The Circle of Life

[Betsy D.]

Do you remember the Elton John song, The Circle of Life, from the movie, The Lion King? Today I feel like this is what is happening. You may have seen the blog from Teri Fann of Goldens-n-Doodles as she wrote about and video taped the birth of 3 new goldendoodles soon after coming into this world, today. Well sometime between now and hopefully next Tuesday, Teri and/or Teri's friend Kathy will be present for the birth of the newest member of our family, Cimmy (Cinnamon's Hope). A new life will enter this world full of hope and joy and bringing with her abounding love. This is the beginning of this circle of life.

On the flip side we are losing Dirk. Our 3 yr. old daughter, Emily had an hour long melt down late this afternoon due to not getting her afternoon nap. I really wasn't in the mood to drag the children in to the hospice house to see their father when, from past experience it would end up being a very short visit because of exhausted, argumentative, weepy children. The people at the hospice house are pleased to see the children because usually they bring joy and laughter to a place that can be so somber. They have been dubbed the "Dirkettes" and can be heard running down the hall to Dirk's room. When we got to the hospice house on Sunday, there was a note on Dirk's bedroom door that read, "Jim, Alex and Emily, You will find 24 Easter eggs hidden in your dad's room. Enjoy the hunt. Love, the Easter Bunny. I have no idea who did this; they do this type of thing for the kids all of the time. Dirk, however, slept through most of their squeals of delight at discoving another egg!!!

I know you haven't known of our story, but this has been going on far longer than any doctor predicted. I feel like I should be doing something to save this wonderful man's life. We have fought so hard to be able to stay together and my frustration level is very high because we are losing the fight. I spoke with Dirk's nurse and she said that he didn't wake up very much today; he only ate about 40% of his breakfast and he didn't eat anything for lunch or dinner. His appetite is really dwindling.

Life is bitter sweet. We are gaining a sweet, loveable little red headed goldendoodle and we are losing the love of my life and the father of my children. Our family is completing the circle of life.

[Adrianne Matzkin]

What wonderful people to think of the kids on Easter. I am sure that their smiles during their hunt will help them (and you) to have some kind of happy memories during the extremely difficult time. My heart goes out to you, Dirk and the kids!
'Pay it foward' - what a wonderful job for Cimmy to help you with - someday.
Samanthan & I are also sending you tight hugs. Know that your Doodle Family is keeping you in our thoughts and prayers!!!

[Yvonne, Riley, Murphy and Luca]

I have no words either for you. Just know that by you sharing your story here that all of us pray for you and your family.

[Kim Williams]

The hidden Easter Eggs warms my heart for your children. What a thoughtful surprise someone planned. Cinnamon's hope, what a great name. Cimmy will be so ready to love and be loved.

[Kai Doodle (Kathy & Keith)]

Betsy~ there aren't any words for what you are going through. I am just so sorry.

[LINDA & TEDDY]

Betsy,
My heart breaks for you, Dirk and your little ones. It sounds like Cimmy is just what your family needs at this difficult time. You said it best, she will bring a "world full of hope and joy and bringing with her abounding love."

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Betsy, I am so sorry for your family. The hospice your husband is in sounds wonderful and caring. I am glad that you have made a decision about a doodle. I am sure she will bring many bright moments to you in the days that come.

[LuvMyAbby&Kaela]

Betsy, across cyberspace, across thousands of miles I send you a heartfelt hug from a total stranger.

...."and yet life goes on"

I thought that was the harshest statement I ever heard at one time in my life. Yet until I have had to lose someone I love - until I have arrived at the other end of the tunnel of broken heart - amazingly still in one piece and still somehow, astonishingly needing to live and thrive still....I couldnt fathom it, couldnt appreciate it.

I am tired of hurting. I still do. ....Life goes on. I still love life - and that's ok. Thats so OK.

Congratulations on your little redheaded spark of life. Relish her.

[Betsy D.]

Jim is our 9 1/2 yrs. old, Alex is 7 1/2 yrs. old and Emily just turned 3 last week. I will post pictures as soon as I am able. :)

[Kyoko]

How old are your children? I suppose they are still very young....
I can'r wait to see the picture of Cimmy.