The Power of Cheese!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 

Our first dog, Hershey, loved people food. Our youngest daughter was eight when we got Hershey and they soon became best friends. A couple of times when she was in the bathtub, I would hear her talking to someone and open the door only to find that Hershey was in the tub with her. We explained to her repeatedly that the point of a bath was to get clean and we preferred her bath to be dog free, but every now and then Hershey would still get in that tub. Looking back, maybe my kids needed more supervision, because I also found her in the shower once, wearing her new duck rain slicker, rain boots, and holding a duck umbrella, but that is a whole other blog. Hershey and my daughter also shared snacks and this started a lifelong habit of Hershey begging at the table.  Even when she got so old that she could hardly walk or stand, if you opened the refrigerator door, or attempted to unscrew a jar of peanut butter, or popped the lid on a tub of cream cheese, she would magically appear. Cream cheese was her absolute favorite treat and I used it whenever I needed her to take a pill. I swear when she saw the pill bottle she would begin to salivate. Begging for food was really her only big fault, but one I did not want to repeat with Fudge and Vern.

 

When we got Fudge and Vern, I talked to every member of the family and said we were never feeding people food to these two dogs. After I discovered the Food Group, every now and then, I would add yogurt or pumpkin to their food and I have given them bananas, apples, and green beans. Of course, they also get peanut butter in their Kong’s or as a special treat when we leave. The difference has been that all food is given in their food dish, never from the table, and not as my daughter used to do, while cuddling on bed with Hershey watching the Disney channel.  Fudge and Vern are curious sometimes when we are eating, but so far, no begging. I have never given my dogs cheese.

 

Over the years, I have learned how powerful cheese can be and I was afraid to unleash it’s powers on my two dogs. No one wants a couple of cheese heads for dogs.

I didn’t want to rock the boat with our no begging policy. I have been burned a couple of times with cheese and have seen how cheese can turn good people bad. When my daughters were both teenagers, they used to call me all the time at work to settle disputes. I would get so frustrated with them bothering me and asked them a couple of times why they didn’t call their father, and they would get very indignant and say, “He is busy, mom. He is at work.”

 

One day at work, I got yet another desperate call from my two daughters. For some reason, our oldest daughter was on a string cheese kick and was constantly asking me to buy some at the grocery store. For those of you who eat healthily, string cheese looks like a tube of cheese in individual packets. Truthfully, I am not even sure if it is real cheese. After one trip to the grocery store, I had come home with a 6 pack of string cheese and put it in the refrigerator. In those days, my daughters were mostly deaf when we called them to help us with anything, but they could hear a grocery bag rattle from a mile away.  They never failed to come running and start staking claim to what they wanted out of those bags.

 

The night before this phone call, we had a touch and go situation where as I was unpacking the groceries, the oldest daughter declared that all the string cheese was hers because she officially called it. This made my youngest daughter absolutely livid and she announced in her best “It’s Not Fair” voice that she called the Spaghetti-O’s. Now, they are fighting about fake cheese and fake spaghetti and driving my husband and me nuts. Finally I said, “Keep this up and I am going to only buy healthy food from now on,” but it did not stop the fighting.

 

This stupid argument continued all night and the next day at work; I get the dreaded phone call.  My oldest daughter regrets to inform me that my youngest daughter has put the cheese down her pants, in what I still feel is a very smart way to make sure that the rest of us prefer to remain cheese free, and is refusing to produce the cheese when asked.  In those days, I shared an office with two women and nothing you said on the phone was private, so it was very hard to come up with a response to a call like this without giving away the fact that one of your kids is hoarding food in her pants.  At this point, I got mad and hung up. Later when I had cooled off, I called back to the house to make sure they had both survived what we now refer to as The String Cheese Incident. I was told that they had worked it out and all food had been removed from her pants, but I did make a mental note to tell my hubby to pass on the string cheese in the refrigerator. Who knew how long it had been down there?

 

Anyway, you can see why I was gun shy. It was obvious the power of that cheese caused my two loving daughters to start resource guarding and I was determined not to let that happen with Fudge and Vern. What finally changed my mind? Well, my daughter is starting to take photos of Vern and Fudge for the Doodle Calendar and I was looking for a high value treat to hold their interest during the photo op session. Rummaging through the refrigerator I came across some cheese and let me tell you, it worked like a charm. Those dogs put Cindy Crawford and Heidi Klum to shame posing for their close-ups; while my daughter and I stood in the background and yelled, “say cheese!”  We even got a couple of pictures where I think they had just finished licking their lips after polishing off their cheese.

I can’t help but wonder if this is how Annie Leibovitz gets those great shots of movie stars for those magazines covers.  So for now, cheese is my friend and if those pictures are not good enough for the calendar, I am not above making a cheesy gesture and sending a cheese and cracker basket as a bribe good will gesture to the Big Cheese in charge. I need to stop now before someone gets cheesed off.

 

THE OUT TAKES---TRYING TO GET TWO DOODLES TO WEAR A CHEESE HEAD HAT!!!

and one example of a man who loves his wife enough to try and demonstrate to two dogs how the hat goes on:

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, Awww.....thank you again for your nice comments especially about my DH. I think he is a keeper too and it surprised me that he put the cheese on his head...LOL!!

Nancy, Thank you! I will tell my DH you liked the picture....that is, if I tell him I posted it...LOL!

Jennifer, I try to help anyway I can. Thank you!

Deanna, Sadly, I ordered that cheese head hat specifically for this blog. My dogs do not support any team...LOL....although, my DH is a Ravens fan. I hate to admit I hate football almost as much as coffee...LOL!

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

Ah, the Big Cheese Effect. It's spread across the world... so funny.  You have the gift of the gab.... Now I wonder, did you ever kiss that Blarney Stone Laurie?

[Katie, John & Parker pup]

Haha that cheese hat is great! I love the out takes! The one of Vern with the cheese on the side of his head looking at the camera! TOOOO funny!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

So Laurie....what did you have to do to get your DH to pose in that cheese hat?  Love this blog....as always.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Yep the power of cheese and the power of Laurie will always make me happy!

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

OMD!  You have such a gift.  I am ROFL!  I love reading everything you post, but now I know that I should not read any of your posts right after eating a big meal.  You actually make me laugh so hard, I may get a bellyache!  I love the resource guarding that your daughters were displaying.  I was actually shocked when I read that because my boys are just like that!  They start going through the groceries faster than I can put them away & they start screaming OPEN THIS and OPEN THAT because they want to start devouring it right away.  I only thought boys did that (and maybe even only MY boys) but now I feel like we are just a normal family (normal assuming your family is normal, and at this point I'm not sure if that would be accurate).  After all, you have dogs & husbands with cheese on their heads & a daughter with cheese in her pants.  So, if that's normal, we're normal too!

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

As a long-time San Francisco 49'ers fan (okay, so the team's been a bit stinko lately) and, therefore, a long-time hater of the Green Bay Packers, I will NEVER allow Sedona to be a cheese head.  She is, however, an extreme lover of cheese.  And you, Laurie, are an extreme teller of funny tales!!!

[Jennifer and Jack]

You keep my lungs nice and clear because I laugh so hard that I cough!! Maybe you can start billing my insurance company!!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

This was too funny and since DH is in bed already, I have to wait til tomorrow to read it to him.  I LOVE your husband wearing the cheese at the end.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Okay, Laurie, I wouldn't have thought it possible, but you have topped yourself with this one. I actually have tears rolling down my face. (Speaking of which, could you please post these blogs earlier in the evening, before I have applied the expensive face cream?)

I love everything about this blog: the old dog in the bathtub, the kids calling dibs on food and putting cheese down their pants, the pictures of Fudge and Vern as Cheeseheads. But my favorite is your DH demonstrating the correct way to wear the cheese hat.

You are a lucky woman, my friend. On top of all your other gifts and blessings, that guy's a keeper.