Advice please on adding a 2nd at this stage of our lives..

[Chelsea and Bailey]

Hey everyone!

 

So we (mostly I) have been thinking about adding a second dood or mini/med size pup to our family, preferebly around spring or so of 2012.

 

This is our situation:

-I am 22 my DH is 26, we have been together over 4 years already, lived together a year.  DH works as a marketing manager, and I as a Registered Nurse (1 year workversary this December!)- so we both hold steady, well paying jobs.  My age seems young on paper, but I have always been an old soul....

 

-We have started a "timeline" of the approximate time we would like to have kids... Probably in 2-3 years, I would like to be 25ish with the first.

 

-We own a house, its small, 865sq ft, with a full basement (which we are reno'ing at the moment) There are always things to do in it, we just built a new deck, putting new electrical in the basement, new shingles, we needa new fence in the new year... the list goes on.  It was a starter house that we planned on upgrading, making some $, then moving out in 5 year time frame. Year 1 just passed!

 

-We like to travel at least once a year, going somewhere nice, we did Europe for 5 weeks 2 summers ago, others are more like 1 or 2 weeks a year..

 

-DH family has just accepted Bailey (took a year), his sisters kids are terrified of dogs and will not come anywhere near our house with her in.  So this adds to the pressure of him not wanting another, as he thinks his family adjusted to one and will not adjust to another.  The odd time if I am working a 12hr shift and DH is busy we will ask them to stop by for 30min-hr to let her out, his mom used to be terrified of dogs and now loves B. My family lives at the lake on weekends, but are willing to take her if needed, we have only ever asked them once to take her for a weekend when we had a wedding to go to. They loved her, but said she was lots of work.

 

-Bailey was a year old last weekend! We got her last December a week before Christmas.  She is the best dog, our families rave about her personality, calmness and love she gives to people. She is good with kids, loves other dogs of all sizes.  She is 100% reliable with toileting at our house or elsewhere. She is obedient 90% of the time, and we work with her. If we dont have time to do a long walk we have park directly behind our bay that we take her too and play fetch, or we go to the city dog park. She is still a puppy, we know that, but already at a year old she is very calm, during the days when I am home during the week she plays with her toys or lays at my feet, when she wants attention she steals a sock, LOL. She was supposed to be 40-50Ib and is now 62Ibs! So needless to say she has grown much larger then expected (she is also very tall).

 

So the reason I gave all this background information is because I want some honest opinions on whether or not having two dogs is ok at this point in our lives.  I read and read and read about people adding a second dog and loving it. However, most seem to either have older kids, or are empty nesters, I would love to hear from those who are or were in my situation that decided to get a 2nd pup. DH thinks it is a bad idea, he is not wanting it.  I am throwing a stink because my whole life I grew up without a dog, and my dream was when I moved out and started my own life I would own 2 dogs. DH NEVER wanted a dog, he was scared like his family, I convinced him and he is in love with B and agress it was the best decision, but now he is skeptical, he thinks we are busy and wants to wait to have kids then get a puppy, "because it will be fun for them", I dont think he realizes the work with that comment. I think we will always be busy in life, and I think adding the second dog before starting kids is a better idea. I remember those puppy days and they take a loooooot of work, which I dont think I could handle with little ones....

 

Anyways! I could go on and on with all my thoughts! Im sorry for the looong post! I have weighed the pros and cons for a couple months now, obviously I think the pros outweigh the cons, whereas DH can only see the cons.... SO, DK friends, please give me some insight!? Good or bad?

 

 

[BG and Gavin]

I think having two dogs is very tough.  Having a second dog seems to really change your lifestyle.  Double the training, double the grooming, double the expense, vet and food costs.  With one dog, you can bring them along most places,  but with two that is not so easy.  Having said all of this, my only experience with two dogs is when I look after my friend's doodle for one to two weeks at a time.  She is four years old and perfectly behaved and presents no challenges that way.  Despite the fact that I love having her to visit, she does double the work.  With walks, training, brushing and everything else, it seems like having two dogs can turn into a full time job.  Sometimes when people add a second dog, they are not as "easy" as the first and they end up disillusioned and frustrated.  I think not having your husband on board would really add to the pressure.  I am sure some two doodle members will chime in here with the honest truth for you. 

[Adina P]

I have two doodles and two kids under the age of 2.  It's hard.  Unless you are very organized and energetic. AND somehow laid back.  I am ONLY speaking about the kids and dogs part, but if you're gonna have more than one dog I say either do it right away so that dog is well trained and past puppyhood...or wait until you're in a groove with the kiddos.  Kids require an enormous amount of time.  Dogs are cake compared to kids!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Mostly because you can't send them to their crates : )

[F, Calla & Luca]

I am certainly an empty nester so not who you requested to respond.But I am responding to BruceGirl's comments. Double the money andsince I do it myself, double the grooming time and effort. But less need to exercise the dogs, they do that themselves often. It really doesn't take more effort to feed them and/or let them out. I never trained Calla as much as Luca because she followed his lead to some degree and she is more compliant in many situations. I bring both my dogs with me wherever I can. We had an outing to the  Christmas Tree store the other day. I find places either allow dogs or they don't and I take mine to anywhere they are accepted.

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

First if DH is not excited, I would wait.  My DH was not raised with dogs either and only knew that I wanted one so badly as I had been raise with dogs and horses, and cats and ....  This first dog we got was three   and we found him for free in a newspaper ad. We had a one year old at the time and a "starter" house like you. Ivan (the dog) was perfect, no puppy period, no potty training, no chewing, and old enough and big enough to tolerate a baby sticking her fingers in his ears.

 

We got a puppy seven years later.  The puppy gave Ivan a new lease on life.  We had by then a seven and a two year old and a husband/father who was at least not against the idea of a puppy.  I did all the puppy work, and I mean all and my DH was not absolutely against the idea.  Since then we have always had two dogs and DH helps me bathe and room them, walks them with me occasionally, etc.

 

Your life sounds full and happy, Bailey sounds wonderful, I would wait.  Enjoy Bailey, your work, your husband, your fixer upper and when you don't have to ask if its a good time to get another dog, that is the right time.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

First I think everyone in the house should be on board. Are you guys married yet? Isn't there wedding planning coming along as well as working on your house?

It is more work in some ways and less in others, as in exercise. When we have Bella (Daisy's little sister) much more work but she is still a puppy at only 5 months. That being said, you will have another year of puppy training.

If it were me I think I'd wait but understand why you wouldn't want to for sure. Puppies are great and 2 after all would mean more great. But again all must agree, you don't want resentment.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Well,the way I see it is if I'm single and can do it, than two responsible adults sure can. I just would not get a puppy. Rescue a mature dog who is calm and well trained. He has actually turned out to be more helpful with Sophie, and I feel like there is less work (except when it comes to picking up poo or feeding times, but that's not a biggie). The only thing is that you need to both be committed and if your husband isn't sure then it's best to wait until he is completely sure. That being said, I don't think his sister's kids fear should stop you. They need to get over it, as it's not healthy to have such a fear of dogs.

 

I know what you mean about the family having a hard time adjusting. I have a hard time with mine. I wish they could see it with the tables turned..." yea, um, do you mind leaving your kid at home this time? she's just too rambunctious for me and I'm worried that she will get in the way while we are eating..." or "yea, my dog isn't really crazy about children, so it's better if you board your kids over Christmas, it just won't work with them here".

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I have some relatives who's children I would love to crate!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Camilla and Darwin need to chime in on this one.   Just from what you wrote, I would not get another dog at this time.  It is a lot more work and your support system seems great for one dog, but I don't think it would work for a second. It is easier to plan for and take with you one dog.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

that is true. Now that I have Winston my sister in law doesn't want me to bring both dogs for Christmas. Since I don't want to leave hime back by himself I'm looking at boarding both dogs. At a cost of $40 per dog per night that really adds up.

[Barbara B., Sasha & Oliver]

You seem to be very mature and have your life in order with jobs, home, etc.  which is fantastic at your age and I commend you for that.  With that being said ... and this is only my opinion... I don't think it is a good idea, speaking from expierence, I have two doodles, I got Oliver when Sasha was  10 months old because she was a good dog and had lots of energy and needed a play mate and some canine company.  But my life is totally different from yours, I am 52, single, no kids, own my own house, have a fantastic job and some what a homebody.  My BF , friends and family are all dog people so there is no issues there.  I read all the time on pet finder and the doodles that are posted here on DK that the family is putting the poor doodle up for adoption because they do not have the time for the doodle anymore.  Most cases is because children came into the picture or the family is just busy with day to day activities etc. etc.  If you were not planning on having kids I would say go for it because you can devote your time to the dogs but once kids come along they are your top priority and the dogs take a second or even third place in your life.  Then the doodle is placed up for adoption.   

 

More on two doodles.... its work !!!!  I however find it very rewarding work because I have no kids and live alone.  I am not saying that you can't have 1+ dogs and kids and not make it work because people here do have that and make it work.  There is also the expense of it as well... you both have fanstastic jobs but just think that when you start a family you will want a bigger house which is more money, more to clean -LOL, more responsibilit etc.   Having two means double the food, double the vet bills, double your time, double the expense of toys, accessories, etc.  If you have a sick dog the cost can be in the thousands.... believe me I have been there done that !! and many people here can attest to that as well.  In Sasha's first year of life it cost me $4,500 in vet bills because she had pneuomina (Sp?)  I did not plan on it, was not prepared for a sick dog but I got thru it and would beg, borrow or steal to make sure my doodles are happy and healty.  Things can happen that you don't plan on.

 

If you hubby is not on board with this and already there are some issues with his family and being afraid of the dogs the wedge will only get bigger if you get another dog.  You don't want to rock the boat with adding another dog to boot !!  This is only my opinion and you need to do what is best for you AND the dogs.

 

Chelsea you certainly have you life together much more than I can say for myself at your age :) and at this time in you life #2 doodle seems like a good idea and it is but you are young and your life changes so much as you get older some for good .. some for the bad.  Now on the positive side...... having two doodles is the best thing I ever did, I wanted to get another dog while Sasha was still a puppy so she would be accepting of a brother or sister and wouild be on the same play level as a younger puppy.   Your life at this point would be the best time for another puppy in my opinion. 

 

I wish you luck in your decision - (sorry for the long response but I wanted to give you the whole picture).  You sound like you are a great doodle mom and really care for your dog :)

[Karen Kramer]

I feel like I was in the same situation as you about 4 months ago.  I am currently 25, married, no kids, both DH and I have good jobs, thinking of having kids in 1-2 years, and we have one pretty well-trained doodle-Zoey.  I also really wanted a second dog, especially after reading all the forums from people who say they LOVE having 2+ dogs, but my hubby was not on board either.  Zoey was so lonely during the day when we were at work--and she just loves other dogs!  After some convincing, well, a lot of convincing, we did decide to get a male goldendoodle puppy--Tucker.  But, I must say, DH was on board before we GOT the puppy--he was resistant, but eventually agreed.  I think it was the best decision we could have made.  It is more work, especially at this stage because the puppy is exactly that, a puppy (12 weeks).  But he is already super smart and catching on very well.  The two doodles get along wonderfully.  Those nights when the puppy needed to go outside and then wanted to play...I just had to supervise--Zoey did all the work and played with him.  I am expecting the grooming to get a little bit overwhelming--I would say that's where a lot of our time goes currently since we groom ourselves--ear cleaning, baths, brushing, toe clipping, shaving, etc.  Both our doodles are low maintenance though (straighter versus curly hair).  Since DH was on board, he is very helpful.  We each do our part to make our routine go faster.  The best part for me...is watching Zoey and Tucker play--they LOVE each other and Zoey seems to be much happier.  The vet bills and food are double and fortunately, that's not a problem for us.  I think the key to enjoying the second dog is accepting and recognizing that it is more WORK.  It's not going to be easy when kids come into the picture, but I PLAN on it being difficult.  I want my kids to have dogs in their lives and my thought was to have two properly trained dogs before kids....because the thought of training a puppy with young kids in the house....ugh, does not sound like fun.  Getting Tucker was one of the best decisions DH and I could have made....next to getting Zoey  :)  Even my parents comment about how they have grand-dogs instead of grand-kids.  The attached picture is pretty typical for Zoey and Tucker--and it makes us SMILE  :)  It is a hard decision and for some people it might not work out...you just have to be ready for the extra work!