Have You Ever Had a Really Dumb Day?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I didn’t sleep well Friday night and neither did my husband.  We talked about it Saturday morning and knew it was because we had listened to the news about the school shootings for most of the night.  Every one of these recent shootings has been hard to hear about and almost impossible for us to wrap our heads around these senseless killings.  Sometimes when you hear about stuff like this in the news it seems so far away and you can convince yourself that you are safe where you live.  Recently, it has been harder to maintain that distance.  My daughter used to live in Aurora, CO, and frequented the movie theater where a gunman opened fire during a midnight showing of The Dark Night Rises.  Megan and her husband go to movies all the time and this is their kind of movie and if they still lived there, they could very well have been in that theater.  Just the other week we had a shooting at a mall in Portland, OR, and my son-in-law works in Portland.  All of this seems to be hitting closer to home and now, a young man burst into an elementary school and killed lots of innocent people and most of them are young children.  If you are like me today, you are feeling sad and out of sorts and I mean no disrespect to any of the people suffering when I say I hope this blog can put a smile on your face. I have always dealt with problems with a sense of humor and short of sitting down and giving up, I don’t know what else to do.  With my mind not working properly on Saturday, I had a very dumb day and I thought maybe if I shared it with all of you, for just a moment we could forget and have a laugh at my expense.

 

John and I got up earlier than usual on Saturday and decided to go to the gym and work out.  On the way over, I was telling him about the recent discussion on here about F taking over DoodleKisses and how I told F she should come on the next cruise with us.  I went on to tell her that John and she could meet and talk about a person who they both love, meaning me, and without missing a beat he said, “Doris?” Well, you guessed it.  We had a good laugh and life seemed good again.  As I was driving, and keep in mind I have gone this route a million times, I noticed the car dealership, Apple Ford, had someone out front in a fruit costume waving to all the cars going by on the highway.  The person would kneel down into his/her costume and then pop up and wave as cars went by.  I wasn’t sure John saw all this going on and I told him to look at the cute little strawberry and wave.  He started laughing and said, “actually, I think it is an apple.”  Of course, it made far more sense for Apple Ford to have someone out front dressed like an apple, but I guess to me, a fruit is a fruit. 

 

Next, I was telling him that my trainer designed this new workout for me and I was still getting used to some of the names of the exercises and having trouble remembering what I was supposed to do for each exercise.  At the red light, I drew the exercises I was supposed to do that day, and the first one was Box Jump and I walked right into it when I asked John what a box jump was and he said, “I imagine you jump on a box.”

It reminded me of when I used to work at Orange Julius in the mall and people would come up and say, “what is the difference between a Chili Dog and a Cheese Dog?” and we were not allowed to say back, “what is the difference between a stupid person and you?”  Actually, I am not one to split hairs, but you actually jump on a step, not a box, at our gym for a Box Jump, so I still think it was a valid question.  I should have stopped there, but I drew a Thruster next and when I asked John if he knew what that one was, he said it had more to do with endurance than strength.  He also said every time he tries to do Thrusters at home, I stop him and tell him I have a headache.  Luckily, I remembered the exercise on my own and didn’t need his help at the gym, because who needs a headache at the gym.

Once we got to the gym and this is our little secret, I had trouble in the restroom figuring out the towel dispenser.  There happens to be a round dial on the side with ridges and I couldn’t get the dial to turn and give me a towel.  I tried and I tried and was just about to give up when I noticed the ridges were there to help guide you in the direction you should turn the dial.  Apparently, I was doing the equivalent of pushing when I should have been pulling instead.

The last time I did anything this stupid was at the airport when I continued to swipe my passport under the receipt slot until the attendant came over and pointed at a sign above a different slot that said in bold print, SWIPE PASSPORTS HERE.  Both times, I looked around to see who was looking and unfortunately, at the airport it was John with a huge grin on his face.

 

I wish I could say it got better after the gym, but it didn’t.  Later on when we went shopping, I continued to amaze John when I had a running dialogue in the car about the day Megan was flying in for Christmas.  Her flight gets in around 12 am on 12/23 and I got confused momentarily and wondered out loud if it meant 12 am late Saturday night or Sunday night.  Boy, did I feel dumb when John calmly said, “you just said she leaves from home around 1 pm on Sunday, so how can you get her before she leaves?”  Well, of course, when you put it that way, the answer is clearer.  Later on in the dressing room with Hayley, I was modeling a skirt for her and asking her opinion and by modeling, I mean gyrating around and saying, “do I look bee-u-tee-ful?” over and over again.  She looked me up and down and said, “mom, you have it on sideways.”  Once I righted it and I can only chalk it up to petty jealousy, she said it looked hideous and then got mad when I said, “Do you think I should get it?”

Just so you can see I was not alone yesterday in the under thinking department, my daughter, the mean one who called me hideous, wore slippers while she shopped with us.  Of course, she denied they were slippers and insisted they were comfortable shoes and kept repeating that she got them at the shoe store.  I finally said, “What shoe store? Slippers R Us?”  Oh boy, did her dander go up, and she shot back that she got them at Kohl’s in the shoe department.  We tried to explain that slippers can be sold in the shoe department and finally, John said they were moccasins, and we winked at each other because we know that is code for slippers.  Well, she got her phone out to look them up on line and prove us wrong and then kept saying her phone was being slow, which we all know is code for they are slippers.  I hope Santa brings me a pair of those comfy shoes, although he might be confused because I asked for slippers.

 

I was supposed to bake cookies last night, but I fell asleep early.   The dogs went to bed with me, but Vern and I got up around the same time at midnight.  I realized then that under thinking can wear a person and dog out, but since it is easier to charge back up again, sometimes you are ready to go long before one of those over thinkers.  I have no idea what to do with this knowledge, but someone else will figure it out. Meanwhile, I feel confident that my mojo is back and today will be a smarter day.

 

P.S.  I really do hope no one thinks I mean any disrespect to anyone suffering and I hope a laugh at my expense helped you feel better about the state we are in, if only for a moment.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Sheila, Thank you so much for a wonderful comment :)

[Sheila & Finnley]

Aaah Laurie, you just keep on doing what you do. You are a gifted and funny doodler, and DK is lucky to have you and your uplifting blogs. Thank you !

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Nancy, OMD...how funny. Of course I agree with you..almonds should be in Banana Walnut Pancakes :)

Carol, Thank you very much!!

Bonnie, I gave up ice skating a long time ago. Now, I wonder if I could still roller skate. You were brave to give it a try. Thank you for your comment.

Jennifer, Thank you for a great comment. It is so heartbreaking, you almost don't want to turn the TV on. I loved all of your training stories, Doodles :)

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

Wow, Here I have the news on and the President is reading all the names of the victims and tears are running down my face as I read this-you DID make me laugh! You always do! Our thoughts are constantly going back to that horrifying breaking news report. Turning the tv off doesn't make it go away. Hug your family as much as you can!! (poor DOODS)

On another note, your cartoon with the Push?Pull on the door is what really got me...I'm walking at a fast pace down the hall with someone "training" me who happens to be a big dumb smart a** and we get to a double door and we're talking and he goes on his side of the door and pushes on through, I push on the right side and slam right into it-he just says "SEE THE HINGES??" NO! I'm listening to my trainer and had faith in him! We laughed so hard-from that day forward I have a lot of DUMB days and they get their laughs at my expense! They have also started calling me "DOODLES" because my car plates say 2DOODLS and we have 3 Jennifers in my department they took it upon them selves to change my name! I have lots of other terrifying training oopsies, but if I went on-I would be lost late getting to work!! Thanks again Laurie!

[Bonnie and Kona]

Oh Laurie, I started reading and doubted I would laugh, but you did it! Thank you for writing this blog and making me feel better. I laughed at the Doris comment but laughed continuously through the slipper vs shoe description. I have a pair of "ballet flats" that my granddaughter insists are my slippers. I can't convince her otherwise. I just wear them anyway. ;o) 

My DH and I took the grandkids ice skating in Union Square in San Francisco yesterday. Talk about DUMB! We grew up in Wisconsin and skated every winter. Why wouldn't we still know how to skate??? We have bruises to prove that we are two big dummies. It is not like riding a bike. Once you get to this age I think balance is on it's way out. And we discovered that ice is much, much slipperier than we could ever have imagined. 

[Carol and Banjo]

Thanks for making me laugh Laurie.   It takes  a special person who's willing to laugh at her own "dumbness" and invite others to laugh with her.   I love your blogs.  

It's been a horrendous few days, but I take some comfort in knowing that we've been able to "share the hurt" here.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I must have been showing my 'upsetness' also on Saturday when my dh and I went out to breakfast and I asked the waitress what kind of nuts were in the banana walnut pancakes......  She looked so confused and I can't imagine why.  I was hoping for almonds in my banana walnut pancakes but, well, I got walnuts.  Sadly, I think I have used up all of my smarter days.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Ronna, You are welcome and thank you for your comment!!

Pat, My memory is going, too. I have waved my hands under the towel dispenser before, just not yesterday :) LOL  Thank you!!

Adrianne, I heard a little girl singing at the top of her lungs today in Target and it made me smile. I love the way children embrace the season and even more so, since the tragedy on Friday. I can't imagine two weeks in a hotel with my dogs :) I always try and remember that it could always be worse. I am not always successful, but I try. I guess I should have gone back to bed on Saturday.

Camilla, Thank you!!

F, When are you going to learn? Take them out to dinner and avoid the fuss. I knew you would appreciate the Doris comment :) He is funny...most of the time. I won't even begin to tell you the dialogue tonight as he helped me roll my date balls. Thank you for speaking English...LOL!! I hate to yell!

Cheryl, Thank you!! He makes me laugh, too, and that is probably why we are still married.

Deanna, I remember those days with my own kids. Luckily, you can send Kayla back to mom and dad at some point :)

Karen, Glad I could help :) LOL

[Ronna, Murphy & Wilson]

Thank you for making me laugh !

[Pat and Traveler]

I can't even begin to get my head around these horrible killings, and truly appreciate your blog.  I think my dumb days are getting closer and closer together--fortunately, my memory is going, so I don't remember for sure.  :)  I've done many dumb things having to do with restroom sinks and towel dispensers--like waving my hands under some that you're supposed to crank...and of course, there's always somebody watching!