Mini Rant About Expectations

[Leslie and Halas]

This happened last night at flyball, but I was just reminded of it reading Linda's discussion about Finn and one of Karen's responses to that discussion.  

We had a guest-dog at flyball last night.  A man brought in a border collie-mix that he's been fostering for 3 or 4 months.  We are in central Illinois, and a woman on the east coast is interested in adopting the dog, BUT ONLY IF SHE KNOWS IT WILL BE A GOOD FLYBALL DOG!!!!  If not, then she's not interested.  

The people that run our flyball team reluctantly agreed to let the dog come to our practice and give the woman their opinions.  We don't mind having guest dogs at flyball at all.  In fact, we love that.  But they weren't too crazy about trying to evaluate the dog.  The lady had a list of about 20 things that she wanted to know whether or not the dog could do.  Never mind that it takes a really long time to learn flyball.  It took Halas a year to be able to do a full run, and it was many months after that before he was ready to run in a tournament.  Whether a dog will be good at flyball can't be determined in one practice.  In one practice, you can only determine if the dog has some potential, catches on to the couple of things you show him, and seems to enjoy himself.  This lady wanted to know if the dog could already do certain tasks that take months to learn.  So here comes this dog, in a building she's never been to before, with a man that she's only known a few months, with about 5 or 6 other strange people and their dogs, and she's being asked to do some things that she's never done before.  I turned to some of my teammates, and I said, "The doodle rescue group that I know would never adopt a dog to this woman, just based on the fact that she wanted to put this condition on it."  

In my opinion, even if this dog was a flyball natural, I wouldn't let her adopt it, just because she has these expectations.  What happens if she gets the dog home and it doesn't meet her expectations?

The dog, Mia, really did a great job.  The people and other dogs didn't bother her a bit.  She did great on her recalls, didn't mind the noise the box makes, and was grabbing a tennis ball off the ground and bringing it back to her handler after only a couple of reps.  She seemed to enjoy watching the other dogs run. She even ended the night by going over a jump.  All things considered, that's a really great first flyball practice, and she does show a lot of potential.  But this lady had way more advanced things on her list that she wondered if the dog could do.  It's like she's hoping someone trained a dog for flyball, and then gave the dog up.

The whole idea of getting a dog specifically for it's flyball potential isn't really something our team is into anyway, so that's another part of the reason they were a little reluctant to try to evaluate her.  Our dogs are all family dogs first, flyball dogs somewhere down the list after that.  We all have the dogs we want, and if they are good at flyball, great.  If not, no big deal.  There are plenty of other dog activities to enjoy.  We see other flyball teams that selected their dogs specifically so they would be good flyball dogs.  There are even breeders mixing certain breeds in order to try to get the perfect flyball dog (a team of 4 Border collie-staffordshire terrier mixes just set the world record in UFLI flyball). But that's just not the way our team thinks.

Anyway, Mia may join us a few more times.  It was fun having her there, and she seemed to enjoy herself.  Overall, I think it will be a good experience for her.  And to whatever family does adopt her, maybe the foster can say that she seemed to enjoy flyball.  I just hope that this woman that requires her to be a good flyball dog isn't the woman that gets her.  Mia is a sweet girl, and she doesn't deserve to go to her new home with those kind of expectations placed on her.

[Frannie & Callie]

I agree with you. I just wouldn't let that person adopt Mia. That's like getting pregnant and getting an abortion because the bones measure short and you must have a child that can play in the NBA...or you don't want a child at all.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I really believe that unrealistic and/or unreasonable expectations are the main reason any dog loses his home. Sometimes it is just that a person remembers their childhood dog, the one that they only played with, never had the responsibility of housebreaking, feeding, grooming, training, exercising, and vetting, and then is overwhelmed and unprepared when they get a dog themselves and find out how much work and expense is involved. They don't remember the dog tracking in mud or throwing up on the carpet or shedding or jumping on visitors, necause those aren't things kids notice.

I have two neighbors who got dogs (not doodles) mainly because they loved the calm way Jackdoodle interacted with their young kids and saw how much their kids loved him. One of those dogs was returned to the local rescue a month later. The other one's status is questionable. They talked to their breeder about returning him, but ended up investing in training. I don't take the credit for JD's way with kids or his laid-back nature, but I do feel bad that these other dogs ended up in trouble because their owners assumed that all dogs would be just like Jack, the moment they entered their homes.

I know of families who are disappointed because a dog they thought would sleep on the child's bed prefers to sleep on the floor in the parents' room.

When it comes to adopting a rescue dog, it's best to follow the advice of JFK: Ask not what a dog can do for you, ask what you can do for a dog. Anybody who wants something from the dog other than love, loyalty and companionship should not be adopting.

 

 

 

 

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

This is the best post I have ever read Karen. Love the JFK analogy to adopting. So true. Thank you, very insightful.

[Holly St Pierre]

I couldn't agree more with Karen's comment.

 

[Camilla and Darwin]

I agree that that woman shouldn't get Mia. She's obviously interested in a dog for the wrong reasons.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

I agree with you and Karen 100%. Mia deserves better than that. Some people are so selfish. They are living beings, not objects to use for your own purposes.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Is the man fostering the dog considering this adopter?  Just wondering if he had the same thoughts and incite as you have?

[Leslie and Halas]

I don't know.  The people fostering usually get to at least offer their opinion, right?  He didn't say anything that I heard about whether or not he thought this other person would be a good owner.  Or whether or not he had a say in the process.

 

[Carol Brand]

The other issue.... Even if this dog is a Fly Ball super star what happens if it gets hurt... like say blows an ACL and can not do Fly Ball again.  What then?

[sandy b]

I so agree with everything that's been said. Mia deserves so much better than this woman.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

A friend of ours stepmother adopted an ALD from a very reputable breeder about 6 months before we brought Tara home (different breeder). This woman wanted her doodle to be a Therapy Dog.  The woman spent a lot of time training the pup but after about 9 months she suddenly returned it to the breeder. She had decided it wasn't going to make a good Therapy Dog and that was all she cared about apparently.  I felt to so bad for the pup but in the end maybe it was a blessing to get away from that woman. Hopefully its second home was a more loving one.  I agree, Mia deserves better.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

So many want the therapy dog or the this dog or that dog. How about, " I love dogs. I think I have enough love, a healthy dog environment, I can financially take care of the dog and, and THE DOG would be HAPPY Here living with us also"