The Puppy is in My Heart

[Betsy D.]

Hum, I have never written a blog post. I think anyone who reads this may now be the recipient of my random thoughts that many say I need to put down on paper. You see my almost 43 year old best friend and husband is terminally ill and though we have been dealing with this for more than 3 years, he had a bad day and I am in a "blue funk" as he would call it. Dirk has terminal brain cancer and for the past year+ his short term memory has been faulty at best. He doesn't and can't eat well. He has been unable to walk for the past 9 months and he is horribly confused about most of life. Thank goodness he can still recognize those people who are important in his life: his mother, brother, my family members, our great friends, our 3 young children and me. Today was a bad day. He felt sick to his stomach and was having pain in his left temple which is the opposite side of the original brain tumor.

One of his long term memories that is still in tact is that we had always talked about getting a dog in the future. I grew up with Golden Retrievers and Standard Poodles and he had an Irish Setter.We have both missed the love and companionship a dog brings to a home. We put it off for multiple reasons, but one was that I didn't want to take care of multiple babies at the same time. Once all children were out of diapers and not "toddling" around was what I said. "When we can afford to fence our one acre piece of property." Dirk would say. A year ago, I had just finished up the last diaper stage and the children started begging for a dog. My husband really was not doing well and it really was not an appropriate time for a dog. "In a year...next Spring." I told the kids. Life would be more sane!!! Ha! January 1st came around and the oldest 2 started in on the dog thing again. Ugh!!!! Your dad is dieing I wanted to shout!!! We can't get a dog now!!! BUT.... I started thinking. These kids deserved something to look forward to. Something fresh and full of fun and promise... a special gift from God. So I said o.k. and so began my search for a breeder. I wanted a Goldendoodle. The kids just wanted a dog. The blessing was that I found Teri and Michael Fann of Goldens-n-Doodles and we are now waiting for our new baby to be born in less than 2 weeks!

Now comes the whole reason for starting this blog. Am I doing the right thing? Now I am a bit nervous. Will I be able to handle this? I get so excited when I talk to people about our new baby. The kids are really excited!!! But is the timing right.... I am second guessing myself... Will I be able to give our little one what she will need? I have found I can do a lot that I didn't know I was capable of and I know there is still more to do and learn... This is what we planned. Dirk was part of the decision to get this puppy, though today he couldn't tell you about any discussions we have had. The kids have talked with him about her name and we have shown him pictures of previous littlers. He is a part of this. My heart is always right and it tells me this is the right thing to do now. Get a puppy. My head is starting to work though.... Are You Crazy????!!! Your life is chaos!!!!

Now you understand part of my "blue funk". We were supposed to do this together....

[Cindy and Mandy]

Betsy, I am sorry to hear about your husband's illness. I hope the addition of a dog into your family brings happiness and love to all of you! My new puppy has made me laugh so much this past week over her silly antics. Dogs do seem to bring a sense of calmness to those around them. Enjoy the planning time for the puppy and let us know which one your pick out!

[Susan]

Betsy, the Dk site is a type of therapy for several of us and you will feel the support and advice from everyone. I think it is a great time for a puppy. The children need something to bring joy to them and it will make your husband smile to see the antics. My heart goes out to your family and you will be in my prayers!

[Adrianne Matzkin]

I think this is a very sane idea!! My DH had a stroke 7 years and 7 days ago. If you didn't know him 'before' you wouldn't know it but we do. He suffers a pain syndrome on the entire right side of his body. A good day for him as he describes it is ' the worst sunburn you ever had, multiply that by 10 = a good day'.

We also kept putting off getting another puppy - we will travel, he never feels well, blah, blah, blah. It's been so long for that typy of responsibility - do we want it, do we need it?

Samantha has brought back the silliness and giggling back into the house. DH has something to concentrate other than his pain. Your puppy will do the same for you, Dirk and your kids. There will be a furry little creature that will demand you get up and get dressed to go for a walk. Who will demand your attention and give you the strength to get moving each day.

This is something that your kids will always remember talking to Dad about and sharing the stories, picking out her name. They need those good memories.

No, you are NOT crazy! Probably one of the most sane decisions you have made in the past 3 years.
Remember, your Doodle family is here - for all the support you need.
Oh, by the way - your blog was beautiful! I hope you have a Happy Easter
Your are in our thoughts and prayers!

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

There is a reason why they say that dogs are "man's best friend". They are so intuitive, so loving, and like others have said below, can serve as a distraction from other things in life. When my dad was in the trauma unit for 3 months after a near-death accident, we were able to bring the family terrior, Jake, to his bedside. Dad knew he was there, let him sleep with him, etc...can you imagine a little, fiesty terrior being sweet and understanding that his dad was sick? It was amazing...You are making the right decision, it may not be easy at all times having the puppy running around and needing attention, but I think you will be very thankful for the addition to your family. Cinnamon will bring much needed joy to your kids and probably even your husband. That is why they say elderly should have pets, that is why there are "therapy dogs", etc...you should look at puppy C as a therapy dog for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you Betsy. Maybe someday we can meet at one of Teri's doodle romps, once I get my little guy :)

[Krista, Angel, and Toby]

Oh Betsy, I am so sorry to hear about your husband, I knew he was terminally ill, but that's an abstract concept until the symptoms are described. I think getting a puppy is a good decision now. A puppy can lighten the mood, offer a diversion, and offer therapy, trained or not. I once saw on a show on Animal Planet a therapy dog going to see an Alzheimer's patient. They said that this man didn't speak to anyone or remember much, but the sight of the dog made him start speaking to the dog, remembering times with the dog. I don't know what effect Cimmy will have on your husband or on you, but I do believe it will be a positive one.

My prayers are with you, Betsy.

[Sue & Willy Babe]

I am so sorry to hear about your husband, I firmly believe you made the right decision the children will benefit greatly from the puppy and know that their dad helped with the decision. My prayers are with you and your family God Bless

[Kai Doodle (Kathy & Keith)]

Betsy~
I am so sorry about your husband's illness. I don't think you are crazy.I think the puppy will give you and your children a willing ear and a warm heart to help you get through a very difficult time. If you are concerned about what other people will say I suggest smiling at them and saying "Dirk & I decided to do this for the kids and we are both very happy to be able to do this together." Trust your heart, it's right.

[Lynn D.]

I am very sorry to hear about your husband.

I like the idea! Yeah, times are tough -been there done that! I was always happy for my special critters that could take my mind off the less then happy situation at hand. They were comforting to me and my child.

I would make sure that you have support from friends and family, maybe one person specifically that can help with the puppy.