I am Leaving On A Jet Plane...

[Jennifer and Jack]

Well I am hoping to be leaving on a jet plane,. With all the luggage I have, I am not sure we ever will make it off the ground.

Finally after a whole year of waiting, doing fund raising, and waiting for my insurance to change so I can go out of state. I am this Saturday headed to National Jewish Hospital. I will be gone at least 14 days, maybe a little longer.  National Jewish is one of the top Cystic Fibrosis Hospitals in the Country but more importantly then then they are THE TOP IN THE WORLD for the type of bacteria I have in my lungs that in spite of over six months of treatment, losing partial hearing from treatment as well as my balance has decided my lungs are just too cool so the bacteria won't die.

At this point I pretty much understand I most likely won't get rid of it but, if anyone but God can, National Jewish can. I will be seen by the top experts for two solid weeks, lots of tests being run, care plans, and possible some talk of some surgery to prevent my airway from closing up, another to prevent reflux from going into my lungs.. You know just your normal things a girl does on vacation.. some of you go to the beach and sun yourselves, some go skiing, cruising, Me, I go with my good friends to the hospital!!

I am blessed beyond blessed and I can't help but share with you and I hope it is okay.. because I know I say that a lot. At first I was going to go to the hospital with my friend, I would not let my mom come because I want Jack to be well cared for and I trust my mom to do that, Jack loves her... My friend Kara was going to go with me but then I realized how expensive everything was so I decided to go alone..... As blessed as I am, Kara ended up being able to go with me for the first eight days, then I have two other friends that will be with me getting me back to the airport and everything.

Now the cooler coolest part, This trip in spite of the fund raisers, and all the money my parents were going to give me was going to still drain my bank account and I mean drain.. I was such a stress case about it because between that and also thinking I was going to have to sell my house now that I cant work.. It was a lot of pressure

Two weeks ago, I put in to refinance my house, I never thought I would get approved, especially since I am not working, but technically I am still employed. My credit score has taken a few punches because of late paying bills, I had a freak out the other day.. Wanted to cancel the trip, was really upset. I called the mortgage company and asked them the status of my refinance. They said it was going to be weeks before they knew... I ended up driving around that night with Jack.. just praying and crying and eating Mc Donald's and praying and finally I went home and said to myself there is nothing more I can do. 

 I think I was overwhelmed, exhausted and none of my friends were available to chat so it was me, Jack, McDonalds and some Jack Johnson on the radio

I slept for 14 hours and when I woke up it was the mortgage company, Somehow my loan was approved and not only that it was approved for immediate closing. I am going tomorrow to sign my closing paperwork.

I can keep my house!! The very house that I dreamed of when I was in nursing school, It is a small three bed room but big master bedroom with big sink in tub.. and a nice back yard for Jack and a fire place for me.

Now that didn't change the fact that when I got back from my trip my bank account was still going to be empty.. something that freaks me immensely.... but I was so excited about how God came through.. for my friend Kara to be able to go on the trip for my friends Jami, and Kendra to be there with me was well after Kara leaves..

I got another phone call, Guess what? Somehow I am getting a nice refund for some reason or another when I close one my house!!!!! MOney in the bank.. YES... Guess what again?? You probably know this but I didn't? They don't have you pay your first months mortgage when you refinance.. YAY I get to keep Aprils money!!!!!

Next time I worry, please slap me....

Now on Saturday afternoon if you see a big jet rolling down the highways from US Airways headed to Denver, do not be alarmed for that will be my flight, I fear my seven bags of medications, IV equipment, oxygen, and pumps are going to be so heavy they ground us.... and we will have to roll our way there!!!

I have my blanket from Laurie all ready to be packed and I have all the love of you guys tucked in my hearts. and of course my IPAD, I will check in when I can.. I am staying in the Holiday Inn on Colorado ave.... real close to the hospital. so if anyone wants to meet up let me know, I will see how I am feeling.

I know I share a lot of personal information, and I know a lot of people are not like that. I have always been an open book, it is just my personality, In doing so my hope is that you can see that even when life doesnt turn out the way you want, and believe me, I dreamed my whole life of being a stay at home mom to human children, and being married and so many other things, if you look close enough and you have faith to believe you can see the hand of God.

With that I don't know what will happen when I go to get out of bed, who knows what todays trials will bring.... but when I get the chance to show you something amazing ... I just want to...because I want everyone to have hope, to have faith to believe and to keep going even when it seems impossible.. and right now friends, doing what I am doing day in and day out sucks sour grapes.. but I have hope and faith, and all my family and DK friends

Look out Denver, here we come in four days, if we can get the plane off the ground!!!

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

Jennifer,

You are a very amazing person.  God put you in all of our lives for a reason.  You continually inspire other people.   All of us DK'ers are extremely blessed to have you as a part of our circle of friends.

[Jennifer and Jack]

Thanks, every time I look at Jack my heart melts....I am going to miss him so much!!!! So so much!

[Charlotte and Bo]

 I have to say I have nothing but admiration for your fight and and your faith. I wish you only the best.

[Jennifer and Jack]

Thanks our plane lands at 1 40 pm Denver time. Assuming there are no delays or anything. Thanks again for all your love and prayers.

[Pat and Traveler]

Jennifer--such good news!  Prayers and fingers crossed and paws up for you, from Trav and me.  I'm sure that plane will get off the ground, and fly you to the help you need.  We'll keep Jack and your mom in our prayers too, and hope he won't be mad at you when you get home.  :)

[Lynn D.]

What time do you get into DEN?

[Joan, Louie and Mila]

Jen I wish you all the best and miracles do happen ..you have proven that!!!.I'll keep you in my prayers. Hugs...

[Jennifer and Jack]

Thank you again, I have all my clothes ready. Most of my medications packed, and all my paperwork in order. My heart gets a pull on it when I look at Jack. I have been spending a lot of extra special attention to him, lots of pets, hugs, walks. I think for sure I will miss him more then he will miss me, He will be with my mom and Molly, and as much as I really, really wanted my mom to be with me and believe me she wanted to be... I just could not leave Jack where I would be wondering if he was okay, being loved on etc.

I  cuddle with him at night, he sleeps in my arms and I twist his hair between my fingers as I fall asleep. I will know that this is best for both of us.

I have already been in contact with National Institute of Health in Maryland and also Johns Hopkins. Those are more for mapping my DNA, I have really weird DNA, and it is not something they have ever seen in a CF patient, so a lot of the other hospitals, while it won't change much for me, it will help our family to understand the one crazy gene better and more then anything it will save a new family that gets diagnosed with the same genes as me the sheer hell it has been going through being diagnosed, undiagnosed and rediagnosed.

I guess I am just rambling on here... but everything I can think of it in order,  I am ready. I am nervous. I always get nervous when I meet new doctors because sometimes they are not entirely into taking on my case because it is so complicated..but National Jewish is known to be helpful, and if nothing else, They will help with this bacteria.. I want off these IVs...every morning I wake up and I dream of the day I able to go back to work.... My name badge is next to my bed... and I can't wait to put it on and go. To get my parents to stop paying most of my bills and to get some things for myself that I really want. For now I will rest in the love and the fact that I was so blessed with being able to refinace my house at a rate that I can now keep it. I pretended for a long time that I didn't care if I had to sell it. I put on a front for my parents so I didn't disappoint.. but now that I know I can afford it on my own.. I can let myself feel how thrilled I am that I get to get my very own home!!!! YAY

[Adrianne Matzkin]

So thrilled for you Jennifer!!! Paws crossed that your roll of good luck continues and the doctors are listening to all those who support and truly care!!!

[Rose Ann and Amante]

Good Luck to you I will send you prayers and well wishes. Please let us know how you are doing, I am a bit of a worry wart!!