What do you think?

[Jennifer and Jack]

First I just wanted to say, I am purposely not updating on Jack because I do not have any more news to report other then we are waiting for more test results to come in and he seems to be holding his own right now.

 

Now to my question.. I was discussing with a friend tonight who is a doodle owner who is thinking of getting a second doodle.. While I believe to the best of my ability that her dog would do well with a second dog.. I gave her the reasons I thought her dog would and why I know Jack would not. I wanted your input, and to see if you guys are experiencing the same thing.. since there is so much talk about doodle returns and second doodles.

 

It may simply be a personality thing and that is it, there may not be more to it then this but.. Jack has always been treated like my child and not a dog really. Yes he has gone through many levels of obedience training. Yes I make him listen to me, for the most part. But Jack does not sleep in a crate, he sleeps in my arms in bed with me, under the covers with me. His toys are his, I leave them out all the time, He does not tear them up. I leave them out for his play which is does play with them. He has no problem what so ever with a child or and human taking his toys, food or anything else away from him.

 

Jack assumes when I leave the house he is either going to a playdate, going with me or that I will be back pretty darn fast, He is not  crated and has access to me pretty much whenever he wants.. What I am getting at is, though Jack knows ultimately I am in charge, I believe he see's me as part of his possessions..  I am his mommy, his whatever, but I am his... Therefore, since he thinks I am his, just like his toys are his, just like his other things are his.. He feels the need to guard me, them and anything else he thinks is his, not from humans, remember I watch a newborn baby and he will bring the baby his toys, and play with him etc,

 

I believe me allowing Jack free access to me, his toys, and whatever has caused him to be the way he is.. I am okay with it as long as his behavior is good.. but I know full well that is why he is put off by another dog in his house. Why unless I want to fight him tooth and nail for God knows how long to behave.. that he will forever have a grudge to some extent with the other dog. Molly is leaving in a few weeks, she adores Jack and jack has been so good for her.. Jack if he could would help her pack, just to make sure she doesn't take any of his toys.

 

Now my friend who is thinking of getting another doodle, her doodle sleeps in a crate at night. Is totally spoiled rotten and loved to death but does not rule the roost if you know what I mean, she is not allowed because of her size to jump up on furniture as she pleases. She does not have toys at her liberty, because she destroys them. So she is not toy possessive

 

Now in all fairness, she has not had another dog in her house for a long period of time but she has been around another dog and she is nothing but loving and playful with the dog.

 

Do you guys think that there is something to that, that those of us who are struggling or would struggle with a second doodle have done what I have done.. Do you think that we have spoiled our dogs so much that they think they own us and that is where the jealousy and displeasure is coming from in our dogs seeing us with another dog?

 

I have no idea, just a thought..

[Linda, Webber and Seda]

Webber has always slept on my bed, had free access to his toys, had a year of obedience training, and didn't have to share me with anyone.  There was another dog in the house but she was a very senior Lhasa Apso, who slept all day and hated Webber ( I don't think she liked me much either).  He really did get all the attention until he was almost 3 years old.  I took him with me in the car for errands and anywhere that was dog friendly.  I am retired so I have spent every day with him and have only been away from him for 5 days in his whole life.  Then I got Seda.  Other than pushing his way between Seda and I to keep me from petting her, and stealing her toys for a while (actually they were his toys) they have gotten along from the beginning and seem to be best buddies now.  I think he was very spoiled.  I also think he would be very depressed if Seda was ever gone.  So, in answer to your question, I am not sure spoiling an only dog sets them up for possessiveness and displeasure if another dog was to join the family.  I also think we humanize our animals and they may not be thinking or feeling what we think they are.  I suspect the inborn temperament is probably what makes our dogs most of what they are, and then the way we train them modifies it.

[Jennifer and Jack]

Thanks for your response, so would you then think that Jack's inborn temperament is one that does not want another dog around? Jack does the same thing, pushes himself in between Molly and I if I am petting her, and he is mad about toys in general hers or his, often times it is his toy to begin with.

 

He always butts in when she is getting attention, He can't let me hold her without trying to climb in my lap etc...I don't let him get in between us, but I do make sure he gets plenty of alone time with me, especially since she is leaving in a few weeks. I am more concerned with how Molly is going to do without Jack and i  and her big back yard to play in

 

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Jennifer - I'm not thinking so.  Rooney had me to himself till he was 10 months old.  Sleeps in my bed, used a crate only for less than a month, toys out, went with me every where or to doggie day care.  He and Stuart get along well most of the time - they play rough sometimes while each figures out who the alpha will be.  Rooney is still my snuggle bug, velcro puppy.  If dh tries to leash him up and talk him and Stuart for a walk without me - Rooney will lock his legs up and refuse to walk!  LOL  Rooney would have been fine without Stuart but I think his life is enhanced because of Stuart.

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

Same here with Chloe & Myla theyhave their fights but the next moment they snuggle together,

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

Same here with my two...Peri and her non-dood brother are pretty happy. Tacky is still my devoted lap dog and will be until the end. But he loves his sister too.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I would have to say Fudge was spoiled when we got Vern. I always worried about her playing rough with other dogs. She liked to do the herding thing. I can honestly say from the moment we brought Vern home, the transition was easy. She was great with him. I do think Fudge would have been fine too as an only dog. Vern, I feel, needs another dog. Sometimes, I have just Vern go to the Pet Sitter and not because I prefer Fudge, but because Vern LOVES to go to the sitters, but Fudge LOVES to stay home. When I close that door after Vern leaves, I swear she prances and smiles, but she is also happy to see him when he returns. I can't really explain it, because Fudge is much pickier about dogs than Vern and does not like all dogs she meets, but she has never done one thing to Vern EVER and sometimes, I wish she would :) She also loves my DD's French Bulldog and they pick up right where they left off when they see each other. From time to time, I have thought about fostering, but I worry if it would work with Fudge. I just think they come with their own temperament and personality and some are dog friendly and some not so much.

[BG and Gavin]

First of all, I am chuckling at the image of Jack helping to pack Molly up to send her home and supervsing his toys to ensure she doesn't take any.  Secondly, this is the age old question:  Nature vs Nurture.  I suspect it is a bit of both.  I think that if your dog has certain leanings, your treatment of them can either enhance them or diminish them.  Some dogs have to be treated and trained carefully while others are more resilient and seem like thay do well with little or no training (lucky owners).  Gavin is really good with all other dogs and he has a fair number of boundaries in our home.  However at four months old in puppy socialization class before much training was in place, the rescue worker who ran the class whispered in my ear "Ohhh you have a good one."  I love him like crazy, but I always keep in mind that he is a dog.  He is an opportunist and if you give him one inch he will take two!  That keeps me on my toes!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I feel the same way as BG....I think it's a little bit of both.  Guinness has a very adaptable and sweet temperament.  It would take something very extreme for him to get "pushy", and so even though he was very used to being a little spoiled, he welcomed Murphy.  Murph, on the other hand, IS very full of himself.  If he had been the first dog, it would have been much more difficult to bring home a "brother".  Murph would love to try to "own" me, but I just don't allow it.  Murph needs very clear boundaries or else he thinks he's the "boss of everything".   Guinness is a "go with the flow" kind of guy.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

I agree that it has more to do with temperament than with the upbringing. Although the type of upbringing used  can help to modify or NOT the temperament.  Tara is pretty much the spoiled kid doodle too as you described JD, yet she is the most submissive dog I have ever had! OMD! I have just the opposite concern when considering adding another dog to the household. I am concerned that Tara would end up being bullied and picked on by a more dominant dog and I would really HATE that!!!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Jennifer, I really think it is owner preference.  For the most part dogs adjust to the life we force on them, however I do feel that some dogs would be/are happier being only dogs. Like people about being social or sharing space; it can be a personal preference; but when forced, most of us do what is 'expected' in the situation.

[Kathy, Harley & Roxie]

Jennifer, What a great question!  I look forward to more input.  I too believe that it is dependent on the dogs base personality.  Just as in the human world we have introverts and extroverts I"m sure there is an equivalent in the dog world.  When we have guest with their dogs come to visit, Harley is not possessive at all about his space or toys, but a few of the doggie guest are possessive with Harley's toys.

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

I think this is one of those questions we can ask ourselves but will never really know the definitive answer to. If you have only one dog, would he have been better with another or if you have two, would the first have been better left as an only child?

I liken it to having children. I am sure there are MANY siblings who wish they were an only child, but alas, the decision was not theirs to make and they live with what they are dealt by their parents and life. So be it for our dogs. If YOU wanted another dog in your life, for YOUR enjoyment, then you and Jack would make whatever you are dealt work for you.

Could I say that Murphy is "possessive" of me because he wedges himself between me and Bella when I am petting her? Sure, but I think it's more of a dogs (or childs) instinct to be thinking, "Hey, what is she getting that I'm not, better check this out and break this up" 

Toys, Bones, a piece of paper, they want whatever the other has, (ever see two toddlers playing, same deal)  I think in both cases letting them work it out with adult supervision is all it takes mostly. But that's just my opinion.