopting her, and to check that vet reference to be sure that all of the current/previous pets were spayed/neutered and UTD on all their vaccines and preventatives. And again, I would not allow her to go to any home with children. She must absolutely not go to a first time dog owning home. People who grew up with dogs doesn;t count, they must have a successful track record of owning their own dogs. Her behavior in your home does indicate a dog who has some dominant tendencies, and this dog really needs an owner who knows how to handle that. Is she spayed? If not, that must be done before she goes to a new home.

It's also not a good idea for the dog's sake for this lady to let people "test her out" in their homes, it is going to make her even more confused and skittish. What she needs more than anything else right now is a stable and consistent routine. 

The adjustments when you bring a new dog into a home with an existing dog take time; usually at least two weeks to a month. It's a huge change for both dogs, and it takes more than a few days. eventually, things almost always work out. The dogs may never be best friends, but they can exist together peacefully.

Whenever I talk to a potantial adopter who has a current dog, I ask them if they have ever had a friend's dog spend the weekend or longer in their home. If not, I tell them to try it. Mant times they are very surprised by their dog's reaction. The same dog who loves playing with other dogs at the dog park or day care feels very different when the other dog is in his home, sharing his space, his toys, his treats, and his people. Again, all of this can be worked out if you really want a second dog, but it does take time. When you bring another dog in, you have to give priority to the first dog. It's common to want to coddle and comfort the new dog and make her feel at home, but you have to resist that. Your first dog has a higher place in the pack, he's earned that, and you are going to make it more difficult for the two of them to work things out if you elevate the new dog's position with extra attention, etc. This means that your dog eats before the newcomer, he gets treats before the newcomer, he gets affection before the newcomer, etc., and his routine should not be altered any more than is necessary because of the new dog's presence.

I'm sorry you had such an emotional holiday. Blossom was clearly not the right dog for you, and I hope she will find the right home soon. If you want to add a second doodle, take your time; the right dog will usually find you.

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

Big kuddos for even trying! Allergies are a big hurdle alone and although DH would probably tolerate it if need be, that's no way to live. As for Chester, maybe with time he would get used to her, and maybe not. It has to feel right and you will know when it is. Good luck with your second doodle quest.

[Jarka, Monty & Auggie]

Sorry it did not work out. But I'm sure it happened for a reason. Hopefully Blossom finds her forever home soon and can get all the love and attention she needs. It is always hard to "rock the boat", and I can't believe I'm saying this, but perhaps bringing an 8 week old new puppy home is easier than bringing a 10 month old. Somehow, the older dog in the house knows when the "new" doodle is not a good fit. I admire all the foster doodle moms and their doodles who are totally cool when a new foster visitor comes home. Monty was fine with little Auggie. Past spring we were going to keep Monty's girlfriend with us for a week while her owners went on vacation. Both dogs have known each other since they were 8 months old and even though they love to meet up and play, Monty got all bossy and was herding her around the house. None of the two dogs were relaxed. It's just a really fascinating dynamics that totally makes no sense to me. So please don't feel like a failure. You did what you could.

[F, Calla & Luca]

BTW she is beautiful.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I am sorry to hear about this. But you made the best decisions that you could. I do think it may have worked out but the allergy problem would not have gotten better. I was very lucky with my two. Integrating Calla, at 4 months, was far easier than having Luca at the beginning as a little puppy.

[Lynda Kamrath]

Too bad things did not work out for you and Blossom.  We had several visitors this summer and my boys loved it. I will continue to try other dogs out with my boys, but we are not ready for a permanent situation.  She looks like such a sweetie.  I'm sure it was very hard on all of you.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Oh, I am so sorry to hear this did not work out for all of you. I have often thought about rescuing another dog, but was afraid to rock the boat, so to speak. I love these dogs I have so much and would hate to upset their lives negatively. I truly think it can be done and would take a lot of time in most situations. In the end, you made the best choice for your family and at least, Blossom has the opportunity to go to a loving home. Please keep us posted. I am sorry it did not work out.