I Forgot Something!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

It happened again yesterday.  I forgot something.  The older I get the less I seem to remember.  I spend hours each week searching for my car keys, my phone, my purse, and my glasses.  And if I am truthful, I have even forgotten where I parked my car in a parking lot.  Sometimes, I wonder how I got anything done when I worked, but maybe it is because I now lose so much time just trying to find something.  It usually starts with my car keys.  I go to take the dogs for their walk and can’t find my keys.  John tells me to put them in the same spot each day when I get home, but I forget to do that, too.  In my defense, if I come home with keys in hand and the dogs are home, I am usually trying to fend them off at the door and just get in the house.  The only benefit to their exuberant greeting is I often forget to take my keys from the door lock and I now know to start there when my keys go missing.  It has gotten so bad that John refuses to let me touch his car keys.

 

The home phone is another issue.  Someone set the answering machine to two rings before the machine picks up, which means I have a very limited time to find the phone when I get a call.  The kids like to call on the home phone and then hang up immediately when the answering machine comes on.  I have asked them repeatedly to start talking into their phone in the hopes that a long-winded response will allow me to find the phone. Instead, as I scramble around looking for the home phone, my cell phone starts ringing and starts another search for that phone.  Megan will call the house, then my cell, and finally John’s phone, in such rapid succession that I am sure there has to be some kind of major emergency, only to finally find a phone and have her say, “what are you doing?”  She gets mad when I say, “trying to Google how to place a call block on three phones because some pesky person won’t leave me alone.”  The past two weeks I have only been able to find one of the home phone handsets…we have two…which means that when I forget to charge the one phone I can find, I have absolutely no way to answer the phone.  Luckily, I was doing laundry yesterday and looked down to see the other handset on the ground.  Who knows how it got there? 

 

Don’t get me started on my glasses.  Unless I am wearing them, I can’t find them and even then, I might forget they are on top of my head.  I walked the dogs the other day in my reading glasses. I am near sighted.  Keep in mind I drove to the park and can’t explain why I didn’t figure it out until I was already down the street.  The way I figure it, it is only a matter of time until someone finds me wandering at the park saying, “I forgot where I put my dogs!”

 

Yesterday, John and I were out all day and came home late. I wanted to take the dogs for a walk to tire them out and so we drove up to our local park.  It was only when we got there that I discovered we had forgotten their leashes.  We were tired and because I pride myself on never turning back, I made an executive decision.  I assured John that this had happened before, and I had a plan.  In the past, I have used a belt and a scarf as makeshift leashes and I was prepared to find something in the car to use this time, too.  The trick is to avoid all people, places, and things, in case the leashes don’t work out.  Vern is the number one puller of all times. We have tried every leash, every collar, and every harness.  I have walked him with love and I have walked him with hate.  Truthfully, it is like walking a bull on the way to a rendezvous with a cute little cow in pasture A. 

 

Somebody I know on Facebook recently wrote that everyone should be able to walk their dog with one finger IF they are in touch with their dog.  I can barely walk Vern sometimes with one whole hand and an arm and I am not about to lose my finger, which I might need when I see some guy waving while walking his dog with one finger.  I have settled on a prong collar and I don’t really care what the critics say, because Vern gives no indication that he even knows he is wearing one.  None!  He is as happy with it on as off and he rolls so often that he turns the thing inside out.  He does occasionally give me the courtesy of a backwards glance when I shout, “Easy, Vern!”  I get the feeling he is thinking, “I hear what you are saying and I choose to disregard it.” 

 

Luckily, we had one 30 foot long leash in the car yesterday and a bungee cord.  John said we could hook one dog to the leash and tie the other end to the other dog, but he was taking too long to make it happen, so I said I would just use the bungee cord.  Several times, John mentioned that seemed like a bad idea, but I was tired and wanted to get home to watch a Christmas Hallmark movie.  So, I hooked the bungee cord to Vern’s regular collar and off we went and by off we went, I mean the give and take of the bungee cord allowed Vern lots of leeway.  Did I mention it was icy out and John kept saying he didn’t think this was my best idea ever?  Did I also mention that as John kept chiding me, I was thinking about using that one finger?  Well, I can be stubborn, but I could quickly see John was right and his one leash idea might have been the better solution.  I mean I didn’t want to end up in the ER with the doctor asking me how I broke a hip and lost an eye.  It felt like I would be one Psych evaluation away from being held on a 72-hour watch if I answered, “I was walking my 110 pound dog with a bungee cord.”

 

The good thing was John only said, “hmmmm, I wonder where you came up with that idea,” when I said, “I think we should tie the other end of the leash onto Vern’s collar.”  There was no “I told you so,” and I didn’t have to use that one finger after all. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jenny, I am glad you enjoyed the blog. I have been so busy lately, I haven't had much time to write. Walking Vern would be a nightmare :) LOL

Bonnie, My husband forgets the dogs when he lets them out. Now, each night in bed my last question to him is, "are the dogs in the house?"

DJ, Vern can stretch it enough to make me lose an eye :) OMD....poor Chance. Does someone need to come rescue him? LOL

Cheryl, LOL...John must be the world's greatest pessimist then....because he kept stating I was not too bright with my bungee cord idea :) 

Sally, I did the bowl thing and never remembered to put the keys in the bowl. I need a Personal Assistant, I think. LOL

DonMarie, I have the same finger for that guy :) I think I do all the right things, but I must be deluding myself. LOL 

Sally, Sorry about your cousin. That hurt! I fell with both dogs walking over a small bridge in the rain. Not fun. I had my priorities straight. I never dropped their leashes :) I have been seeing ads for Tile. I may check it out.

Thanks, Jane. We are in the process of implementing the back up leashes plan now.

[Jenny and Cooper]

LOL!!! Thank you for the bedtime story! I never have time during the day to read your blogs. So today, I decided to read it in bed before snoozing off. Totally enjoyed the story! Maybe I'll dream about walking Vern tonight! Haha!

[Bonnie and Kona]

Oh DJ! Forgetting Chance in the closet! My DH will forget the dogs in the garage if he walks in, they follow and he walks out. Owen will yodel like nobody's business but if Kona is alone he doesn't make a peep. I will notice him missing and do the search. Poor babies. 

[DJ & Chance]

ROFL.  How many yards can Vern stretch a bungee cord when he is after a cute little cow?  I'm having fun with this image!  

I also forget things all the time.  The worst is forgetting Chance when I walk into a closet, walk out, and fail to recognize that he is napping with my shoes.  I always shut the closet door--to protect the shoes--and then later I begin to miss him and begin a frantic hunt through the house.  He never barks or howls but will give out a little whimper when I approach the closet where he has been "forgotten."

[DonMarie and Picco]

Good idea Sally......Now if you can actually remember to put the bowl near the door!  ;-)

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Love this blog. I'm convinced losing things is the reason they invented "retirement" :)  When I read that you used a bungee cord, I thought "gotta love Laurie, she's the world's greatest optimist :)

[Sally M]

Some people keep a bowl by their front door and drop there keys in it when they get home. When they leave, they just get them out of the bowl. We're thinking about doing this. Between the both of us, we lose keys on a regular basis...like daily.

[DonMarie and Picco]

I park in the same spots, put my keys in the same place, same with the phone.  But then there are those occasional exceptions that happen too frequently with "where did I put that?!?!"  I think I only use the landline to find my cell phone!

I got a finger for the person that walks their dog with one finger. Nobody is that tuned into their dog and if this is true then that's an awfully boring dog. Or a really strange person!

You're not insane when you realized you did something stupid like leash a dog with a bungee cord. But we all do stupid creative things under duress! 

[Deborah Shafer]

Oh my Sally. I could see that happening easily. Bless her. Sounds painful. Glad no broken bones. Hey message with me. I'll help with your tile.

[Sally M]

My cousin was walking her two dogs in the dark, the other night. One of the dogs made a right turn right in front of her. Down she went. Sprawled out on the sidewalk. Even though she had long pants on and a coat, she skinned her knee, her knuckles and the palms of her hands. But, she held on to the leashes! She was at least a block away from home and had hobble home all bloodied. Her body hurt the next day from the "jolt". And her right shoulder took the brunt of the "jolt" and that is still hurting, days later. It hurts to think about it. And BTW, Laurie, you are not alone with losing everything...I also have a problem with keys, glasses, phones, remote controls (once I tried to answer the phone with the remote)...you name it and I've lost it. Deborah, last Christmas we received Tiles. I never figured out how to use it.