Updated - Need Advice for dealing with Winston's former owners

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Update: heard back from Winston's owners. I think all is good. I paid them the money and they said they are happy they made the right decision for him. They haven't send the form yet but they said they will and I am feeling a whole lot better about it now. Thanks for all the awesome advice!

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Winston's former owners have been asking for updates. I gave a brief one stating that he is doing fine and settling in well, during the first few days. Now they are asking again.

 

There is also a question of ethics. I promised them if they get him heart worm tested before I pick him up that I would pay for the test. I still haven't done that yet. I am having trouble bringing myself to give them money considering how poorly they treated him and how much money I've had to spend on his treatment because of their neglect. I really don't want to send them the money. It's not a lot of money, but it's the principle of the thing that bothers me. This dog that they claimed was in perfect health when he clearly wasn't, who they lauded as having the most calm and laid back personality when really he was lethargic from being so sick, deserved so much better from them and they failed him. He is worth so much more to me than a silly blood test but I just can't bring myself to send them the money-they don't deserve it! On the other hand, I did promise to pay for it and I should keep my word because that would be the right thing to do.

 

As far as updating them on how he's doing. I'm of two minds, I could ignore them completely, give a polite courteous "he's doing well" and leave it at that. Or I can tell tell exactly how things are going and exactly how I feel about them. I don't want to stay in contact with them so I don't want to have to keep giving updates, nor do I want things to get ugly if I send them and ugly email. And then deep down there is a fear that they will want him back. I am starting to get anxious about my decision to adopt a dog without going through a formal rescue program. Should i be worried?

 

What would you do if you were me?

[Rose Ann and Amante]

I realize that you have already received perfect advise. I wanted to say my two cents. I would be "nice" until I have the signed papers. Claiming you needed the for insurance purpose is perfect. I would  mention the issues of his health, only after it is official. I would be concerned that they would want him back blaming all "his" issues with them  on his health. Be sure you have a witness to signatures for validation. This way they can't come back and say it is invalid.

 

[Cindy M, Zachary & the Frenchies]

Sherri,

I agree that you should pay them. Not because they deserve the money, but because you said you would, and you are the kind of person who does what she says, and it's not about them, it's about you. You have received good information about getting something that legally transfers Winnie's ownership to you, which is important, and not paying them certainly could make that more difficult. Personally I don't believe in co-parenting in these types of adoptions, and since you are not friends with these people, they gave up any right to know about his status when they failed to properly care for him. I personally wouldn't get into his poor care or anything else, I don't think it is worth the effort - Winnie has a good life and is where he is supposed to be - I would recommend a clean exit. I would clear up these last few details and move on with your life with Winnie and Sophie and leave these other folks in the rear view mirror!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I think this is great advice. F and Karen gave you super advice about transferring ownership and Cindy has great advice about not getting into his poor care with these people. I would pay them, get the ownership papers, and move on. I saw this on a Church billboard the other day....The best revenge is to forget.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

I like that saying! it totally makes sense.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Thank you Cindy. I think you're right. I don't want to get into the nitty gritty with them, it really isn't worth it. Negativity breeds negativity and I don't need that dragging me down.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Get a signed receipt for ownership transfer, give them the money, one more he is fine (NOT with a photo) and NEVER contact them again.  Keep your word - they did what you asked - you have to live with your behavior not theirs.  Then put their e-mail address in spam with a clear conscience. 

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

love it. I will junk their email address for sure!

[Nancie & Gracie Doodle]

I completely 100% agree with F.  But, I would insist on a paper stating Winnie is now YOUR dog before I would hand over the money.  After that, there is no way they can take him away and you are not obligated in any way to continue to be in contact with them.

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

I'd have a hard time not telling them about all the issues he's having. I would hope that they care enough to appreciate that he;s getting such good care or at least discourage any ideas of having him back.

[Lynn D.]

Others have given you great advise. I totally would get something in writing, have them sign it, THEN give them any money (if you so choose). A couple of things though.

1. (Sorry if this has been mentioned before and I have missed it) Did you actually see the written report of Winston being HW negative? Or at least have this confirred to you by the vet them self?

2. Meet at a bank (to get the letter notarized) and have a 3rd party witness sign it too. This will protect you for safety and security and also if they try to make a stink about anything others will be around. This is probably obvious, don't bring Winston. BTW, your bank will probably notarize the document for free.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

More great advice.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

the Bank is a great idea. thanks, I'll see about that but it might be difficult to organize as they live a good 45 minute drive from me. They probably won't want to go to my bank, so I'd have to go there, and I don't think my bank has any branches in their town, as I tried to find one when I was up there last week to see his former vet. It can't hurt to ask though..

 

The vet's records say it is negative. The crazy doctor even included the actual test stick in the package of information for me. My vet thought that was so weird.lol.