The Great Neil Diamond Debacle!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Recently, I did a blog about my mom attending a Neil Diamond concert in Cleveland, which has landed me in hot water with my mother.   

http://www.doodlekisses.com/profiles/blogs/transport-needed-to-get-...

As I do with all my mom blogs, I sent her a copy and went about my business.  Today, I spoke with her on the phone and the conversation did not go well.  Her first concern was that I did not send it to her in the right format.  Even though, I send all emails exactly the same way to her by copying and pasting any additional information, every now and then she informs me I did it incorrectly.  I have resorted to copying and pasting because she is never able to open an attachment and again that is my fault, not hers.  This time she swore I enlarged the copy and made it too big for her to read. Keep in mind this is the same person who ended up with 32 sets of another blog, because she kept hitting the print button over and over again, hoping that eventually the unobliging printer would finally say, “oh, what the hell,” and start printing.  Luckily, there is a secretary that helps out in the computer room where my mom lives, and I am sure that lady goes home every night and has a Martini or two.

 

When I spoke with my mom she was strangely not upset about the fact that I said Neil Diamond had a receding hairline, or she was a bad singer, or she walked slowly, or we wanted to stuff her in a crate, or she might be a stalker, or that we did not like the concert, or we wished she would take up dramatic acting. My mother was upset because I left out a few details, she disagreed with some of my memories, and she thinks I am wrong about who attended the concert with her. While I was on the phone with her, I felt a little like Kitty Kelley must feel when someone like Nancy Reagan or Elizabeth Taylor gave her the “what for” after she published one of her unauthorized biographies. During the conversation, it got so bad at one point, that I had to remind her that no one was playing the part of Charles Boyer in the movie Gaslight and trying to drive her insane.  

 

Several of her concerns were that I did not mention my nephew and his friend are tagging along with my sister to take her to the concert, that my sister is flying in to meet her, and that my niece is driving her to the concert.  She didn’t actually use the words “sue or libel,” but she all but implied her lawyer will be contacting mine and I am probably out of the will, again.  All this is due to the fact that she is convinced my daughter and husband did not attend the concert with us.  When I tried to tell her that libel meant I was trying to give a negative image of her and most of the points she did not mention (see above) or take offense to, fit the definition of libel much better than the minor points she was referring to, which I felt better fit in the category of “who cares?” her feathers got ruffled.

 

So, before we appear before Judge Milian on The People’s Court or she insists I hire a fact checker for all my mom blogs, here are some facts I would like to submit into evidence, in case any of you need to appear in court along side me.

 

• It is true I did not mention my nephew and his friend would be attending the concert. I also did not use the words “flying in” for my sister, but it was clear from my blog, my middle sister was taking my mother.  Please refer to Exhibit A, taken word for word from my blog.

Luckily, my mom had already concluded that this sister was the one she would force invite to take her, and once again the oldest and youngest sisters got off scot-free and the middle sister now has more ammunition for her theories in the future.

• I thought we attended the concert at the Baltimore Arena. She thought it was at the Capitol Centre outside of Washington, D.C.  Even though, this never came up in my blog, I concede that she was correct.
• The plaintiff also states I did not mention my niece in the blog.  Please see Exhibit B taken straight from my blog.

Finally, I threw another relative under the concert bus and told my mom to ask one of my nieces to take her and pay for her concert ticket. Problem solved, but we think this is just the beginning of more to come.

• The plaintiff stated that husband and daughter did not attend the concert with the defendant, however both husband and daughter, per a phone call, remembered the stage and the laser light show.  The two witnesses were not coached and had no prior knowledge what the other witness said, BUT their statements matched.
• Plaintiff was angered by the mention of a laser light show and claimed lasers did not exist thirty years ago.  Please see Exhibit C, taken straight from a witness known only as Mr. Google.

Lasers were invented in the 1900s, and it wasn't until 1970 that they were used to replace traditional lights.

• Plaintiff went on to say that Neil Diamond never had laser lights at his concert.  Please take a look at Exhibit D

• Daughter and husband also stated Neil Diamond performed on a circular stage. Plaintiff said Neil Diamond never performed on a circular stage. Since Defendant does not remember and did not want to rile the Plaintiff further by saying maybe the witnesses were just seeing circles due to all the lasers, we concede this point to the Plaintiff.
• Defendant stated Neil Diamond was wearing a white, puffy shirt and Plaintiff made a harrumphing sound in obvious disagreement and more or less said he did not own a white shirt.  Please see Exhibit E and F.

• Furthermore, Plaintiff went on to say she remembers what section we were sitting in (I think she said 110 or 116) and she can remember it like it were yesterday.  She then went on to say it was over thirty years ago and asked me what year my daughters were born.  We feel she is correct about the section, wrong about the concert year, but more importantly, should be seeking help to find out why seating at a concert is more important than her granddaughter’s year of birth.

 

 

In closing, she did state repeatedly that she has seen him perform twenty times and we think this helps cement our case. Every venue is different, so there is no possible way to know what he was wearing at a particular concert, when you have seen him that many times.  We, on the other hand, have seen him once. Also, while she was looking at Neil Diamond and oohing and aahing, I was looking around for an escape route and taking in all the little details. Finally, for those of you who say there are two sides to every story, may I remind you that my mother does not own a Doodle and is not a member of DK, so you will just have to take my word for the facts in this case.

 

 

P.S. Last I heard she was tearing apart her storage unit to find the ticket stubs to prove she is right.  Since I was not aware that a ticket stub provided the entertainer’s concert attire, number of guests, shape of the stage, or if laser lights were indeed used, I am not sure what purpose this serves, but it seems to be making her happy.  Meanwhile, I can’t help but be thankful that this relentless desire to always be right has somehow skipped my generation.

[Bonnie and Kona]

Does she know that your lawyer is a doodle named JD?  ;o)

You and your mom have a great relationship if you can "fight" on a public forum. I'm afraid my tongue-in-cheek would not be appreciated quite like yours. You have said that you come from a long line of jokesters and clearly that is so. Lucky you guys... all you all... DH, DD'S, DM'S etc, etc.

Joanne's comment below... ROTFL

[Pat and Traveler]

Hilarious, Laurie!!!!  Love the exhibits...and skipping a generation...Not!  LOL

[Camilla and Darwin]

Ha ha! Love this.

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

"I can’t help but be thankful that this relentless desire to always be right has somehow skipped my generation."

Really, Laurie???

That is the funniest thing I have heard all morning! 

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Sweet, Mom of mine. Law suits never looked so good. I'm feeling fine.....( sung to the tune Sweet Caroline).