Wedding goes to the Dogs

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

The Wedding

This weekend F.J. and I were invited to attend a wedding and stay the weekend camping in the great outdoors with the Bride and Groom in an atmosphere of a Grateful Dead Theme ( do they do this still?)  A Jamboree in the hills.  The invitations encouraged attendees to bring a camper or tent and stay for the weekend- long bluegrass music festival. What was described as a being held in a beautiful lake setting turned out to be mounds of dirt dug to form a quarry on 10 acres of land with six trees, no electricity, and no bathrooms.

 

At the last minute the bartenders backed out or maybe were too drunk to serve. Since we are known as one of the only responsible drinkers, and since we really knew no one, we were asked if we could bartend the event at the last minute. We soon learned what was meant by us being the only responsible drinkers of this crowd.  Mind you, neither of us had ever bartended in our lives. 

 

What we originally thought was to be a combination of a Jewish groom (lawyer) and his bride (nurse)  became apparent we were wrong as a huge pig rotated on the spit.  But honestly, shouldn’t that have been our first clue before we decided to help out the mother of the bride and bartend—just the description alone!  A Grateful Dead Wedding held by a young group of professionals.

 

 

I know, wine comes in red and white, and beer is either in a bottle or can, or one of those things over there in a big tub with a handle.  Quickly, I was being yelled at by grown wealthy men demanding I do not give him head.  WTD?  I was horrified and sure I could not take this talk all night.  Oh, you mean no foam on the beer.  Okay, Okay, geesh.

 

We were held responsible for not having enough liquor, not serving fancy drinks, running out of beer, vodka, and worst of all, over 300lbs of ice melted quickly in the 97 degree heat!  The wedding had only taken place an hour before and the sun had not even set.  Dehydrated guests arrived demanding everything alcohol.  That was only the beginning of our day in a plastic tent with no electricity. A terrarium.  We knew right away if we served them strong and fast, this could end a lot quicker and our time would be limited with this gig.  WRONG again.

 

As the evening fell, we turned on 3 tiny battery operated lights that lasted a half hour and tried to serve alcohol in the dark.  Unfortunately, men in suits arrived with an entire fresh supply of vodka, and mixes, with 200lbs more of ice.  “The evening is young”, they all yelled as we looked at our watches at 9pm.  I had to feel around for F. J. hoping I grabbed the right man and not the creeps who kept complaining something about no head.

 

But get this……… the attendees brought their dogs!   Dogs of all sizes, shapes, ages, arrived unsupervised to the wedding.  Dogs, who hated each other, dogs, guarding the water bowls, dogs lifting legs on chairs, barking at arriving guests, dogs zooming between children’s legs and knocking them down, and drunken dog owners who had NO idea they owned dogs as the day wore on and the hot humid temperatures and alcohol intake increased. Dogs swam and zoomed in and out of crowds only to stop on the best of the dressed to shake off the water of the muddied lake all over sundresses and suits.  One dog howled as the vows were being recited.  Ow ooooooooooooo.  It seemed to me, we were in a dog park and someone decided to make it a hippy wedding romp event.

 

I overheard member of the bridal party softy screaming to another about the unattended Goldendoodle puppy who counter-surfed the wedding cake and took a huge bite out of the bottom tier. Someone hurried and cut these pieces away hoping no one had seen the muddy puppy prints and teeth marks.

 

Finally at 11:30 pm one of the bands stopped playing, and we decided to try to escape in the dark for the long travel home.

 

As we slithered and swerved between drunken passed out bodies on the lawn to our escape road out, I looked over and dogs were still awake rummaging through all the dinner trays as they sat atop the picnic tables throwing giant trays of food to the ground.

 

Certainly this was not an event for me, but this bride and groom were extremely happy and their guests were really Drunk.  

[F, Calla & Luca]

And it makes for a blog : )

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

And that counts big for something...LOL!

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

OMD - how funny!  Sorry you got stuck behind the bar - did ya at least make any tips?  LOL

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Seven dollars    :)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Joanne, we need photos! I would love to have seen all of this, not to mention I'm sure the fashions were interesting!

Poor you, poor FJ! Sounds like a nightmare, I hope you at least got a good laugh (or 10 or 20) out of it.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

The fashions were interesting. Many did not dress the part, but I did.  The bride loved the outfit.  I did love this part.

[Ginny Nightingale]

Unbelievable!! Glad the couple had a good time, but avoid any future anniversary parties --or even the baby showers! Speaking of babies, I wonder if any of the female dogs will be giving birth in approximately 63 days......

[Rose Ann and Amante]

Speechless!

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

Unbelievable!! What an experience to remember (or better yet, forget!$
)

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

OMD, a "Dead Head wedding'.  It's been so many years since I even thought about that.  Did the bride wear a tie died wedding dress?  Was it at Max Yasgur's farm?  It does sound bizarre but certainly unique.  The older I get the more I appreciate things that I've never experienced before and probably never will again.  You and FJ will be talking about this one for years....and laughing.  That's what counts.

[Amanda & Riley]

Wow! What a story : )

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Hey I think I was there, oh no wait that was in 1978 and it wasn't a wedding it was a group of drunken friends camping in the UP of Michigan....didn't like it then and most certainly wouldn't like it now.

YUCK!