Resolving boundary Issues

[The Kleins, Tempe, AZ]

My mind has been in conflict trying to construct my emotional state. I have set boundaries for my fear and boundaries for my hope. This conflict has resulted in such stress on my body that I trust a trip to a cardiologist can sort me out. I have done the stress test before. This is where you get to walk or run half naked on a treadmill while a young pimply faced technician gets to look at your boobs, wired of course. This test will take place after a morning at Mayo. Do you think I have a shot at passing?

Jess is still classified as critical (fear). Jess has also remained stable without any device support (hope). I continue this tightrope walking, too fearful to look down to see if there is a net.

On the first night of this journey the doctor forewarned, “bad happens fast, good happens slow.” We are at three and one-half weeks. Is it time for some good? Can we make good happen fast? Can I run on that rope and make it to the other side without looking down? Tip a pink satin top hat and bow to an adoring crowd as my handsome husband greets me on the other side? Can this happen tomorrow?

Tomorrow's plan is to close Jess in the morning. This would be wonderful. There is a possibility to place in a device if needed, but the doc speculates it may not be. I pray Jess can stay on a healing path and grow his heart strong enough so he will wake up and speak with us. He also needs to be able to watch “March Madness” which has never been missed. I wouldn't be surprised if he says, "Oh hi honey, were is the remote?" Can you believe this? No device and some serious stitching? I could be talking to him by next week! Grab those doodles and pray -- this is huge!

I will close tonight with an anecdote about Phoebe and her resolved boundary issues.
We have a step-down living room. It is a very short step, however Phoebe would never step into the room. I would sit in the living room reading, coaxing her to my side, and she would stay above the step, cocking her head from side to side. She also would not walk over hoses or vacuum cords. Fear of boundaries.

After an episode of pulling on the upholstery in the den, I do not see Phoebe. She had her “bewitching” hour, got a little rowdy and then -- where was she and why silence? Out of curiosity I walked to the front room, low and behold, look who was making herself comfortable in a living room chair.

Phoebe has taught me to let go of the fear. I go into tomorrow without limitations knowing that something good can happen and it is about time.

[Denise, Winnie, and AngelAbby]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you - always...

[Missi]

Good luck on your stress test, it's great of you to take care of yourself during all of this. Sounds to me like it is time for some good news for Jess, let's hope he gets it today. Go Phoebe for facing your fears! Lizzie had a similar story this morning... Janet, you are an amazing person to keep your sense of humor and resolve during these times. Thank you for sharing that with us.

[Beverly Wright]

Janet,
This is such a beautiful story! We can learn so much for our pups! Phoebe knows in her own way what is happening and she is trying so hard to help! This is exciting news about Jess........anyday with any bit of improvement is a great day. Good luck at the cardiologist...we will be praying for you and Jess today as always. PUT ALL FEAR BEHIND YOU!
Bev

[Yvonne, Riley, Murphy and Luca]

I will pray for the best for the two of you today! It is a big day!

and Phoebe, let go of her fear and no one asked her to. That is truely amazing!

I can't wait for the update.

[Adrianne Matzkin]

We are praying for you and Jesse! I can't wait to read your very positive post tonight!
L'Chayim -- (to life; to good health)!!!!

[Zoe, Benny and Tyler]

What a nice picture and she is such a smart girl. I bet she felt your conflict and wanted to show you that you can overcome your fears if you just dare. I am so happy for you that they are planning to close Jesse's chest now. Without having any medical knowledge I still assume this is a VERY good sign. We will send our thoughts and prayers and don't worry about the stresstest. Just do it :)

[Carol Ramsey]

Good going, Janet. Tomorrow will be a good day. I love the pic of Phoebs. She is so precious and lovely.
Oliver just stares at her. He thinks she is a cute-EE!!!!! Ollie now sleeps nicely on the sofa, along with Nick and Jack. Ted has an easy chair. Yes, our living room belongs to the Poods. Good luck at the cardiologist and with the stress test. I'll be thinking of you. I look forward to your GOOD NEWS POST tomorrow night.
GOD bless YOU and Jess and the pooches .......and oh yes, I'm feeling very patriotic tonight! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!! We have THE BEST of medical care in the entire world and I'm thrilled that Jess has the best doctors. Sleep well my friend. Tomorrow will bring more sunshine.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

You are so eloquent! You paint a picture with words. I feel I am right there with you with your fear - with your hope - with your boundaries. I think we can learn so much from our doodles also. Phoebe looks so comfortable - she just wants you to join her and share the moment. We will be praying for Jess' successful surgery tomorrow.