Kids say "Let's not talk about the dogs!"

[Ginny Nightingale]

I had an interesting conversation with my older daughter the other day--I tried to put on my best "thick skin" but it still hurt, I'm afraid. I wonder if any of you have had this same experience!

My daughters, who are 29 and 27 visit every few months--we do not see them often as they both live a distance away.They both have a CAT. Since all three of our kids are out of the house now, the dogs (we have three doodles) have filled a void for us. We are both retired and have quiet lives in the country, to the dogs are the main entertainment. As many of you know, one of the doodles had puppies this winter and that kept us very occupied. 

Anyway, my daughter told me that they would prefer it if we didn't talk about the dogs so much when they visit--she said we are either all sitting with the dogs and watching them or talking about them--and it just isn't interesting to her at all. OUCH! Could it be that she is a bit jealous? Naaa--but i did tell her that once I have GRANDchildren, this problem will be solved. In the meantime, I am going to have to come up with new topics--hmmm--I raked leaves today--maybe they want to talk about that--or my garden perhaps?? LOL! I am afraid I don't have much of a life beyond the doods! The highlight of many of our days is a trip to the dogpark! 

My first thought when she said this was how much I appreciate the DK website--where so many others share my obsession. Right now, I have FOUR doodles at my feet sleeping or playing (Momma Lyric is playing with her pup, Rio). The fourth doodle is Nola, another momma who has had her two puppies here--they are both sleeping upstairs--so, that's 6 doodles altogether--I have also started grooming them for other people--yikes! I am obsessed with doodles! YUP!I 

I understand my daughter's frustration--now that she is about to graduate from vet school, she has bigger things to talk about. I hope I can keep up with her. On the other hand, my other daughter, whose life is no less full than her sister's is, talks about her cat, Sprocket, incessantly. I have to admit that it is boring and I guess that is the way she feels about my doodles too. It is even tougher for her to visit because she doesn't even like dogs!

Then there is my son--he LOVES the dogs and rolls on the floor with them while they gleefully lick his face! So, that is the bright spot in all of this.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

My kids are virtually out of the house also (one left who lives at college and only comes home when he has to).  The doodles have taken their place in our preoccupation (thanks for doodlekisses). The kids, except for the youngest son, love dogs, but do not think our doodles are more than worthless mutts. They can't believe we paid a lot for Ned (I tell them it is countered by Clancy's rescue fee). The youngest loves dogs, likes the doodles but only as a distant second to the Springer Spaniel. We do have a granddaughter - finally! and the doods have taken second place to her, but she doesn't live at our house and we don't see her every day. Plus we have to keep our opinions and advice to a minimum.  

So what do we talk about with them after we discuss how cute Evie is? Gee...  How is college? Tell me about your classes? How is the grad school application going? What about trying harder for a summer job?  What do you need more money for? How are your dogs?

 Gosh = Is it still all about them???

[Kyoko]

Ginny, I am with you! Although my kids are little younger, they do act jealous, too!! I mean seriously.... They do LOVE both of the dogs and will do anything for them, and feel as they are part of our family. They care for Butter deepy and takes great care of this senior dog along with Charlie. They understand that we have to care greatly for them since they cannot verbally communicate with us, and we chose to have them in our lives. However, they will make small resentful comments like " You buy more stuff for Charlie." 

I don't know. I think that they catch themselves being a bit silly saying things like that but can't help themselves!!

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I say between now and her next visit you make a list of as many questions as you can, all about her, just get all up in her business, and when she gets there just start asking away ..... chances are she might just turn the conversation right back to doodles!  :o)

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Ah another human child voicing her opinion on our doodle obsession, believe me this is nothing new. I try really hard not to get annoyed right back at our daughter who has my 2 granddogs that I listen intently about all of the time and love hearing to by the way.

Share your obsession with us and let it go that's what I do. I also am careful not to go on and on all the time with anyone. It's tough cause she is our fun afterall.

[Alli and Barkley]

You sound like me- except that my two kids are 5 and 2.  I find myself obsessed with all things Disney, and Doodle :)

 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

My kids also think that I'm obsessed with the Doodles....and they're absolutely right.  I can't tell you how often my younger daughter has said "Mom, they're just dogs".  She doesn't get it, because right now her life is filled with all the activity that comes with raising four kids.  My older daughter is also really busy with two kids and working full time as a teacher.  They just can't envision a life like mine right now, where the Doodles fill so much of a void.  I tell them all the time that they're lucky I have the dogs, because otherwise I'd be "bugging them".  That usually quiets them down for a while.  It is wonderful to have the DK forum to share this "Doodle addiction" with so many others who feel the same way.

[Ginny Nightingale]

Except for all the grandchildren you have (lucky you!) that is my story too--I really don't want to bug my kids as they have very busy lives now Caller ID prevents me from talking to them anyway since they can see that it is me and not answer it! My younger daughter has not spoken to me in any way but email since early January and she doesn't even realize it!.

Even though he is here with me every day, my husband is a very independent person who makes his own plans every day and pretty much "tunes me out"--so, I need those dogs!! It is wonderful to come home and have someone who is happy to see you! 

I really meant this to be light-hearted, but i can see that it has brought out some serious responses--we all have more in common than just our doodles--we are "people who need people" and this forum has made life easier for us. I love writing the blog and I am glad so many people enjoy it. I am going to add some puppy photos today from Nola's litter and I am sure it will put a smile on the face of puppy lovers.

[Heather and Rocky]

Yeah, this really struck a chord in me... I don't feel free to really vent my own issues on this topic here - because it's my own complex mother/daugther relationship issues that the dogs have entered into .... but my mom could be checking out my DK page - ha ha.  But, let's just say it's complex isn't it??  I'm just very thankful that we have our doodle.  I balance him out with parenting three young children - and honestly he's just like one of the kids!!  I just wish we could take him to Disney!!  LOL! 

[Kristine and Charlie]

OMG...what a funny but totally real discussion!  Only DK'ers can understand our doodle obsessions.  I'm a stay-at-home-mom and my kids are grade school age....Charlie has definately filled the void of them being gone all day.  He is such a great dog and we all love him but my family and friends definately think I'm obsessed with him.  They can't believe there is such a site as DK!  My husband jokes all the time that I love Charlie more than him.  I know I talk about him a little too much, spend too much time on DK and spend more time training/taking him to classes on a daily basis than most of our friends/family do with their dogs....I often wonder if DK members are not the average dog lover/owner.  It seems we put a lot of time and effort into feeding, training and caring for our doodles.  Are there other websites like DK out there for other breeds?

[Dreamydoodles Northwest]

My kids are young and my 12 year old and 6 year old daughters love the dogs and puppies but my oldest son who is 14.. wishes we only had one dog.. our Aussiedoodle male. I asked him why he doesn't like the puppies and he said because they poop too much..haha! Which is just silly because it's not like he's cleaning it up. Plus we keep our puppy area very clean so it's not like the house is destroyed or smells like poop. I honestly think he gets a little jealous too which is also silly. He gets an abundance of attention and love. My 6 year old told me she wants to be a vet and breed Goldendoodles. I said Great Idea! Then I can get all my genetic testing done for free! Sounds like a plan! **wink**

 

As far as  being addicted.. ME TOO! No one understands me. No one except maybe other Doodlers but most people at work make fun of me about my dog obsession. I'm 38 so I'm still too young to be that crazy "cat lady" so they don't know what to make of me..I've yet to find anyone who loves dogs as much as me. In person...at least.

 

I think you should be free to have your own life once your children move out. You lived most your life for them and now it's time for you to live for you. You are allowed to be a little selfish. maybe when they come over you could start conversations with them about something other then the Doods but bottom line is this is your passion and they should be happy you have one. A passion in life keeps you young, healthy and happy!

[Lorraine Bromley]

My one son is like that too. When I mention I was talking to some patient at work about the doodles or that I was on doodle kisses he gets jealous! When we took Neely with us to Quebec for his ball tournament we teased him all the time by taking pictures of him and the doodle with our sons head cut out!!!! He got a great dane and has brought her home for the summer and is making comments about our hairy dog! While his big gallout is flailing around the house like a baby horse!! Tell your daughter to start talking about HER life if she doesn't want to here about yours!

[Ginny Nightingale]

Follow up: We had a very nice weekend during which I tried very hard not to talk about doodles--I didn't actually succeed, but it was kept to a minimum. I have to add that my daughter loved Rio, the new puppy, and wanted to take him for a walk and sit with him and play--so that made it all so much easier--and fun!'Thanks for all the great comments and support!