It's Bitter Sweet(ie)

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

It's been a week and I can't stop thinking about the dog who got away.  I think, I will always feel this way about my three-week fostering of a Goldendoodle puppy I named Sweetie. 

Although I am filled with mixed emotions,  I feel more lucky to have had this experience.   At the time I really did not want to foster. I wanted nothing to do with rescues. I did not want another dog who drained my energy and emotions.  Sometimes, we think we are healing these poor rescues but surprisingly, they may just be healing our broken hearts instead.

After I decided to take on this challenge, after I met her, it was then I found out, she was the baby sister of my own Spud.  Although I was not able to contact the original breeder the address was the very same.  How ironic!  What are the odds?   Not only was the address the same, I had a female version of Spud in every way, shape, form, and fur!

A true Nature vs Nurture story.  They were so much alike I sat all day in awe of them.  Odd, Spud knew she was one of him also.  The interactions were beautiful.   It is hard to explain it all here and maybe too sentimental for me to share all the joy I had with helping this baby girl.  There really may be something to the idea that dogs know more than we can ever understand about the animal world.

She was exactly like him in every way, although she did it with a dainty, tomboy approach.  Wonderful.

When DRC interviews you, they ask what you want for this dog?  What do you think she needs in the perfect forever home?  What is needed so this dog NEVER has to loose a home again?

I had my list ready and at the top of the list I wrote, ' a home that is better than I can give'   A tough act to follow considering I had her mentor right here. I had her real brother, I have a fenced- in yard, I already had established forever love, ................. I felt I had it all but life is not always what you want. 

My DK friends, some situations are difficult to explain.   All I can say is she was the right dog at the wrong time.  I'll leave it all at that for now.   I can't help but think she was the "perfect dog" I had to pass up. I let her get away.  But not without giving this a lot of thought, passing on my own selfish desires, and thoroughly weighing all the options.  When  you foster you have a job to do.  It is not always just about love. It is about a forever life of a dog that is entrusted into your care.  It's really all about them.

So I reluctantly worked really hard to find her a place that could offer her all the love this Sweetie could ever have and more than I had to offer.

I'm so happy to say, my worked paid off.  She has a doodle sister!!!  Number two on my list.  She has a lake.  Somewhere on that list I noticed water was a must have for this girl.  F.J. said she had a 'Jesus Syndrome'.  She was constantly jumping in water, constantly sticking her paws in water and playing in the water dish.  Many times she stuck her whole face in the water dish.  Okay, I think you have to know my husband's humor and been here for that joke.  Skip it.

She has a trainer!  Yes, her own aunt is  a dog trainer.   Built right into her family. 

She has a loving and experianced family who can provide her with what she needs and more.  I would love to BRAG about them, but I think I would be giving personal and confidential information out about the adopter.  So I must leave out all the greatness.  Know that it is there.

My loss, their gain--for dog ownership that is.  But Sweetie gave me more than I can explain.

I want to thank Sweetie for all the heart healing she did for me.  She restored my faith about a lot of things.   I do wonder if she came to heal my thoughts about dogs, re-homes, life, rescues, ownership,  issues, and love or was I helping her instead?  Whatever it is, it is Priceless.  Impossible for me to put here in words.

My first doodle foster, Lacey, well, now her family is my constant strength.  I got Lacey through some tough times, but her mom has done way more for me than I can ever hope for in a friendship.  Her mom tells me, "Life really is a full circle"   :)  She tells me,  I will know why this all happened the way it did, in due time.   Thanks Sarah!

Many of you asked. So many, I thought I would let you know, she is one LUCKY DOODLE GIRL!  

Meet Lily.   Her mother says she reminds her of a Calla Lily.  Soft, beautiful, white, and wonderful.  (More ironic symbolism here).   For Lily and me, it was all meant to be. 

Thanks Sweetie, for coming into my life.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

How did I miss this?  I think you needed Sweetie to heal your heart as you stated.  I am sorry it was the wrong time to be your furever home though, but what is is.  Best of luck to Sweetie.

[Colleen, Jake & Baxter]

It is bitter sweet(ie) isn't it when the time comes for them to leave your care for their forever home.  I know Sweetie knew she was loved by you.  I know that while it has been difficult for me to let the fosters go I know they are going to the best family possible for them.  Thank you for taking care of this sweet doodle:+)

[David Spitzer]

What a sweet story.  As someone looking for their next dog I can only hope that she comes from such a concerned foster parent.

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Joanne - I've been traveling and haven't been on much - I just read this over my morning coffee.  Then I had to go back and read everyone's comment.  Of course I'm crying - there is nothing left to add except that although I've never met you - I think you are one in a million!!!! 

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Thank you all for everything.  For this dog, my last dog, and the next dog. 

[Becka]

Thanks for sharing this, Joanne. The openness and warmth in your heart and in your home are breathtaking and so inspiring.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Ann, my pictures were horrible from that wonderful day. I was having such a great visit with you, I just could care less about the camera. It really was the best visit for us. Glad you at least understood the Rogers's joke. You made me laugh with this post. And Kelly made me laugh all day. Glad she was not muzzled ;)

[Leslie and Halas]

You gave Sweetie a wonderful new start in life.  It's so special that she was able to help you through some things, too.  If/when you are meant to have another doodle, you'll know when the time and the doodle are right for you.  Thanks so much for fostering Sweetie!

[Ann Kendig]

Joanne, I know you and Roger struggled with what to do.  It is a bitter-sweet time for all of you.  It sounds like you found a wonderful home for Sweetie and that will give you some comfort.  Thanks to you, Roger and Spud for everything you did for Sweetie.  You done good!!  : )

After experiencing the 'Jesus Syndrome' (Love this) first hand with Sweetie I can see how much she will enjoy the pond. I know you miss her but you won't have to change the drinking water so much!  lol  Take some time to take some deep breaths, relax, and focus on Spud.  When, and if, you decide to get another dog you will know when it's the right time.  Both of us have fostered and rehomed a sibling of our dogs recently.  Oh, what a decision to have to make. But, we gotta do what we gotta do and trust we made the right decision.  We will always miss them and hold them close in our hearts.  Hugs to all of you.

This isn't a very good photo and I could shoot myself for not taking more photos the day we visited.  Someone had to keep an eye on Kelly!  I think she needed a muzzle!!!  lol

[Bonnie and Kona]

Bless you, Joanne. You have a huge heart and Sweetie just came to fill it a bit more with her love for you to share with others. Tears are flowing thinking of you and the losses you have faced in such a short time, but there was so much love given and received in the process. hugs and doodle kisses...