Help! Mousse growls at my husband.

[Tracy A]

My husband has been away on business since dec 1st. He came back in town last week and the day he came home, he came up behind Mousse and loudly greeted him...it startled mousse and he got behind me barking at growling. He quickly calmed down after I made the "ah!" noise but was still very cautious around my husband. We figured he just forgot him since he's been gone so long. Since then he's been growling at men that come over the house. He is clearly fearful when he does it. He growls, but cowers at the same time. He relaxed around my husband after that first day and seemed normal. Husband was petting him, etc.

A few days ago, he jumped up on the counter to steal some food when I wasn't home and my husband scolded him for it. He told me Mousse growled at him again, but again was clearly afraid. Tonight, we came home and he was very playful so my husband playfully lunged at him, which he usually loves and makes him run around and get his ball. This time, he jumped back, started growling and barked a very low bark a few times. He again was cowering and had his tail between his legs. When I came around the corner, he instantly stopped, but every time my husband walked toward him he cowered and growled again.

I have to also say that Mousse just turned 1, NEVER barks, and this is the FIRST time I've ever heard him growl. He never barks or is protective about people coming to the door, he loves new people and is so sweet natured. Since husband came home It's only been SOME men, but only men that he's been growling at.

I'm confused as to why he's doing this and am not sure how to handle it. I don't know if my husband needs to show him who's boss or comfort him? Should I console or scold him when he does this? I usually agree with the Ceasar idea that you should never console behavior you don't like, but I just don't want to traumatize him. Also, husband is leaving again this Friday for a few weeks again. Is there anything I can do to help while he's gone?

[Suzann, Rosey & Bandit]

Maybe your husband could spend some time with him on fun training like paw, shake, rollover, take him for walks etc... It sounds like they just haven't bonded because of the travel your husband has had to do.  He needs to try a be a positive environment around Mousse.  Maybe aggressive play is too much because the "trust" is not there yet.  He may also be resource guarding You:)

[Lesley, Wellington & Bingley]

 

Please do not scold him for this. He is acting this way out of fear. You have mentioned 3 times when your husband scared Mousse so from Mousse's perspective there is good reason to be wray of him.

 

It's a shame that your husband has to go away again but perhaps whilst he is away you could make a point of calmly introducing Mousse to more men, and always offering treats when you do.

 

Ask your husband to be calm around Mousse, not to make any sudden advances towards him and just let Mousse take his time to trust him. Definately no boisterous games for now - one day at a time. Get him to put Mousse's food down and throw him treats randomely. Talk in soothing tnes not loud macho voices! Im sure he will quickly learn to trust him again.

 

Good luck x

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

I agree with all that has been said so far. Good advice! And it might be helpful for your husband to let Mousse approach HIM rather than your husband making attempts to touch or approach Mousse.  Have DH sit on the floor with a treat but not look at or move toward Mousse. Mousse is fearful and needs to have the time and space to overcome the fear without being pushed. This may take some patience on DH's part. Being away for 3 months is a LONG time to a dog who is just 1 year old!! 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I'm guessing that Mousse sees you as his "leader", and not your husband.  Because your husband has been away so much, he probably doesn't know what his role is in the household, and he may even be seeing himself as being in a higher position than your husband.  He stopped his behavior when he saw you come around the corner because he knew you (as the leader) would take care of him, and he no longer needed to react.  In my opinion, you will need to help your husband to establish his position.  He can take over some of the feedings...preparing the dog's food and then making him sit and wait for it.  He can take over some of the walks and even some training.  All of this should help to establish trust and a leadership bond.  The fear should subside once your husband is able to establish himself as a fair and loving leader.  I definitely agree that while this is going on the excited and even somewhat aggressive play will be counter productive.  Good luck, and keep us posted.

[Ginny Nightingale]

You have gotten terrific advice. I have a dog who is the exact same way and it has been a big problem. She is OK with my hubby, who is home all the time and never rough houses with her--he knows she is easily scared and he does not play with her that way. She was terrified of him when I first got her at 8 months but loves him now.

He has other friends, however, who come over and immediately SCOLD her when she barks and gets scared--they don't like her because she doesn't like them. I tell them to ignore her or just speak in light, non-threatening tones--But some people see it as "weakness" to "cater" to a dog....really! I can't believe it myself, but where I live, a dog is just a dog. These guys almost DEMAND that the dog like them! So, I try to keep her away from them! She is much better when not at home, so it really is a "guarding' behavior. She is a momma's girl for sure.

One other thing I noticed in your post is that the dog is just turning one year old. When a dog leaves puppyhood and enters a more adult phase, some parts of their personality can change--just like a child who is now a teen. They can start to exhibit these behaviors and then you need to start working with them all over again.

Hang in there and follow this advice--it works!

[Adina P]

The advice from Caesar your husband should implement is that when he's around Mousse he should behave in a calm and assertive manner--and QUIETER.  Not so startling, not so rough.  And by 'assertive' that does NOT mean scolding.  Mousse could wear a drag line around the house so IF he's caught counter surfing he can be instantly corrected off the counter in a very calm, matter-of-fact way, without any yelling or other interaction.  Mousse could very well be using his submissive threatening behavior as a way to control what happens to him because he is feeling insecure and afraid.  But that can also turn into a bite so random confrontation and scolding on the part of your husband (who has lost whatever bond he had with the dog) is NOT a good idea.  He should NEITHER scold him or console him.  Mousse is showing submission possibly to get him to go away because for whatever reason he's not comfortable around your hubby.  And when the submission is not paid attention to he'll resort to growling.  Or snapping/biting if he feels threatened or cornered or trapped.

 

I agree with others that Mousse should go through obedience training--but not just tricks like shaking a paw.  It should be the real stuff that is important to every day life AND it would help if your husband could participate in this as much as possible.

 

Until then do more socialization with him out in the world.  Take him lots of places.  You don't even have to do major work with men right away...just let him see that being out in the world actually is safe and non-threatening.  You then can work on having men offer him treats...but FIRST try creating a routine by which you have him sit and then give him a command that means 'okay you can go get a treat now from this nice person' and do it with women so he understands the routine and knows the routine is safe.  THEN when you want to try it with MEN he'll know how this treat routine works and will be more inclined to TRY to get a treat from a man because he'll find some security in the routine. Of course these 'men' need to be super calm and not excited or pushy about it.  Really take it slow.

 

That said find a good obedience class as a start.

 

I discussed your post with a trainer friend and the above is my paraphrase of what she suggested.

I'm also thinking that perhaps that three months where your hubby was gone was during an important transition period for Mousse (for whatever reason) and it was long enough to make the difference between a person Mousse recognized as trustworthy and a person he did not recognize as trustworthy.  Mousse is growing up and sometimes dogs change as they enter adulthood.  Is Mousse neutered?  Has he been around men much since Dec 1st?

 

[Bonnie and Kona]

Adina,You are a gift! Thank you for all of this information. I learn something every time I read your posts.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Our Vern is a big chicken and seems to be especially intimidated around men. We have had him since he was a puppy, my husband is extremely loving with him, he adores my DH, and we are out all the time. He is just very cautious with new people. I am trying to take him out more, without Fudge, and use treats as we pass by people, etc. We are also going to start up again with our trainer. Meanwhile, our trainer recommended the book Help for the Shy Dog.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

In addition to the other suggestions, I wonder if it would help at all for your husband to make a recording - I don't know what to put on it, but you could play it every day and at least Mousse would hear it voice when he is gone.  Maybe record a conversation between the two of you and play it behind a closed door so Mousse might think he is actually there? 

How about a worn shirt of your DH's in Mousse's sleeping area?