Yesterday was a hard day for me. It was the three week anniversary I did not want to remember. Filled with fear, I came across card after card that Jess had written me over the years and felt how much this man loves me and how we need to continue our story. Phoebe must have sensed it as she crawled into bed with me for the night and stayed close. (Maybe it is because she is shaved, but I am going for the compassion angle)
I was getting ready to leave this morning and my friend called to remind me that she would be spending the day with me. Surprise no. 1.
I stuffed a $6,800 air conditioning bill in my purse, believing that it was due in May. After a series of phone calls I was told it was paid off. Surprise no.2.
Waiting at Mayo, and waiting and waiting. Jess's surgery was pushed back and they finally took him at three. Nearly three hours later the doctor comes out and tells us the right ventricular support is off! Hell-o -- the right side of his heart is back! A little medication to support it, but mostly it is his right side working. I am delighted, speechless, and for the first time have an appetite. Completely different news from last week. Surprise no. 3, the doc is not giving up on Jess's own heart doing the work for him. His chest is still open and I don't believe it will be closed even if they can turn off the left side so it can be watched. I just pray it all happens soon.
What have I learned for all this? You have to take baby steps, but it is hard. As your mind spins out of control creating a multitude of scenarios, you have to be patient and positive. I have tried my best and know that this journey has a long way to go. I really hope that this series will end with a footnote from Jess himself -- he is a far better writer. Then I can get back into the business of Doodle reporting.
Goodnight all -- thanks for your prayers.
PS Doo is making this high-pitched whistle noise. What is up with that? Is that a Doodle thing or a Phoebe thing? It is very intermittent and rare, yet is is a distinct whistle.
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