Tell Me Again What a Bully Stick Is?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

We recently had quite the discussion on DoodleKisses and I would like to share some of my thoughts on the situation.  It all started when Ricki (and Tara) posted that she received some buggy bully sticks.  We have had many discussions about bully sticks but I believe this is the first time someone talked about their order coming with bugs in the bag.  As I write, I am starting to feel like saying, “Peter Piper picked a pack of pretty purple peppers,” only changing it up to say, “Beware of bags with buggy bully sticks!”  Try saying that three times quickly.

 

As almost always happens when we have a bully stick discussion, someone asks what a bully stick is and straws are drawn behind the scenes and the loser gets to answer.  Not really, but it isn’t hard to imagine the questioner’s face when they read the answer, “Beef Pizzle” and while they are still thinking this sounds like something their dog might like, they read on to find out that beef pizzle is really just a nicer name for bull penises.  I like the sound of pizzle much better than penis. It reminds me of Snoop Dog’s fo’shizzle, which is just a cooler way of saying for sure.  It also reminds me of when our daughters were younger and Hayley wanted help with her homework assignment. 

 

Timing was never Hayley’s forte and for years I would tell her to just let me take my shoes off after work before she hit me up with anything bad.   I used to think she liked the sound of me yelling, because just as I would finally sit down to relax, she might say,  “I forgot to tell you. I need cupcakes for tomorrow!”  I often worried that the neighbors might call the police as the sound of my voice yelling, “I TOLD YOU TO ONLY VOLUNTEER ME FOR PAPER PRODUCTS” followed by, “I forgot,” reverberated around the neighborhood. One night Hayley needed help with her homework and brought it to the dinner table.  Imagine our surprise when the first question out of her mouth was, “what is gonorrhea?”  To our credit, John and I did not spit out our food, but Megan, who has always been too smart for her own good, started chanting, “Hayley has gonorrhea!” 

 

Growing up, my mom insisted on daily devotions at the dinner table after supper and I’ve got kids asking about venereal diseases for a homework assignment.   Hayley was adamant that even though she didn’t know what it was, she didn’t have it, and wanted Megan to be quiet.  We all wanted Megan to be quiet and in retrospect, we should have insisted Hayley put her homework aside until after dinner, but we were never that smart.   Because of our stupidity and Hayley’s persistence to get that homework done, over the course of that questionnaire and our dinner, Megan enjoyed the time of her life chanting that her sister had genital warts, crabs, and syphilis. 

 

You never see anything like that on Little House on the Prairie, and it wouldn’t be the first or last time we regretted telling our kids that they could talk to us about anything.   Unfortunately, Hayley wasn’t done and to this day I don’t know if this was an actual question or she just wanted to know, but she asked what were some other names for penis.  Before John and I could ask what the heck class was she taking, Megan rattled off a litany of responses, ending with a one-eyed snake.  Until that day we had no idea Megan was the walking, talking Thesaurus for the word penis.  And here is where being a parent was hard for me, because Megan could always make me laugh and I would lose all credibility when I told her I didn’t like the way she was talking and to stop it immediately.   John was no better in these situations and we finally had to ask Hayley to put aside her homework until after dinner and Megan had left the premises.

 

The point I am trying to make is if the question you asked was what are some other names for bull penises, the answers would be beef pizzle and bully sticks, and I can hear Megan chanting, “you like beef pizzle, fo’ shizzle!”  And if you are wondering who came up with this idea, I don’t know the answer and I don’t even want to think about the first guy who said, “Let’s see if Rover likes chewing on these dried bull penises.” Is there a bull penis handler somewhere whose job it is to remove the penises and what could he/she possibly answer on a questionnaire that asked about their occupation?  Can you imagine if some young entrepreneur showed up on Shark Tank and pitched this idea to the panel?  I am betting he/she would be shown the door so quickly, they wouldn’t have time to add, “but dogs love them!”

 

The thing is dogs do love them. They can be stinky and gross and all the things that humans hate, but when you are dealing with a puppy and those sharp teeth, they can be a godsend.  I could throw one in Fudge’s mouth as she came at me with those shark’s teeth and have a temporary reprieve from being her chew toy.  In those days I was willing to try anything and John is lucky she was happy with a bull penis.  I am not saying I was desperate enough to turn into Laurie Bobbitt, but when Vern came along and started teething I had no problem putting Fudge in his path and really didn’t care what part he chewed on her as long as it was not attached to me.

 

A couple of people questioned in that discussion whether or not bully sticks were addictive, because it is all their dog wants to chew on.  I won’t name names (Tara) but I think the bugs might be God’s way of helping her get off those things before she ends up in some kind of program like BSA….Bully Sticks Anonymous.  I was one of the lucky ones. Fudge and Vern can no longer handle the pizzles.  It gives them runny stools and so we banned them long ago.  Long before we had to deal with buggy bags, BSA, and the thought that the adorable dogs we love and kiss are chewing on one. Bugs and bully sticks do not go together, any more than dinner conversation and venereal disease’s homework.

[Joy Preston]

OMG...I think I peed my pants. The folks who have puppies from our breeder have been talking about Bully sticks and I had no idea what that was ( I have had 5 dogs) SO I decided to read your post. LMAO!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Bonnie :)

Janie, Poor Jilly....wean her slowly :) LOL

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

Too funny Laurie! I have to say, my Jilly needs to join BSA! I have been getting the odor free ones from BBS for a long time now and have never had a problem! I feel I need to make a switch now though! Ricki, so sorry to hear about the bugs! I guess our next move will be the Sancho and Lola brand or the beef trachea. Thanks for the warning!

[Bonnie and Kona]

SHARK TANK!!! I am dying! Tears. Oh my goodness Laurie, you did again. Thanks so much for posting these blogs. Love you to bits. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Stella, Thanks for the information. I hate to think about the ads you may now start to get :) LOL

Lynda, Pizzle or penis...I am just glad they make my dogs sick and I don't have to buy them. 

Sally, LOL...what a great story. The joy of kids :)

DJ, Speechless...both you and Nancy. That must be a record for one of my blogs :)

[Stella]

Ok, so I googled "what is a bully stick?"!!! This article had the best explanation......bully sticks are made from the entire penis that has been stretched, dried, and then cut up!!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/17/bull-penis-dog-chews_n_687...

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Lynda, TMI! :)

Sally, LOL!

[F, Calla & Luca]

From the cross sections of bully sticks I would say they are the entire penis not just the skin.

[Lynda Kamrath]

As far as I know, bully sticks are pizzles, not penises.  There is a difference.  The pizzle is the skin around the penile area and bully sticks are 48 inches long before they cut them up.  They usually cut them into 12 inch sticks.  It is a very good use of tissues that would be wasted otherwise.

[Sally M]

OMD, what a story, Laurie! When I was 5 years old, my baby brother was born. Being a curious 5-year-old, I pointed to my brother's nether-region and asked, "What's that?" My mom believed in calling things by their correct/scientifc name. She said, "It's a penis". OK. At this stage of my childhood, I took to calling my mom by her first name, "Pat" instead of "Mom". So one day, while my mother was changing my brother's diaper and was putting baby powder on him, I exclaimed, "Oh dear, Pat, you got powder on his penis!" Apparently I was very concerned and sincere. My mom said she cracked up so much she could barely finish the diapering. You should have heard our discussion, later in my childhood when I asked her what the "S" word meant. My poor mom!