What's In a Name? I am Going to be a Grandma!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

This blog has nothing to do with dogs, other than the fact that my newly pregnant daughter and I have four between us. For those of you that follow my blogs, you know that my daughter and I have a long-standing disagreement about whose dogs are better.  We argue about a lot of things like who is smarter and she loves to play her PhD card.  The last time she said something, I told her she is book smart, but I am street smart, and she said, “what street? Sesame Street?”  Most of the things my daughter and her husband say are mostly to see what reaction I will give, especially about my dogs, because they both love Fudge and Vern, but that never stops us from trying to one up the other.  I love my grand dogs and would take them in a heartbeat, but I never have a moment’s hesitation about pointing out their faults to give my dogs the lead in this private competition we have going on about our dogs.  Besides, I know I am right about my dogs and my brain.

 

Well, all that aside, and since DK is part of my life and I have shared so many other things on this site, I would like to announce that this dog loving daughter is pregnant, which means I am going to be a grandma. This daughter is fiercely independent and I just know this is going to be a problem for me with the pregnancy and birth of our first grandchild.  It’s already started!  Before she got pregnant, a while back, she told me a name she liked for a girl and I told her I was going to start praying for a boy immediately. I can’t even remember what the name was, and I was sworn to secrecy so nobody else would steal the name, even though I assured her repeatedly I doubted anyone else would want the name.  She told me it was her baby and she could name it whatever she wanted and I should keep my thoughts to myself.  I am paraphrasing, because it wasn’t really all that nice the way she said it, and when I asked her how she would know what I was thinking if I kept everything bottled up inside, she said, “exactly, now you are catching on!”  She always likes to add that sometimes I should just listen and my favorite thing to do when she says that is to say, “what?” 

 

John and her husband, Doc, say we are button pushers.  They say we like to push each other’s buttons and sometimes they just don’t get that we are only conversing and the loud voices are just the way we do things.  For them, it is always a fine line they walk whether or not to get involved and risk a couple of button pushers turning their attention on some new button holes or just to walk out of the room shaking their heads.  We always end up laughing, but we have reached an impasse with the name I want to be called by my first grandchild.  For years, I have said I want to be called Mamacita and recently she officially squashed that idea.  First, she said it made no sense since Doc is Vietnamese and then she had the audacity to say I don’t fit the description and she couldn’t stop laughing. 

mamacita from the urban dictionary

1)"Hot mama", "sexy lady" in the U.S. and Central America and Mexico

Mamacita (from Google)

Mamacita is a diminutive form of 'mamá', the Spanish word for 'mum'. Diminutives are often used to imply affection or fondess, as well as smallness, obviously. The equivalent word in English would be 'mummy', or literally: 'little mummy'.

Since I don’t want her to be stressed during her pregnancy, I conceded defeat on that name and said, “how about Glam or Glamma?”  I became alarmed when it sounded like she doubled over with some kind of spasms as she answered back, “Did you say Ham Hock?”  She knows darn well those two words don’t even sound like Glam or Glamma and who wants their grandkid running around saying, “Ham Hock, I made this macaroni necklace just for you!”

 

Next, Doris (of Doris, Knox, and Flash) got all excited when she came up with the name Lolly for me and Pop for John.  Well, I ran the names by John and he said to tell Doris to lose our number and he wanted to be called something different.  Since he didn’t specify what, I ran a few preliminary names by him, but he said he doubted Megan was going to go for any of them, especially Stupid Name Squasher, and he thought anything with the name Mother in front of it was just going to confuse the kid.  When I told Megan the Lolly Pop idea, she said to imagine myself out somewhere with her kid screaming, “Lolly, Pop,” over and over again.  So, I closed my eyes for a minute and imagined the scene and said, “I like it,” and Megan said she would go along with it if I made one minor change from Lolly to Dum-Dum.   Well, I did love those Dum-Dum suckers, especially the Butterscotch flavor, but if John doesn’t have to be called Sucker, I am not going to be called Dum-Dum. Another name down the drain.

 

I can already see how this is all going to play out. First, my name ideas got shot down and next it will be my motherly advice.  The other day she actually told me I have no say in anything and all decisions would be made between the parents only.  I tried to argue that her kid was going to have my DNA too, and she said, “That’s why it took Doc so long to agree to have a baby.”  They laugh hysterically when they say this stuff and then she always adds, “Tell dad what I just said. That was a good one.”  She’s going to be sorry when she calls for my advice and I tell her, “sorry, Ham Hock Dum-Dum is not available at this time, but maybe Mother Sucker Pop Pop can help.” See how she likes it when I hand the phone to him, she explains the whole situation to him, and she thinks he hung up on her because it takes him so long to respond.  No one wants someone pondering the question on the other end of the line when you want fast answers. Megan and I are “hurry up and answer the question” kind of people and John is more the “let’s think this completely through and stare off into space while doing it,” type, which is never a good match.  In fact, it may be the worst combination of people of all time, because while he is pondering and thoughtfully and carefully relaying his thoughts, we are drumming our fingers, silently fuming, and eventually, when our blood pressure is near stroke level, our emotions boil over and we start screaming things about not having enough time in the day and we are sorry we asked.  In retrospect, it may be part of John’s master plan to avoid conversation, but I figure two passed phone calls to John and she will be yelling in the phone, "SWEET, LITTLE, ATTRACTIVE MAMACITA, I BEG YOU NOT TO PASS THE PHONE TO DAD!"

 

Mostly, I am jesting because I know with enough candy and bribes, I can make that kid call me whatever I want.   So, even though I have a few kinks to work out with the names, we are thrilled we are going to be grandparents.  Thrilled beyond belief!  I can’t wait to meet this new little wonder in August and I really feel that this could be John’s and my moment to shine.  Stay tuned……..

My daughter, Megan, and her baby bump!

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

LOL Karen and JD!  Finn told me he thought it would be awesome if Laurie, (aka Grandma Lolly Bokeh Bubbles) dressed up  in some of those costumes to entertain the little one :)  Don't shoot the messenger…I think you'd look stunning in lobster red :) (I should be working ;)

Bonnie, count me in on the mailing :)  

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Oh, and JD says it's much better to dress up babies than dogs. :) 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Laurie, that is purely a coincidence, although a funny one. I might be the only person you know who has never watched "Forest Gump" all the way through and intensely dislikes the parts she has seen. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, I feel like those names sound an awful lot like Bubba Gump's shrimp. LOL

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

F, Keep in mind most of my costumes are dog costumes :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Doris, Don't be bitter :) LOL John said for you to lose his number permanently :) In fact, he asked for Tim's number to have a talk with him. LOL I like the names. Megan isn't the boss of me....just don't tell her. I can whisper the names in the kid's ears over and over again until I get my way. They do make me smile.

F, Cheryl suggested Bokeh :) No wonder you like Bubbles....wasn't that the name of Michael Jackson's CHIMP? Stop calling me a monkey. LOL Why can't you think of Sofia Vagarro when you think of me?? Don't answer.

Bonnie, LOL...Megan would kill me :)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Bubbles is very close to the Yiddish word for grandmother, "Bubbe". And since you are Jewish by marriage, Laurie, what with John being F's brother, that seems very fitting.

Gum could be lengthened to "Gumpa", which is how many little ones say "Grampa" anyway. :)

[Bonnie and Kona]

Doris, Maybe we could start a letter campaign. DK could flood Megan's mailbox with requests for Lolly and Pop!

[F, Calla & Luca]

I think Bubbles is terrific for Laurie, Sherie. I do think John deserves better than Gum though. Now when I think of Laurie I will think of Beverly Sills, another fun loving gal.

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

I barely slept last night after reading this blog. I suggested "Big Foot" strictly out of anger and that wasn't fair to you. I am so sorry, Laurie. It's Megan and John that I need to win over. Surely they realize that I had given a lot of thought and consideration into the names "Lolly" and "Pop" and didn't just pull them out of thin air. They need to step back and think about this generationally. How many other family trees start with "Lolly and Pop?" These names could be enjoyed for years and years to come! They reflect the good-natured, fun-loving couple that you are. Who can say those names without smiling and isn't that how you want to be remembered?? I realize that I'm preaching to the choir, so may I should just contact Megan and John directly. Numbers, please??