help my dad cant go near my golden doodle

[jennifer caracappa]

hi i have a 9 month old black golden doodle she is ver timid of my dad my dad feeds her and changes her water. he also gives her bone can anyone tell us why she doesnt like my dad

[Lynne of Fountain Falls]

We found that one of our doodles was very timid and suspicious of men, when they came to her house. She was fine when she met men in the park or outside, but did not like for them to come in her house(she lives with a couple, one of which is a man) Not wanting her to hide and refuse to be social to company, we started asking men friends to sit on the floor and offer her treats. It seems to be helping some. It is so important to get those young dogs out in public and in obedience classes so that they will be exposed to lots of situations. This owner didn't take her pup to classes at the age when they are prone to develop their fears. I think we can work through this behavior with patience and consistency. consistency. She is such a sweety that I'm sure she will come around.

[Christine & Shelby]

I also think having your dad work with her for a while each day would be great. He should be down on the floor and place a treat out in front of him (a good smelly one). Let your doodle come get the treat, tell your dad not to move to pet her or anything - movement will spook her. Then gradually move the treat closer and then have her take the treat from his open hand - still making no motion to pet or grab her. Once she learns to trust him... and you will be able to tell - tail will be relaxed, no hesitation to get the treat from your dad.... then introduce petting.... slowly! Good luck. Shelby had a brief period where she started to show fear towards men. Since I am on my own and most of my friends are women.... I was concerned. So - I thought to myself... where can I take her that there are lots of men. Can you guess? I take Shelby to either Lowe's or Home Depot every weekend... she is a hit and gets lots of attention from everyone, but more men than a typical day. Let us know how it goes!

[Lynne of Fountain Falls]

Home depot and Lowes, I love it. Great idea.

[HeatherA]

Both of my girls are intimidated by my husband. He's working with our trainer on his body language and building their confidence. It's hard to say with so little information what could be causing it -- obviously if he ever loses his temper, physically disciplines her, intimidates her - that would be the cause. But, like in my husbands case, it just seems to be the way the dogs read his body language. He's tall, not a super cheery guy.. he tends to be "down to business" with them and they don't read him as friendly. High reward treats, lots of praise, and playing/training with them - not just caring for them.

Something like this would be unlikely to be "diagnosed" online. Definitely look into training. A trainer can help you work on your dogs confidence issues and perhaps address how your Dad can build trust with your dog. Most classes around here allow anyone that wishes to come with the dog, so you and your Dad can attend together.

Good luck!

[Amanda and Quinn]

Quinn was a little afraid of my husband when he was a puppy, and my husband is a really gentle and mellow guy - he's just big and has a deep voice. I doubt there's any real "reason" she's afraid of your dad, but we solved it pretty quickly with some tips from our trainer. My husband would reach for Quinn's collar and say "hi!" or something like that at the same time as he gave Quinn a really delicious treat. (She wanted to make sure he could safely grab his collar in an emergency.) Same with putting on his leash - Quinn used to shy away from that, but he learned very quickly that his hand approaching him was a good thing, because he'd get the leash and a great treat. I wouldn't recommend either of those things with a dog that's truly terrified of men, of course. But with mild fears they do learn in time if you stay calm and consistent. Good luck!

[Ginny Nightingale]

Great advice! I have nothing to add except to say except that I have a timid dog too and she was terrified of my son and husband when I first got her at 8 months. They didn't push themselves on her, but were just gentle and friendly day after day. It took some time, but my husband is now her very best friend and, when we left her with my son while we went away, she bonded with him, too and was even sleeping in his bed at night! Now, she loves him to pieces. So, just be patient and follow the advice of the others. it will work.
The number ONE thing to remember is to NOT comfort her (petting, talking sweetly) when she shies away from your dad. This is a way of telling her that she is right to be afraid of him! Just ignore the scared behavior (backing away from dad, hiding behind you) and be sweet to her when she is friendly to him.

[Natasha]

Has he taken her for walks? That may help encourage a positive relationship and reset her brain at the same time. You might try walking with him (he holds the leash) a few times and then let him go with her on his own.

[Leslie J]

Cocoa acted very timid around my brother in law. She is comfortable around all other men but she was afraid of him. He's very tall and has an especially deep gravely voice which I'm guessing bothered her (he loves dogs and has had them all of his life, so he is not awkward or hostile around dogs). They stayed for several days and I couldn't get her to trust him. They came to visit again and I had to run a few errands. While he was home alone with her he gave her treats and took her for a little walk. It really helped! I think not having "mom" was helpful (a little like sending kids off to kindergarten!). Now she is pretty normal around him most of the time.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Jennifer,
Is it just your dad, is it men, and is she afraid of other things? Sometimes these manifest in more fears sometimes not. For us it got way out of hand.

My girl had some serious fear issues that we are working through with slow and steady SUCCESS :) You are invited to join us in the Fear and Anxiety Group. I have not posted there in while but have learned many great things so far in dealing with just one fear or many fears. I'll be updating in there soon on my situation.

In the mean time, don't force her to befriend him. Respect her opinion, her fear, and give her some space. Just because he throws her a treat is not a good enough reason to get a pet back--in her eyes right now.