Wanted: Perfect Doodle

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

When we got Fudge, I don’t remember what research I did on the computer regarding Doodles, but I remember the no shedding was the icing on the cake.  I had spent years vacuuming up after two Labs and for a short haired dog, those dogs shed like nobody’s business.  A Labradoodle seemed like the best of both worlds for our family.  The wonderful personality of a Lab combined with no shedding just seemed perfect to me.  Luckily for us, without knowing what we were doing, we decided on Fudge, a F1B Labradoodle and she absolutely does not shed a hair.  What she does do is mat and mat and mat.   Imagine my surprise when I got on DoodleKisses AFTER we got Fudge and found out that many Doodles do indeed shed, and many shed buckets of hair, and others need lots and lots of grooming.  Next, we got our Vern, a F3 Labradoodle and while he sheds just a little, he does not mat like Fudge, although he should have come in a different color because he does like to roll in everything.  Sometimes, it is true that God looks out for fools, because we sure got lucky with our Doodles and the no shedding.

 

I also kept hearing that Doodles have the absolute best personality of any dog.  They love all other dogs, people, children, infants, and small creatures.  Well, guess what?  I socialized Fudge with other dogs at a very early age.  She has been to Puppy classes, doggie daycare, the pet sitter, and on play dates, but there are lots of dogs she does not like.  We no longer go to the dog park for this reason, yet I feel I did everything right, so why doesn’t Fudge love all other dogs?  Why isn’t she perfect? Everyone said Doodles get along with all dogs.  What I have come to terms with regarding Fudge is that she gets along with the dogs I care about, Vern, my daughter’s dogs, and my pet sitter’s dogs, and while we will probably never go to a Doodle Romp or back to the Dog Park, it does not diminish the love I feel for her.  She is also the most wonderful dog around the elderly, family and friends, nieces and nephews, and I am her favorite person in the whole wide world and she lets me know that every single day.

 

Next, we have our Vern, the sweetest dog on the planet, but not the bravest.  He spends half his life looking over his shoulder for the bogeyman and is much more cautious than Fudge is with people.  Once he loves you, he does not forget, but he wants to be sure you are worthy first.  Maybe I didn’t take him as many places as we did Fudge, because taking two dogs is a lot harder than taking one dog, but still we got out every single day and he has been to all the same places as Fudge, doggie daycare, dog sitter, puppy classes, and obedience classes.  When we brought him home and he met Fudge for the first time, he peed all over himself and made fearful sounds like you cannot believe.  It didn’t take long for him to fall in love with Fudge, but Vern is never going to be as brave as Fudge or let a stranger into our house without a word of warning first.  Why isn’t Vern perfect?  Everyone told me Doodles love everyone.  What I have come to terms with regarding Vern is that what he lacks in the bravery department, he makes up for in his ability to make me smile every day with his goofy ways and his infectious spirit.  Even when he peed in the Vet’s office after seeing himself in the mirror, I still was proud he was my dog and it did not diminish the love I feel for him.  I also feel safe when Vern is around because for a big old Chicken Doodle he has the absolute fiercest bark around and I really believe he would find a way to be brave if anyone threatened his much loved humans or Fudge.

 

I am a firm believer in that dogs and kids come with their own personality.  You can teach children right from wrong, but there is always going to be some kid that tests his parents daily and some kid that doesn’t.  My mom always talks about how much energy I had as a kid and how hard I was for her at times.  She claims my middle sister was far easier and the oldest preferred to stay in her room and read.  She also likes to tell everyone that her aunt made some sort of a lid for the top of my crib and a harness for me that kept me from climbing out of the crib.  The funny thing is she thinks crating a dog is mean, but apparently crating her own young child did not seem to bother her in the least.  The point I am trying to make is not that my mother should probably never speak of her parenting methods in public, but rather that every kid is different and you get what you get, in my opinion.  I feel the same way about dogs.  There is no breed of dog that arrives perfect or is perfect.  There is no human being on the planet that does not have quirks, flaws, and qualities that makes that person unique.   Aren’t we told as parents not to compare our children, yet we do it all the time with our dogs?

 

What does all this mean?  It means that one of the big problems with all the hype about Doodles is it is not fair to Doodles. People see an ad with a cute Doodle or hear a heartwarming story about a Doodle and right away think a Doodle is the dog for them.  After all, they must all be exactly like the dog in the story, right?  What they don’t take into consideration is the owner probably spent hours and hours training that dog and another few grooming the dog, because they sure don’t come that way.  I am not saying we don’t have some great dogs, because we definitely do, but when we use words like perfect, never, and always, we are making broad assumptions and setting expectations at an unattainable level even for our much loved Doodles.  Doodles have medical problems, some can shed, none are immune to illness, they all go through the puppy biting stage, some are easily trained, some not so much, some have separation anxiety, others do not, some are fearful, some are not, some have food issues, and I think you get the picture.

 

All I know is I am tired of seeing those Doodles scroll down the front page; many of them purchased by people who wanted a perfect dog and when reality sets in, out goes the dog.  A dog is a huge commitment and lots of research, questions, and soul searching should be done before bringing one home to be a member of the family.  Every dog, Doodle or not, deserves a commitment by the person taking that dog into their home.  If you are a parent and your child wants a dog, make sure you know you will be the primary caretaker, no matter what they say.  I was dumb and fell for that line and while my daughter was talking on the phone and out with friends, I was running home at lunch letting out the dog, cleaning up throw up, walking the dog, going to the vet, and filling food and water dishes. My daughter says all the time, “mom, I was ten, let it go,” but I guess I can’t just yet.  I think a dog is one of the best things you can do for your children and I think it teaches them love, selflessness, and kindness, BUT, and it is a big but, kids and dogs equal more work for the adult, and it is not fair to get rid of the dog because you didn’t think about that beforehand. I don’t know what to do to get people to stop buying dogs impulsively and to realize that a dog is a living creature with feelings and shouldn’t be tossed out like trash when the going gets tough.  All I know is that it starts maybe with all of us and when someone asks us about our Doodles, we should make sure we say and I am going to misquote Forrest Gump, “Doodles are like a box of chocolate.  You never know what you are gonna get.”

[F, Calla & Luca]

Some people are getting together Sun. at Ocean Grove, I gather. May or may not go. The ocean is cold but the weather may be nice.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

N.J. Romp? I missed this.

Shedding-I'd rather vacuum than groom an F1b. Truth

The perfect dog.  After logging 50 hours on the phone recently for ONE foster dog, you could hear me walk around the house groaning after I got off the phone.  " What, the dog is not good on a leash?  What do you mean she does not like the car? You feed her what? Training? Why are you requesting training?  Well, we have had many dogs and we will train all the issues out of the dog.  Fence?  Children?  What do you mean the doodle is not perfect?  Why are you posting her when she needs work?  Fix it and then call me back.

And... I thought this dog was PERFECT. I did!  Darn  near.  Happy, playful, upbeat.  Even with that perfect piece of chocolate in a box, it still needs a pretty package and a wax sleeve.  You would not pick it up off the ground not knowing.....

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Laurie, I love you. And I love this blog.

No dog is born loving children, or anyone else. That takes exposure, socialization, proper handling & experience, and it is also affected by temperament. Every Golden Retriever (or Lab, or Poodle, or Scottish Terrier, or whatever) doesn't have the same temperament as every other member of his breed. Why don't more people know that? Because they don't know about dogs.  I wish that everyone who is interested in getting any kind of dog, and especially people who have never had their own dog before, would just read and educate themselves about dogs, period.

I wish that people would think about what makes any dog a wonderful companion. Hint: It isn't color, sex, size, or coat-type.

Getting a dog because the kids want one is a really bad reason to get a dog, any dog. The person who is purchasing the dog has to want him, or it just won't work. I wish that everyone who wants to get a dog "for the kids" would ask themselves, if I didn't have children, would I still want a dog? Kids want a lot of things, but they can't own anything, especially a living creature. If the adults who do own the dog don't want him with all their hearts, it's simply unfair to take away his chances of being adopted by someone who does. The fact is that people with children relinquish their dogs far more often than people without children, and "first time" owners relinquish dogs far more often than people who have lived with dogs for awhile.

What I really wish more than anything is that every dog had a home like Fudge and Vern's. :)

[Camilla and Darwin]

So true Laurie. Lately I've seen a lot of owners get a puppy and expect to have the dog be completely perfect. It's unfair, and unrealistic. Dogs are boring without quirks just like humans. :-)

[Mimi Linna, Lilly and Lolly]

amen sister.  just like siblings..no two are alike. 

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

Laurie, you said this PERFECT- ly! Knox is far from perfect but so am I! Why do people expect their dogs to be perfect when they aren't? I do know that Knox loves me PERFECT-ly, and that's all that matters!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Amen Laurie. I have one overly enthusiastic greeter and one who is OK now but used to be shy meeting people. Just yesterday I took the dogs to a park that was new to us. I am so glad I can always tell kids it's OK to pet the dogs without worrying because I truly trust the dogs to be good with the kids. That is a blessing.

But they have more quirks than I'd ever believe. Luca is vocal and has different barks and sounds for his needs. Today he let me know he actually wanted some of his breakfast and that  I should open his crate. I was extra careful today as yesterday Calla had two breakfasts after I left Luca's food unguarded. Calla would be outside through a hurricane if I forgot her. She'll never let you know anything other than with "the look".

As to Fudge, you must bring her to a NJ romp. I'll go Sunday if you come : ) I do believe she'll be fine but if not we'd leave and tour the shore, I like that rhyme : ) She could not possibly not like my doodles!

[Linda, Charlie Brown and Beau]

Love this blog Laurie.  You hit the nail on the head!

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

what a wonderful blog Laurie! I totally agree. Each dog is an individual, and there is no such thing as perfect. So many people on here do so much for their dogs, I wish everyone could be like us!