We have learned to disagree!!

[AndySharon BoomerShaynaMariner]

 

There was a recent discussion that brought out some strong opinions  and although not everyone had the same opinion the discussion was civil and friendly. 

 Unfortunately the person who started the discussion did not like some of what was discussed, so she decided to leave DK and strip her comments out of the discussion. ****UPDATE - AS OF 10 am EST the whole discussion has been removed****

 

There are times that we don't all agree and that is OK - I respect all of the DK family and try to treat all with the same respect that I would like from them.

 

We all come here as a community, to share and help each other.  There are "hot" issues about our Doodles and a healthy and lively discussion follows.  We can each learn from one another.

 

I encourage everyone to voice their opinions.

 

 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I think there is a difference between unsolicited opinions and those that are requested. When someone comes into a public forum and asks for peoples honest opinions, they should be prepared to get just that. People who take everything personally and are very sensitive probably shouldn't be inviting public opinions or scrutiny of their actions.

I also think that in the case yesterday, we had a very young, inexperienced person who sort of painted herself into a corner by giving some information that was contradictory and invited comment, and once she saw the kind of reaction she was getting, she became defensive. Sometimes when people realize they have made a mistake, or are caught embellishing the truth, they are embarrassed, and instead of being able to take responsibility for it, or simply saying "never mind", they lash out. It's a childish response, but it's human.

If anyone cares to look back at the discussion, they will see that it was indeed civil, and nobody came close to attacking anyone. But some people see an attack in anything that isn't absolute agreement or praise.

This is not the first time a young person who has never been responsible for the care of a dog before, who has never experienced a dog's entire life cycle, gets a puppy, joins the site, and immediately announces to a bunch of strangers that he or she is going to start breeding. And when the response to this is in any way discouraging, they get embarrassed, angry, lash out, and accuse people of attacking them. I for one am sick of it.

I really do try to stay out of these things because honestly, sometimes they are so silly that they aren't worth the time it takes to type a response.

 

[Amy, Cubbie & Ollie]

Doing what you do with DRC, has to make those "novice" breeder discussion especially difficult and frustrating for you.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I think about this BYB who sold an intact 6-week-old puppy to a 20 year old, and the "meeting place" where she also unloaded other puppies of varying ages, and I wonder how many of them will end up in shelters, or passed from home to home until they have behavioral issues that make them unfit to live with, or worse. When people buy from responsible breeders, at least we know those dogs have a safety net if the owners ever have to give them up.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I am perplexed. I thought that when a person left DK forever all their content was deleted. So why was this whole discussion about breeding not deleted. And did the poster's comments themselves get deleted automatically or did she in fact delete them. I know Adina changed the formation of groups to be DK's rather than  individual's groups to avoid having whole groups deleted if someone left.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I know that when you "leave DK forever", you have the option to delete all of your content, but Adina had recently said that we would no longer be able to delete our discussions. So I guess you can delete all of your content except for discussions you have started?

[F, Calla & Luca]

Hmmm. I seem to remember something like that vaguely, which for me lately is about how it goes.

[AndySharon BoomerShaynaMariner]

If you look at the upper right corner of your post there is an "X".  So I beleive you can always delete any of your comments.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

But not your whole discussion.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Yes, I know that. But I'm wondering if that happens automatically when you leave if you chose to do so. I think it used to be that way. And your groups and discussions would disappear too.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I agree.  I was proud of our members in this discussion.  I thought that a very controversial subject was discussed in a very civil manner.

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

When I originally read that persons discussion and the questions posed I thought to myself "she's on dodgy ground".  If she had trawled through this site and the many opinions on her chosen subject she would have seen the care and passion that the people who post on this forum have.  If she had taken care to do some reading here before posting her questions perhaps either the questions would have been different and/or she would have expected exactly what she got.  I think all the responses were respectful in their tone although the message was clearly hard to hear.

[Jennifer and "Cooper"]

I became concerned when I noticed that 2 of her 3 questions revolved around money. And as the discussion evolved, it became clear that it was not going in the direction she wanted and she was not getting the responses she wanted to get.  I chose not to respond because I am one of those people who, at times, temporarliy loses the ability to be polite or gentle in my responses.  And this would have been one of those times.   I don't think members were rude or disrespectful.  I think they were being honest and trying to educate her. 

As others have said, if she had spent more time on DK and looked at other discussions, she would have had a better idea of how passionate our members are and a better idea of some of the responses she was likely to get.  Although, judging by her responses and behavior (leaving the site altogether), I don't know if the outcome would have been any different.