It's Bitter Sweet(ie)

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

It's been a week and I can't stop thinking about the dog who got away.  I think, I will always feel this way about my three-week fostering of a Goldendoodle puppy I named Sweetie. 

Although I am filled with mixed emotions,  I feel more lucky to have had this experience.   At the time I really did not want to foster. I wanted nothing to do with rescues. I did not want another dog who drained my energy and emotions.  Sometimes, we think we are healing these poor rescues but surprisingly, they may just be healing our broken hearts instead.

After I decided to take on this challenge, after I met her, it was then I found out, she was the baby sister of my own Spud.  Although I was not able to contact the original breeder the address was the very same.  How ironic!  What are the odds?   Not only was the address the same, I had a female version of Spud in every way, shape, form, and fur!

A true Nature vs Nurture story.  They were so much alike I sat all day in awe of them.  Odd, Spud knew she was one of him also.  The interactions were beautiful.   It is hard to explain it all here and maybe too sentimental for me to share all the joy I had with helping this baby girl.  There really may be something to the idea that dogs know more than we can ever understand about the animal world.

She was exactly like him in every way, although she did it with a dainty, tomboy approach.  Wonderful.

When DRC interviews you, they ask what you want for this dog?  What do you think she needs in the perfect forever home?  What is needed so this dog NEVER has to loose a home again?

I had my list ready and at the top of the list I wrote, ' a home that is better than I can give'   A tough act to follow considering I had her mentor right here. I had her real brother, I have a fenced- in yard, I already had established forever love, ................. I felt I had it all but life is not always what you want. 

My DK friends, some situations are difficult to explain.   All I can say is she was the right dog at the wrong time.  I'll leave it all at that for now.   I can't help but think she was the "perfect dog" I had to pass up. I let her get away.  But not without giving this a lot of thought, passing on my own selfish desires, and thoroughly weighing all the options.  When  you foster you have a job to do.  It is not always just about love. It is about a forever life of a dog that is entrusted into your care.  It's really all about them.

So I reluctantly worked really hard to find her a place that could offer her all the love this Sweetie could ever have and more than I had to offer.

I'm so happy to say, my worked paid off.  She has a doodle sister!!!  Number two on my list.  She has a lake.  Somewhere on that list I noticed water was a must have for this girl.  F.J. said she had a 'Jesus Syndrome'.  She was constantly jumping in water, constantly sticking her paws in water and playing in the water dish.  Many times she stuck her whole face in the water dish.  Okay, I think you have to know my husband's humor and been here for that joke.  Skip it.

She has a trainer!  Yes, her own aunt is  a dog trainer.   Built right into her family. 

She has a loving and experianced family who can provide her with what she needs and more.  I would love to BRAG about them, but I think I would be giving personal and confidential information out about the adopter.  So I must leave out all the greatness.  Know that it is there.

My loss, their gain--for dog ownership that is.  But Sweetie gave me more than I can explain.

I want to thank Sweetie for all the heart healing she did for me.  She restored my faith about a lot of things.   I do wonder if she came to heal my thoughts about dogs, re-homes, life, rescues, ownership,  issues, and love or was I helping her instead?  Whatever it is, it is Priceless.  Impossible for me to put here in words.

My first doodle foster, Lacey, well, now her family is my constant strength.  I got Lacey through some tough times, but her mom has done way more for me than I can ever hope for in a friendship.  Her mom tells me, "Life really is a full circle"   :)  She tells me,  I will know why this all happened the way it did, in due time.   Thanks Sarah!

Many of you asked. So many, I thought I would let you know, she is one LUCKY DOODLE GIRL!  

Meet Lily.   Her mother says she reminds her of a Calla Lily.  Soft, beautiful, white, and wonderful.  (More ironic symbolism here).   For Lily and me, it was all meant to be. 

Thanks Sweetie, for coming into my life.

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

Joanne,

I am so glad that you posed this.  I am literally crying after reading it.  I could tell how much this girl "got to you."  I know the timing was pretty crazy for you to foster her.  You are such a WONDERFUL person to have fostered her & found her a forever home.  I know it is tearing you up inside that you let her go.  There will be another wonderful dog that will come into your life at the right time.  These decisions are soooo hard sometimes.  This post means more to me thanI can express here today of all days.  Please go give your Spud a nice big hug!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

"  I do wonder if she came to heal my thoughts about dogs, re-homes, life, rescues, ownership,  issues, and love or was I helping her instead? "

Both, Joanne. She did and you did. It was meant to me.

And you will see the bigger picture one of these days.

I had a foster years ago who I stll call "the one who got away", and I do understand the reason for everything that happened now. It all helped me know how to help the one who was really meant to be here....my Jack.

You did a wonderful thing for Sweetie, and you wrote the story beautifully. Happy tails to you, Lily, may you live happily ever after with your perfect new family.

And hugs to you, Joanne. :)

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

You gave her a beautiful life! Beautiful you!

[Sharon & Monty]

OMD~ i really was thinking you would keep this wonderful dog.  But that you gave her up to a family that could do at least if at most more........OMD!  I truly hope that this has been a good thing for you.  You saved her, you nurtured her.  These are things that many doggies wish for.  Thank you Joanne for all your hard work.  Best days ahead for Sweetie.  Can you feel me slapping you on the back for a job well done.  :)

[Pam and Ginger Snap]

She was lucky to have you help make her life "sweet"  Hopefully the old owner will update you on her progress.

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

After all the selfish "I'm dumping my dog" posts we've seen lately, this is just what I needed to restore my faith in human-kind!!  How wonderful that your were THERE, just when Sweetie needed a THERE and that her new, forever family is ready for her now!!

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

It is so wonderful not only that you fostered the sweetest Lily but that you were totally selfless in your deeds and thoughts.  Thank you for your kindness, for being here and enriching all of our lives here on DK, thank you for sharing what for you was tinged with bitter sweet but that ultimately was the perfect gift, the gift of love.

[Carol and Banjo]

Joanne,  You are one of the reasons I love DK.   To know there really are selfless, kind people out there who are willing to work tirelessly for a dog who is "down and out" makes this world a better place.   Thank you for being there for Sweetie Lily.      This photo is perfect in every way.

[F, Calla & Luca]

What a lovely tribute to Sweetie Lily and ironically to you. I am so happy she is in a good place and that you are OK. As the owner of a Calla Lily myself, named after the flower, may I say it is a lovely name although my sweetie is called Calla as you know.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I know how hard this has been for you in many ways, Joanne.  I do believe that you and Sweetie came together for a reason...healing, love, and new beginnings.  I'm so proud of you for all that you did for this wonderful girl at a time when you were dealing with so much loss yourself.