The Puppy is in My Heart

[Betsy D.]

Hum, I have never written a blog post. I think anyone who reads this may now be the recipient of my random thoughts that many say I need to put down on paper. You see my almost 43 year old best friend and husband is terminally ill and though we have been dealing with this for more than 3 years, he had a bad day and I am in a "blue funk" as he would call it. Dirk has terminal brain cancer and for the past year+ his short term memory has been faulty at best. He doesn't and can't eat well. He has been unable to walk for the past 9 months and he is horribly confused about most of life. Thank goodness he can still recognize those people who are important in his life: his mother, brother, my family members, our great friends, our 3 young children and me. Today was a bad day. He felt sick to his stomach and was having pain in his left temple which is the opposite side of the original brain tumor.

One of his long term memories that is still in tact is that we had always talked about getting a dog in the future. I grew up with Golden Retrievers and Standard Poodles and he had an Irish Setter.We have both missed the love and companionship a dog brings to a home. We put it off for multiple reasons, but one was that I didn't want to take care of multiple babies at the same time. Once all children were out of diapers and not "toddling" around was what I said. "When we can afford to fence our one acre piece of property." Dirk would say. A year ago, I had just finished up the last diaper stage and the children started begging for a dog. My husband really was not doing well and it really was not an appropriate time for a dog. "In a year...next Spring." I told the kids. Life would be more sane!!! Ha! January 1st came around and the oldest 2 started in on the dog thing again. Ugh!!!! Your dad is dieing I wanted to shout!!! We can't get a dog now!!! BUT.... I started thinking. These kids deserved something to look forward to. Something fresh and full of fun and promise... a special gift from God. So I said o.k. and so began my search for a breeder. I wanted a Goldendoodle. The kids just wanted a dog. The blessing was that I found Teri and Michael Fann of Goldens-n-Doodles and we are now waiting for our new baby to be born in less than 2 weeks!

Now comes the whole reason for starting this blog. Am I doing the right thing? Now I am a bit nervous. Will I be able to handle this? I get so excited when I talk to people about our new baby. The kids are really excited!!! But is the timing right.... I am second guessing myself... Will I be able to give our little one what she will need? I have found I can do a lot that I didn't know I was capable of and I know there is still more to do and learn... This is what we planned. Dirk was part of the decision to get this puppy, though today he couldn't tell you about any discussions we have had. The kids have talked with him about her name and we have shown him pictures of previous littlers. He is a part of this. My heart is always right and it tells me this is the right thing to do now. Get a puppy. My head is starting to work though.... Are You Crazy????!!! Your life is chaos!!!!

Now you understand part of my "blue funk". We were supposed to do this together....

[Nicole Wayne]

Dogs are furry, four-legged love machines. I can't think of a better way to add some much needed joy to your lives. After reading your blog, I am confident that you can handle the additional work that comes along with a new puppy. You are one strong woman! And you and Dirk ARE still doing this together. You already talked about it, planned it together, now you are just following through. I'm sure that's what he would want for you and the kids. And joy, particularly the joy of puppy love, is contagious. Even if your husband isn't lucid, he will feel the wonderful energy that I guarantee will be radiating from you and the kids once you get that puppy home!

One more thing: I totally agree with Jeannette about crate training. It is the best way to ensure your puppy is safe when she isn't being supervised and it will allow you to plop her in there when you need to take a break to relax and breathe. If you start crate training right away, first day home, your pup will learn to recognize her crate as her "home base" and will actually be comforted by having her very own space, rather than view it as punishment or "incarceration." Our Mazie loves her crate, freely wandering in and out of it during the day, depending on her mood.

You and your family are in my prayers, and Mazie sends kisses.

Best of luck to you

[Yvonne, Riley, Murphy and Luca]

Your writing made my heart ache for you and your family. I can not imagine. I think you are a fantastic woman and mother. You and your family deserve a puppy.Puppies bring so much happiness, I am sure the new puppy will bring joy to your husband as well. You picked a fantastic dog. They are smart and fast learners.

[Joy Williams]

Betsy, I am so sorry to hear about your husband's illness. That's gotta be tough for all of you. But, trust me, listen to your heart! You will be surprised how much a puppy can brighten even the worst of days. And even when the puppy is a little older, when you have those "blue funk" days, your furry friend will somehow know, and will bring you comfort. Even just coming up to you and snuggling with you on the couch as if to say, Its gonna be okay, mom! I don't know how they know these things, but they do. I'm sure that, not only will the kids benefit from this puppy, but Dirk will too. So enjoy this baby when he/she gets there and stay away from those blue funks!! And be sure to post lots of pictures.
We will keep you all in our prayers.

[Kim Williams]

Thank-you for sharing your blog. I think you are absolutely making the right decision. It is hard to measure the companionship of a doodle!! I am hoping you and your family have a nice Easter.

[Debbie and Thomas]

Betsy, I think you are the bravest woman and best mom . It was a pleasure to read your "blog" and reading it gave me goosebumps. I say this because you put your feelings aside (as mom's do) to give your children something happy in their life- a new puppy! What you are going thru is the worst thing I can imagine-and yet you still found the strength to make a positive, exciting impact on your family by bringing a new life-this puppy into your lives. Your new pup will be so luckey to have a family like yours. It will not be easy, and you will need support and advice but this puppy will bring you, your husband and kids so much JOY! I have a GD who is 6 1/2 months old so if you EVER need any advice I and all of the other members will be there for you. My best to you, hubby and the kids.

[2SCdoodles]

Ohhhh... what heart and voice you have in your writing! Your family is in my prayers. If your heart is telling you to do this it has to be the right thing.

[HANNAH 8/2/07 & HONEY 7/2/08]

One of the greatest gifts from GOD we can open our hearts to is a DOG, so if your heart is telling you to, than you should, tell your mind to relax all will be fine. Clearly explain to your children their responsiblity with this pup, and how you rely on them to help you. Crate training is also a huge assesst in puppy training. My dad suffered massive strokes and caused him to loose his memory, but one thing he never forgot and that was my dog Magic, he loved her till the end and thought of her as his own. Magic brought him so much love and just did things that were unreal that my family could have never done for our dad, so a dog can mean so much in a tough situation. And don't think that your not doing this together, you are, as a family...everything you's have taught your childern will reflect in your pet, and those memories will be priceless. God Bless you and your family, and please remember you always have a Doodle family here on DK, willing to lend a hand and open hearts.

[LuvMyAbby&Kaela]

My heart goes out to you and your family. I think we all always need something to look forward to. I think your desire for a puppy signifies your hope for the future; and that no matter what hardship life wants to throw at us, we by nature want to be happy and look forward to a future with promise and possibilities. A puppy is work, but it is also something that brightens our days.

I wish you an your family all the best.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I think that a dog will enhance some days that have no other good points and bring joy to all of you. I wonder if you have thought of an older puppy - even one that has been housebroken and trained a little. Even a few months can make a difference and might make things easier all around.

[Jeanette]

Yeah! But what cute, adoring, loving chaos it is going to be. The puppy will bring a smile to your face and your children's! The puppy will reinforce that life goes on, no matter what! Trust your heart and know that you will have strength. It will be a welcomed distraction and challenge that will make you focus on something else than the tragedy you are facing. My heart and prayers go out to you!

The only piece of advice I have for you is to get him/her crate trained. When life gets too hectic, you can all take a time out!