The Vacation From "HELL"

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I'm posting this as a discussion rather than a blog because I really am looking for some input and suggestions.  Parts of our experience are actually pretty funny, but much of it is concerning.  Two weeks ago today we loaded up the two cars with "beach stuff" and headed out to the house we rent in the Summer at the shore.  We've been doing this our whole married lives, and our kids and grandkids join us and LOVE IT.  Usually it is wonderful family time....but this year not so much.  Dogs are welcome on the beach...they can be unleashed in the early morning and late afternoon and evening to swim and romp together.  Sounds perfect, right?  It actually was great for Guinness, but Big Murph came as close to a nervous breakdown as I think a dog can.  He was paranoid from the time we entered the beach house....smelling, pacing, running to the porch to "guard" his territory.  This house is literally right on the ocean, so there are always lots of people right in front of our porch...and dogs, and noisy seagulls, and boats, oh and the ice cream man who rings the bells several times a day.  All this was too much for Murph.  He guarded, and he barked, and he growled, and he barked some more, and then he paced and jumped at the screen....over and over for two weeks.  Here he is "on patrol" with Guinness....

You'll notice that Guinness has to stand on the picnic table to see out..it was his favorite spot.  Our DDs were totally disgusted with this.  They insisted on cleaning with antibacterial spray before allowing the kids to sit there with food.  That seems a bit excessive to me....I pushed the table cloth to the side while Guinness was up there...what more can they want.

Anyway, it all started on the first day.  My brother also rents a house  at the same time, and he comes with his family so all the cousins can be together.  He has a very sweet yellow lab, and he brought her over to our house for a little "visit" with our boys.  The minute Murph saw Maddy come through the door he went berserk.  He "herded" her into the corner barking and lunging the whole time.  He scared her so badly that she started to shake, cry and then peed.  She was actually cowering.  So I grabbed Murph as quickly as I could and he took Maddy home.  She didn't eat for the next three days.  Murph never showed any teeth, but it was the worst display of dominance I've ever seen from him.  Needless to say, we never put them together again.  I have no idea what brought this about...Maddy is a very submissive and calm dog who should not have been threatening to Murph.  He continued to react to every dog he saw on the beach.  I worked with him every day, correcting when he would start to bark and lunge and then rewarding when he stopped.  It would work for a while, but the next day we would have to start all over. 

Then there were the kids.  All six grandchildren were with us the first week.  We had a "house full" which I know because at any given meal I was usually cooking for 20.  That's a story in itself.  Have you ever tried cooking burgers for twenty (and they eat multiple burgers at any given meal) when they're shouting out while I'm sweating over the grill "I want medium...pink but definitely NOT rare"...or "make mine really well done".  Oh yes, there were many special orders.  All this with crazy Big Murph tethered to me.  Murph was fine with the big kids, but he did not like the little ones AT ALL.  We had a very frightening incident (also the first day) where the 18 month old went over to pet him, and he snapped at him.  No teeth, but clearly a strong warning.  Now there's no way to explain to a toddler that he needs to avoid the dog, so the entire rest of the time, Murph was leashed with me or DH holding him.  There was no way he could be trusted around the kids.  Our daughters were not happy, and they clearly don't understand why we would want to keep a dog who is this unreliable.  They managed to share with everyone that "their Mom loved Murph more than her own grandkids".  Now that just hurts.  They love to point out that we've spent a small fortune on training, and Murph is still "wacky"...their word, not mine.

I could go on and on with the stories, but this is already long enough.  I've been reading trying to understand what is going on with Murphy.  He is so sweet with us, so how can his whole temperament change like we saw these past two weeks?  Is it just genetics, or was he not appropriately socialized in those early weeks? I read where a "traumatic" event in the early weeks can cause problems that emerge later...maybe it's that.  Because he's a rescue, I really don't know about his parents.   I did have his thyroid checked, so I know it's not that...but is there some other hormonal cause?  My trainer has been on vacation and won't be back until Thursday, so I'll be interested in his thoughts.  Needless to say, this is all very difficult.  I love Murph so much, and he will always be with me.  I could never, ever consider any other option.  I just hope and pray that eventually we can get to the root of his problems, for his sake as much as ours.  Poor Guinness seems to get really scared during Murph's "outbursts".  He usually finds a place to just hide.  Here's his "safe place" at the beach....he spent a lot of time sitting on this basket.

So that's it.  If anyone has any thoughts or insights about what may be happening with Murph, I would love to hear them.  I'm feeling pretty "lost" right now.  I just want to do what's best for this guy, but I don't really know what that is.

 

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

I'll add my 2 cents but it probably isn't even worth that.  I believe that some dogs just don't do well outside their comfort zone and I'd guess Murph is one of them.  Can you "train" it out - I have no idea and am not sure that it would be best to try.  He is happy and well behaved inside the comfort of his own "family" and "home" unit and all the unfamiliar people, sounds, smells and action at the beach is just over load to him.  I'd never want to leave my boys for 2 whole weeks so maybe you could find a beloved dog sitter that could come to your home while you take a week with the grandchildren at the beach and then he wouldn't be so stressed?

When I told Rooney's breeder about the opportunity to adopt Stuart at 8 weeks or that their was an older litter with puppies available she told me "get one of the younger puppies.  Their personalities are set by the time they are around 14 weeks old.  You would still have time to shape your puppy."  I have no idea how old Murph was when you rescued him but he may have had some unhappy experiences early in life and this could just be his way of saying that he was stressed out.  Murph - you are a good boy and we love you!!!!!!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

It's worth a lot, Jane.  I think you are right that Murph is stressed out by things that are unfamiliar to him.  I may never know why, but now the trick is trying to manage it.  Thank you.

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

I agree with Jane here.  I don't know the reason that Murph is behaving this way but I do know from what you say that you had a very stressful vacation which didn't work well for anyone.  Murph is happy at home and I would not bring him next time although you will have to consider whether to separate Guinness or leave both of them home with a good sitter.  I think just accepting that he may have had a rough start in life and making allowances for him which keeps everyone safe might just relax you now after what was indeed a very difficult time. Just remember through all of this that you are a great Doodle Mom!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Thanks, Nicky.  I'm not so sure about the "great Doodle Mom" thing though.

[Mimi Linna, Lilly and Lolly]

I dont have any words of wisdom but you are a wonderful writer. I would probably leave murph at home next time and board him so you can enjoy a nice vacation.  hopefully you have someone that can housesit or a boarding polace that he is familar with. if not,start looking now and leave both of them over night once a month so he came get used to it..hugs.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Thanks for the support and "hugs"....I needed that!

[Ellen]

So sorry to hear about Murphy's experience.  I know that it must have been stressful for you, trying to calm him down and also fielding comments from your daughters.  A couple of questions -- Is this the first time that you've traveled away from home with Murph?  Is this the first time that he's been at the beach house?  It may be that he feels really safe at home and then he was in a very unfamiliar environment with a lot of new distractions -- new location, new house, new dog, new people (including a lot of grandkids).  It just may have been too much "new" stuff for him to handle, and he therefore was stressed.  It sounds like he was always on edge and unable to relax.

My GD Riley has a similar but less reactive experience when we travel with him and stay at hotels or B&Bs.  Personality-wise, he is a sweet, cuddly, and friendly dog.  He can get hyper when playing, but he's generally a laid back dog that gets along with most dogs. He rarely barks at sounds in the hallway of our condo.  But when we travel with him, he appears on alert in the hotel room or B&B room.  If he hears any little noise that he hears outside, he starts growling and barking even if he's in his crate with a blanket on top.   When we travel, we bring plenty of toys and treats.  He's getting better, but he's not totally relaxed when he's outside of his environment.

 

I just bought a "Thundershirt," which we're going to try out when we travel to the beach in a couple of weeks -- The thunder shirt is supposed to help calm some dogs through a swaddling type effect.  I know that I've seen a couple of posts about it on DK.  Hopefully, it will help calm him down at the B&B that we're staying at.

 

I'm sorry again that you and Murph had a stressful vacation.  Perhaps what would help is slowly introducing the new environment to Murphy so that he can get comfortable with the change.  For instance, the next time you go to the beach house, perhaps pick a time of year in the off-season when there aren't a lot of people around and it's just you, DH, and Guinness in the house.   There would be fewer distractions (noise outside, people on your porch, visitors) and you will have more time to focus on training and reducing his stress level.  

 

Good luck!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Thank you Ellen.  Actually Murph has been at the beach house a few times.  He's always a little nervous, but nothing as extreme as what we saw this time.  I tried the Thundershirt with him...but it didn't seem to help much.  The problem is that we rent the beach house, and it's only available during the Summer because it isn't winterized.  So there are always all the distractions to deal with.  I'm hoping my trainer will have some thoughts.

[AndySharon BoomerShaynaMariner]

Jane -

A couple of months ago you posted that the pack dynamics were changing.  Could this behaviour all be part of that?  I know you had a thyroid panel run, perhaps there is something else medically going on.  I'm just thinking that something physically is bothering Murph.  I do hope everything works out and Murph is ok.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I thought that may be the case too.  The thing is that since he's been back home he's fine....actually sleeping.  He must have been exhausted from his vacation....I know I was.  Thanks, Andy.

[Sue, Lola, Pongo & Hubby]

This just makes me sad. Poor Murphy, poor Guiness, poor YOU, and your poor family. I agree with the comfort zone theory, maybe it was just so new, and all the noises and action probably put him over the edge. Also, your stress level was probably pretty high, and he probably sensed that. Lola's scared of all new things, and I've found that if I use the "repetition" method, she tends to warm up to things. I've brought her to the park a few times in a day....get in the car, drive there, get out, spend some calm time, get back in the car and drive home....repeat, repeat, repeat. I understand that you probably don't have 100hours in your day to devote to this, but I'd maybe try it with an unfamiliar area close to your home to see what happens.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Thanks Sue!  I think you're right that my own stress level was high, and I'm sure that didn't help.