Are You More Impatient Now that You Have Dogs??

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I get accused all the time of worrying more about my dogs than I do the human beings in our household.  I am not saying the accusations are wrong in some cases, but since I speak for my dogs and I love to speak, sometimes I feel I have no choice.  The impatient gene runs in my family and I have passed this gene down to one of my daughters.  In fact, my husband has mentioned on more than one occasion that there should be a support group for men who marry into this family.  I even mentioned it in the speech I had to give at my daughter’s wedding and tried to give her husband a heads up when I told him, the day they were passing out patience, we were running around trying to find a faster line.  So, worrying about the well being of my dogs and thinking things are taking too long is not a good combination if you are married to a man who hails from a long line of thinkers, dilly-dalliers, procrastinators, and out and out slowpokes.  In fact, it may be the worst combination of all and a credit to our denial and avoidance skills that we have stayed married for 34 years.

This weekend, we went out on the boat and it was hot.  Our system is I go get the boat ready and John gets the dogs to do their business one last time before boarding.  I just think that having Fudge and Vern on the boat is a lot like bringing small kids along and when they get to the boat, we should be ready to roll.  We used to have my husband go get the boat ready, but had to change it up after arriving at the boat on more than one occasion, and finding him reading the boat manual or cleaning his sunglasses before he had done any of the things on my our “before Fudge and Vern get on the boat,” list.  I would like to say that I always take the high road when this happens and keep my mouth shut, but I have never liked heights or been very good at suffering in silence. His response is always the same, “I didn’t know we were in a hurry,” as I flap around squawking and complaining that nothing has been done.

It is perfectly understandable that he seems to miss the subtle clues I give while I drive us over to the boat….”get out of my way, Grandma, I am trying to get to our boat…..Pop Pop, if you don’t want to be a hood ornament, move it or lose it.  I am trying to get to our boat.…hold on, I am sure I can beat this car and get us to the boat faster.” 

If I were any subtler with my clues, I would have to carry a cattle prod with me.  He has gotten better about not sharing any new boating tips gleaned from the ever-present manual and I suspect it has something to do with the fact that he senses my disinterest.  Either that, or maybe it is because the the last time he told me the steps we should follow in case of an emergency, I screamed back that I planned on yelling, “every man for himself,” as the dogs and I jumped into the water and could he please help me get this show on the road.

Our new system worked well on Saturday right up until we had to take a kayak up to the car.  We had been bringing the kayak on the pontoon for some time, but we decided to take it back home to make boarding easier and less cumbersome.  My husband had purchased a handy dandy carrier that was supposed to make moving large objects to and from the boat quicker and was anxious to break in his new toy.  As the dogs and I waited on board to start the boat trip, he loaded the kayak onto the carrier and we all watched as it promptly slid off.  He loaded it up again and boom, it slid off again. At this rate, I knew we were in big trouble and made the mistake of saying, “wow, that is a real time saver,” which was not met with a printable response.  Next, he turned to me and said, “you could at least help,” like the woman who has never read a direction or manual in her life would know how to load a kayak onto a carrier that came with directions and a manual.  I am good at reading body language, however, and I quickly determined that now was not a good time to point that inconsistency out and probably should be left for a further discussion.

Eventually, he did get the kayak on the carrier and it seemed to be working until he rounded the first corner and the thing slid off again.  Truthfully, we could have put Fudge and Vern on their regular collars, pointed out a goose or two, and had them pull the thing faster to the car.  By now, the dogs were panting on the boat and I was getting worried that they were overheating and cursing the day I married for love.   I knew I had a choice at that point.  I could either yell over to him across the water that I wished we had purchased a boat with air conditioning or I could keep my mouth shut.  Luckily, I did the latter because it occurred to me that we would soon be spending time alone in a confined space and with the purchase of that super duper carrier, he now had the means to transport a large body from the boat to the car.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

See, I knew impatience was a virtue!!  I am so glad he went to the Doctor!!

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Just happened to think about a positive side to being inpatient and always wanting things fast.  I think that this probably saved my DH's life.  When in FL and were both still working full time we used to get up at 5:00 am to walk before work when it was cool.  DH was strolling, slower and slower.  We would go to the mall and he would say slow down.  Finally one morning I said I'm not getting up at 5am to stroll around the block.  Either pick it up or go to the Dr.  He did, 3 arteries 90% blocked, whewwww, who knew!  Being inpatient prevented that heart attack!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Charlotte, Me, too...I really can't blame it on the dogs :)

Cyndi, Oh, I love that sign :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Nancy, Oh, how I know the feeling :) I laughed all through your comment!! Camping together might cause us to part ways...LOL! It seems like too confined of space for us.

Pat, LOL...I NEVER read manuals :) I leave that up to the experts.

Jane, Yes, I think it is part of the whole "feigned incompetence," thing. Do it wrong or slowly and you won't get asked again.

Sherri, The Doodles are not the problem....LOL!! I know what you mean about those long walks...my favorite thing to do.

Jennifer, Your mom sounds like me when I go on vacation...LOL!! I understand exactly what you are saying :)

Camilla, You have so many more annoying wonderful years ahead of you....LOL!!

Lisa, LOL....your poor DH or should I say"poor you!"

Jennifer, Thanks! I would have preferred to push him into the water....LOL!!

Lucy and Sophie's Mom, Now that you mentioned it, I finish sentences, too. He pauses and it makes me feel like I need to fill the space :) Car shopping with him is a nightmare, because he will just look at the salesman, while I am jabbering away with my life story and every detail he told me not to disclose about our car, etc.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Love this, Laurie.  DH has two jobs when we get ready to 'camp' in the RV.  1) level it and turn on the fridge and put the staples in (condiments, salad dressing etc.). 2) give it a vacuuming and wiping down so I can put all the towels, rugs, bedding in the appropriate CLEAN places.

I have to let the pre-cleaning and fridge loading checks go so I can I pack us all up (don't ever leave packing to the men in my family or you will end up with one change of clothing that  will be weather inappropriate, and no sweatshirt).

I usually get in the RV and my first response is, "What did you do out here when you were supposed to be vacuuming, and wiping?"  That doesn't isn't received well.  But what was he doing?????

[Pat and Traveler]

Hilarious, Laurie!  I love the joke about trying to find a faster line--has that ever worked out for anyone?  I'm a manual reader, too.  Sadly, the manuals never start at the basic level I seem to require:  'Reminder:  this part is that black thingy that looks like a tiny tupperware lid.  No, put the orange square thing down right now--you don't need it until later.' 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Hysterical Laurie...and it does sound very familiar.  I have absolutely no patience.  It really is a curse because I seem to do almost everything myself because I just can't wait for "slow pokes"......DS and DH.  I've often wondered if that is actually their plan.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

I have always been an impatient person. I hate waiting in slow lines, slow traffick etc. I've always done everything really fast. I'm a fast walker and hate getting stuck behind a slow poke. But I've actually found that my doodles have taught me to stop and smell the roses. I love long leisurly walks with them where I don't have to be in a hurry to get anywhere. I like the fact that I no longer work long hourse and my social agenda isn't jam packed. I've accepted the fact that things with the doodles will inevitably take longer because there are so many other considerations when they are going somewhere with me. It just forces you to slow down and not try to control everything at a super fast pace.

[Jennifer and Jack]

As a Jersey Girl who is used to the fast pace of working in an Emergency room, fast pace everything...moved to the south.. it has been a riot... When I first started to live here in SC, people would look at me after I said something and say "Ma'am can you say that again but much slower" It was so funny. I still talk fast..

My mom for sure favors her new daughter Molly to me.. She called me from Disney World said she can't talk but wanted to know how Molly was??? As soon as I told her and went to tell her something about me.. she said she couldn't talk and had to go.. True story..happen this week

As far as being more patient since I got Jack... unfortunately, I have become less patient. less tolerant and less passive and I could not be more grateful...... I am way less patient with people who are mistreating animals, I won't tolerate it if I can help it I will interject.  I used to be very passive and live and let people live and I still do as long as no innocent animal is in danger.

I don't know if it was a getting Jack thing or finding DK... It is kind of weird, in a way DK helped me to find a voice and define more clearly what I believe in and what I will and won't tolerate...

[Camilla and Darwin]

DH hates going on walks with me because I won't let him walk at his normal pace, which is slower than a snail. It's always me looking behind me after a few seconds and realizing he's 20 feet back. And every time we go anywhere it's me sitting in the car while he ambles around inside searching for his other sock. AGONIZING. I finish DH's sentences too!