Doodle Plus Babies

[Sarah]

I have a wonderful two year old doodle. My fiance and I have several friends who are all due in July and wanted to know of anyone experience with their dog and a new baby around and how they reacted. Our friends come over a lot and are a little concerned. Don't want the big fella kept up while they are over. Any suggestions?

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Please note my Wall photo - this is my big girl Daisy with her new itty bitty French Friend Aufet. He is 2. Daisy is so gentle around him, no one taught her to be that way she just is. She normally will not drop a toy for anyone, this little guy she dropped them at his feet and lightly stepped around him...the only issue was her tail kept swiping him in the face - lol.

Now, that does not mean all doodles are like that and I am sure glad my Daisy is. I think you just have to test the waters.

[L.M.]

I'm going to follow this post closely, as I'm just about in my 8th month of pregnancy and I have 2 doodles.  Our plan is to introduce our new baby to our doodles as calmly and quietly as possible.  I think the major issue with dogs and babies is that everyone gets so anxious and jumpy about it and the dogs then feed off of our nervous energy.  I already told my family that when we come home with our baby, no one can be at the house except us because our doodles go a little crazy when greeting visitors.  In my mind, if it's quiet and calm (as much as can be with an infant lol) things will start out on a positive note.  If people make a huge deal out of things, I think it's a recipe for disaster.  We've attempted in the past to keep our dogs in another room until guests come in the house, but it just makes things worse.  They need to just say hello and will then settle.  Give them a brand new bone (we whip out the rawhide on occasions like this...I know some people don't do rawhide, but we are careful with it) immediately when guests come in and it keeps them occupied for the night.  

[Adina P]

Lindsey where do your doodles sleep?  Mine have all been in our room but they tend to get kicked out, temporarily with babies.  Just no room.  Rosco is still in there, but Boca is crated at night because she's too exciteable and Rosco barely moves if I trip over him.   The lack of 'calm' for me has always been about the high level of patience it takes with that first baby...when they are crying and crying and crying and at the same time it's YOUR meal tand the doodles are whining because it's THEIR meal time and they need to be let out and you're trying to figure out WHAT to do first and when and how and then the baby has an explosive poo and... It can be hectic, especially if you are sleep deprived.  I'm GLAD your baby will be here as the weather gets nicer.  Makes for nice walks to get everyone out and clear your mind =)  I've had VERY few walks with the kids and dogs this year because between naps, meals, house cleaning, playing, actually GETTING them dressed and ready to go...I miss that tiny window of tolerable weather :-/ or daylight. 

[Jennifer and Jack]

Dear Sweet Adina, Soon Spring will be here and everyone will be out enjoying the sunshine, Walks will happen, naps will get longer, Kids will get dressed, You will get to eat like a normal person again. You will sleep for longer periods of time.... kids will nap better...

Hang on Spring is Coming...

xoxo

[Adina P]

Kids nap pretty good, usually.  Natalie is a dream napper.  Blake is usually good.  The trouble with naps is that he's at the age where he needs two.  This was fabulous with only one child, but with two it is really limiting.  Partly because Blake falls asleep so easily in cars and strollers so I have to time my outings carefully so I don't mess up his naps--I NEED his naps.  More than anything I miss sleep.  I could say goodbye to walks for a long time in exchange for adequate, less interrupted sleep.  Ahhhh..sleep.  I should go nap NOW, but then my kid-free down time would be gone.

[L.M.]

Adina, my doodles do sleep in our room as well.... as of right now we're not planning on kicking them out .....our room is small and they sleep in a narrow area next to our bed (which wouldn't be wide enough for a bassinet anyway).  We are planning on either keeping baby in his room from day one as it is right next to ours or we will put the bassinet on the other side of our bed, which is wider and the dogs don't sleep there.  I'm sure I'm being overly optimistic...lol I'm guessing that's a trait of first time moms...  but I have to be if I'm going to make it through the next few months without going crazy  =)  

On the bright side, I will have my husband home with me a few weeks after the baby is home....we are both teachers so will have the summer off together.  The initial few weeks will be craziness and I'm honestly more nervous about visitors coming over than anything else because the dogs get crazy with visitors.  Can I nicely tell people to stay away for a bit, at least until I'm healed enough to be able to control the dogs?  

[Adina P]

I never shared a bed with my first child.  But my second is still in my bed on many nights at least for the last stretch of sleep.  So far it's not anywhere as awful as I'd imagined...I was very against it with my first.  But she was better at sleeping. 

I think it is 100% okay to ask people to call ahead or not stop by for a few weeks.  I put a sign on my door that reads something like "Mommy and Baby might be sleeping.  Please do NOT knock or ring bell unless we are expecting your visit.  Call us instead"  In all honesty this was mostly to keep the dogs quiet because I tried to catch naps when I could and barking dogs are very disturbing.  It works GREAT!  I still have it up because I don't want any kid naps disturbed and our house is not large so sound travels fast. I can control my dogs once they bark, but those first barks are the worst.  And half the time I don't even know someone is at the door until the dogs bark.  They hear it before I do.

Your job in those early weeks is to bond with baby, catch sleep when you can, eat enough, and get to know your new little family member.  If you plan to breastfeed (#1 ranked baby kibble) then you'll be doing it all day long (it will feel like it anyway) and it can be quite difficult at first for a lot of women.  It will be nothing like you imagine in good ways and bad ways...but super wonderful too =)  So YES give yourself permission to demand some quiet time at home with your family without constant interruption.  UNLESS of course those visitors are willing to bring you food, do laundry, wash dishes, walk dogs, etc to help :-)

[L.M.]

That truly is my biggest fear.... the family!! lol Especially certain family members on the husband's side  ;)     They are the ones who told me "If need be, we'll take one of the dogs if you want to get rid of them."  lol they are delusional.  

But in all seriousness when they come over they are more of a nuisance than a help.....they wind up the dogs because they are so loud and jumpy, and I have a feeling that I will wind up waiting on them instead of the reverse.  So I will definitely be requesting a call before any visitors and I will most likely make them wait until my husband comes home.  

Thanks so much for the advice and I'm sure I'll be coming on here with questions (or just to vent) once the baby arrives.  =)   

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Lindsay -- You might also consider daycare for the doodles a few days a week in the beginning.  Would probably be good for all concerned.

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

Cooper (60lbs)  hasnt been around babies, but we have 3 cats - she plays with the kitten (he was 6lbs but now is 13lbs), and is oh so careful with him. 

[Adina P]

I've had four dogs and a baby and two dogs and a toddler and a baby. And no real issues. 

Keep in mind that a newborn is most likely going to be in someone's arms or in a car seat at your house.  And they will probably be sleeping the whole time because if they are like most newborns they sleep all day and stay up all night.  They also don't do much when they are awake.  So although your dog will be curious and want to sniff the little ones out, there will be minimum interaction.  The newborn probably won't get knocked over and then newborn won't be competing for toys.  So for the first few months your dog will gradually get used to this new tiny person little by little.  The tricky part is when these babies start reaching out, pulling fur, banging on the dog, crawling over the dog, pulling the dog's tail, squealing with excitement, running around and getting the dog all riled up, getting knocked over as they walk on their wobbly legs, etc. 

For the most part you just have to teach your dog respect and learn to identify if and when your dog is stressed and make sure doggy knows how to escape.  And make sure your dog is willing to be obedient and go lie 'down' and 'stay' when you want the baby to have some room to wiggle without getting slobbered or stepped on or tempted to pull fur.  I think if you have control over your dog and your dog is well socialized and accepting of people your dog should be fine with your friends' newborn.

When they first come over I would allow your dog to see and sniff the baby very briefly and then help the dog ignore the child as much as possible.  Redirect him to a toy, bone, or have him lie down without guarding you or the baby.  Redirect/distract the dog if the baby starts wailing. Some of my dogs have acted concerned when one of my newborns were crying and others have wanted to escape the area because it bothered them....usually they just ignored it.

It will be MUCH easier to teach your dog manners and obedience to commands than it will be for your friends to teach their crawlers or new walkers to respect a dog's space.  So remember the onus is on YOU to keep your dog controlled, let your dog escape to a safe space (you might have to take your dog there if it has a hard time saying no to the excitement of the toddler) or otherwise keep your dog feeling safe.  Kids will almost always, guaranteed, behave 'wrong.'

I forgot to mention that once my labradoodle, Rosco, growled (almost imperceptibly) toward my daughter, who I think was not yet walking (not sure though). He was busy with his bone and she wanted to play with it.  Although I let him know that his response to her was NOT acceptable, I also worked to teach Natalie to NOT take toys from him.  I think both parties have to be taught how to behave.  Rosco is otherwise super mellow and VERY tolerant of my kids. 

Other than that the only constant 'danger' is that none of my dogs have any clue as to their size or power.  So playing fetch in the yard with the dogs WHILE my daughter is playing in the yard too gets very tricky.  If Natalie is in their way as they whip around to chase a ball, she WOULD get knocked over and hard.  If they are zooming or wrestling I shout out reminders to my daughter to watch out and keep her distance.  It makes me nervous all the time.  And Boca, my not-yet-2-year-old doodle likes to spin and wiggle and walk between the tightest of spaces and do circle-eights around my daughter...so sometimes she gets knocked down (or she did when she was younger).  They also have no sense of blankets that are on the floor for baby...so I usually gate them when I put my babies down for tummy time on blankets on the floor.  Either that or they are in down stays nearby.  But as much as they don't seem to respect a blanket, they aren't oblivious to their presence because Rosco will try to sneak a nap on them if I leave them out...haha =)

It will be a good experience for your friends' kids to learn how to love doggies and how to behave around them.

[Kathy, Harley & Roxie]

purchasing a portable play pen for your home might offer some peace of mind.  Your doodle would be able to get use the smells of the babies, yet offer protection (supervised of course).  I bet your friends would also find it very nice to have a safe place to lay the baby down