Problems Feeding "People Food?"

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

After being on DK constantly & reading all the wonderful people food everyone is feeding their doodles (carrots, ground beef, broiled chicken, rice, pumpkin, yogurt, fruit of all types - even in BED, green beans, sweet potatoes...) I have a question.  I have never fed Bexter anything but his dry kibble (with the exception of a carrot after reading on DK about it).  It never occurred to me to feed him anything else.  I was always worried about that.  Do any of you have the following problems with this?:

1.  What if they like the other food so well they stop eating their kibble?

2.  Doesn't this teach them to beg at the table?

[Jennifer and Jack]

Well I broke all the rules and I still do.. I feed Jack off my plate, I break food off and I give it to him, HATE ME IF YOU MUST.. HAHAHAHAHAHa.. I know it is bad, he begs and he begs badly.. ( I cave under the pressure) Not only that he begs other people for food too.

 

I will wear my dunce cap, I did at one point consider getting the dog high chair and letting Jack eat with me at the table (hey sometimes you just don't want to eat alone) Just kidding about the high chair, It is a very bad idea to feed from the table, and while Jack's mouth has never touched a plate or a dish that didn't belong to him, sadly I break off my food and share with him anything healthy I am eating

 

I don't recommend it, I would do as the others say.. feed into their bowl only.. If I want to break this from Jack it will take so much hard work and honestly it does not bother me that much, except of course when I have company...

 

 

[Gayle Miller]

Jennifer, don't be so hard on yourself!  Our Doodle darlings are so hard to resist!  I'm on week 2 with Jackson and have practically cleared my calendar because I can't get myself to crate him and be gone for 2-3 hrs!  I;m getting NOTHING accoomplished....except playing and potty training Jackson!!!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I am going to give a little tough love here, so forgive me in advance.

There is nothing more annoying to me than having a meal at someone else's home and having their dogs sitting or standing there begging while I am eating. I would not be above trying to correct the behavior right then and there, or alternatively, asking the host to do it themselves. And you will not find anyone who loves dogs more than I do. Imagine how someone who doesn't love dogs would react.

People often put out snacks for company, even when a meal is not being served. Often these snacks are on a coffee table or other location convenient for the dog. Here again, unless you want your dog snatching food from a visitor, or drooling into the salsa, it is really best to start teaching the dog from an early age that food is never going to be given from someone's hands while they themselves are eating. Imagine trying to have a backyard BBQ or picnic with a begging dog around.

Also, if there are ever going to be children in your home, you are setting up a potentially dangerous situation. Children often walk around with food in their hands, or sit close to the ground eating. Even the sweetest, most even tempered dog in the world could injure a small child while trying to grab food from their plate or hand.

Okay, lecture over.

[Gayle Miller]

Such sound points, Karen.  My husband and I were at a BBQ a couple of weekends ago.  There was a lengthy cocktail party and 9 couples mingling outdoors.  I asked the hostess where was Sami....a pit bull mix that they adopted several months ago at the age of one.  She actually boarded the dog at the kennel for an overnight so it would not be doing just as you said....begging and snatching food off the tables!  I applaud the host for her consideration (there were a few guests that are not dog lovers) but I said to my husband, let that be a lesson to us as we were picking Jackson up the next day.  I couldn't imagine having to board my dog because it did not know how to behave when guests were over.....so well spoken advice, Karen!

[Melissa & Porter]

Your words and hitting home, and I have some work to do here--a lot really. 

But I want to ask one thing, if my dog lies under the table or sits near the table, is that offensive? 

Additionally, I feel a guest has no business correcting my dog if he sits near the table, or my children if they screech in the living room or me if I serve high fat food.  Yes, these things are annoying to some people, but this is how I live and I have invited you to my home.  When I go to other people's houses, I deal with their air "fresheners" that make me wheeze or their desire to overdress a salad before serving it. 

If a dog is trying to steal your dinner, that is one thing, but when my father-in-law smacked Porter's nose because he sat beside him at the head of the table...well, I was pissed, and I think I would have been pissed if he'd only used words as a correction too. 

I get it from this forum and from general vibe in the dog world that this is hugely offensive, so I am going to make it a priority to change it, but I don't get it in my gut.  It just doesn't bug me.

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

Peri lies on my feet while we eat but does not beg.

When we have friends over for dinner, sometimes I do put the dogs in the crates while we eat. Just to keep them away.

[Gayle Miller]

Melissa, points well taken as far as the behavior of guests in one's home!  I, obviously, am a dog lover as well and have a friend with a very unruly shetland collie.  While he's only  1-1/2 years old and not yet neutered (as I think that will make a huge difference in his temperment), when I go over to visit, he comes charging towards me and jumps up.  There goes  my white capri's!  :)  When sitting outside on a love seat, he comes running from the yard, leaps on the seat and is all over me as well.  I try to settle him down with a smile on my face, but I would NEVER correct nor advise my dear friend on what she should be doing.  I put up with it as I would not want to offend.  Now I would simply not permit my dog to behave that way and hopefully, I'll do the right things with Jackson at 10 weeks old today.  I do agree that a dog begging at the table is a huge annoyance that I don't even want to put up with let alone any of my guests but again, I think everyone should exercise good manners...both the host who should have some degree of empthay towards her guests and what they might or might not like and the guests in biting the bullet and trying to handle the situation graciously.

[Melissa & Porter]

Gayle,

I meant to reply to this earlier.  I feel for you and your white capris!  It is hard to put that smile on your face when your being clobbered by someone's dog.  A good experience to teach you how you want Jackson to behave though, I suppose. :-)

[Cindy M, Zachary & the Frenchies]

I agree completely. When I have large parties I let my dogs enjoy the evening in their room. Not everyone enjoys dogs, and I don't need to focus on what is going on between human and dog. Is someone feeding them food from a plate, are they hanging out with someone who is fearful ... I am able to enjoy my guests, which is how I want to spend the evening. If someone wants to meet my dogs - Gracie, Zoey and Bruno are always happy to great visitors in their room. If I am having a very small group of close friends over I try to enlist them to help me in working on dog behaviors that I can't do as a single person. Correct greeting of people at the door, not looking at guests while they eat (Bruno) and following through with MY interventions. I expect guests to act like guests and remember that they are in my home where I live with my dogs. I would have no problem asking someone who forgot that to leave.

[Melissa & Porter]

Cindy,

LOL at the image of Bruno watching people eat.  If I had more than one dog--and more bedrooms :-)--I might make them a room too.  That sounds lovely!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Okay, let me clarify.

Smacking a dog is unacceptable, no matter who does it or why. "Correcting" in this case would be me telling the dog to go to his place, go lie down, etc. I see no difference between that and one of my guests telling JD to go lie down when they are tired of him trying to get them to throw his ball for him. I cannot imagine being offended by a guest saying "That's enough, Jack, go lie down now".  If someone you know well enough to invite them for a meal saying something along those lines would offend anyone here, I am frankly speechless.  I also don't see the comparison to a guest's criticizing what is being served, which is simply rude; they have the choice not to eat it, after all. 

There is a difference between a dog quietly and calmly sitting or lying near a table where people are eating, and the following behaviors: A dog placing his face, head or feet on said table, or on the lap of the guest, or repeatedly hitting the guest with his paw, or jumping up to try to grab food from the guest, or whining for the food. I have experienced all of these behaviors at someone else's home, and I think any rational person would agree that they are not acceptable. It's generally understood that it's a host's responsibility to make the guests feel comfortable in their home, not the other way around.

When I am eating food in someone's home, it's always someone related to me or a very close friend, and I am not a person who stands on ceremony with family and friends. They know this about me, and accept it, or they probably wouldn't be inviting me over.

I do not "put my dog away" for anyone, guest or not. I have been asked to do so by guests whose children were so afraid of dogs, they screamed at the sight of my 18 lb very well-behaved poodle walking by. Too bad. They knew I had a dog before they got there. If a dog is jumping on someone or annoying them, that's another story. But my dogs don't do that.

 

[Melissa & Porter]

I hear what you're saying Karen.  Just like the tone or nuance of the correction is important to how I'd interpret it, so is the degree and type of begging. 

My goals at this point are to have Porter lying down if he's near, no more sitting close by.  Of course, my mom, the unabashed table feeder is coming to visit next week.  Thankfully, Porter is smart enough to know who is worth approaching and who isn't.  He never goes near my husband for example.  And with no one does he doesn't paw or press his chin, but I can see how hearing him breath from a few feet away could be distracting.

I also hear you on the terrified people.  I wish they could be made to understand that the more attention they give the dog, whether happy or anxious, the more attention the dog is likely to give them.  And why? why? the wild fluttering hands all over his head when you are scared of him!